Awakening The Sacred Gate to Supreme Bliss: Tantri

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Awakening The Sacred Gate to Supreme Bliss: TantriAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Awakening The Sacred Gate to Supreme Bliss:Tantric G-Spot Orgasm & Female Ejaculationby Somraj Pokras and Jeffre TallTrees, Ph.D.Published by TantraAtTahoe.comCopyright © 2003 by Tantra At TahoeALL RIGHTS RESERVEDNo part of this publication may be stored, reproduced, forwarded via email, or transmittedin any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording,or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permissionof the copyright owner and the publisher of this book. Bona-fide purchasers may print one copyof this document for personal use. Brief quotations may be used in reviews prepared forinclusion in a magazine or newspaper, or for broadcast. For further information, pleasecontact…Tantra At Tahoe 11200 Donner Pass Road #146, Truckee, CA 96161 USA Phone (530)587-1317, Fax (530) 587-9056, Email.EDITION 0.9 June 5, 2003ISBN 0-9721913-1-3ContentsChapter 1: IntroductionChapter 2: Sacred Tantric SexualityChapter 3: Kundalini EnergyChapter 4: Tantric LovePlayChapter 5: Sacred LandscapeChapter 6: Sacred Gate MassageChapter 7: Yoni HealingChapter 8: Ecstatic StatesChapter 9: Kama Sutra Sex PositionsChapter 10: Female EjaculationBonus Chapter 11: Male G-SpotChapter 12: ConclusionDedicationThis book is dedicated to our beloved Tantric family, a continual source of Supreme Blissthrough spiritual inspiration, sexual ecstasy, and expanded consciousness.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 2Important NoteThe material in this book is for educational purposes and is intended to provide helpfulguidance to lovers about human sexuality. Every attempt has been made to provide accurate,dependable, up-to-date information. We believe what’s presented here will be helpful and posesno risk to any healthy person.This_ding that neither the author nor the publisher is engaged in rendering medical,psychological, or any other professional service. If you have questions concerning theapplication of the material and advice described in this book and its affect on your health andwell-being, it is your responsibility to consult a qualified professional first.Any use of the techniques used in this book are at your own risk.This book is not intended to serve as medical treatment, psychological counseling,psychotherapy, or any other services best performed by a health professional. No part of thisbook should be used as a means of self-treatment or as a viable substitute to or for medicalevaluation by a physician. If you suspect you have a condition requiring such treatment, weencourage you to seek professional help before engaging in the practices included.Absolutely no part of the program should cause pain or unusual symptoms. Should sucharise during or after doing the practices within, the affected party is advised to seek medicalevaluation to identify possible causes.If you have knowledge or suspicion that you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease,we urge you to consult with a qualified health professional before engaging in any partnerpractices in this book.The authors and publishers cannot be held responsible for any error, omission, professionaldisagreement, or outdated material in this book. The authors and publishers are not liable forany upsetting reaction, damage, injury, infection, fatal disease, or other adverse outcome as aresult of applying the information or engaging in any activities suggested in this book.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 3Chapter 1: Introduction”The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”—– Ben Franklin1.1 Opening SectionThis is what you have to look forward to…”As I lay here with my legs spread and my beloved’s head bowed, worshipping at the door ofmy secret garden, I give great thanks for the pleasure I’m about to feel.”With his soft tongue on my most sensitive outer trigger, and his two longest fingers inside, Iwrithe, scream, and come and come and come. Orgasmic energy engulfs me and soon all he has todo is breathe on me and I shower him with my divine nectar. It goes on and on, over and overagain for about 30 minutes.”My beloved is grinning and I am, oh, so blissful. He asks if I want more. Not a hard questionto answer. I say YES!”When I reach the continuous Orgasm Zone, I simply want more, More, MORE!”PurposesThe purposes of this chapter are to…• Help you understand what’s in this ebook.• Orient you to what is where and how to proceed.• Introduce you to how Tantra fits in.WelcomeWhen you read the introduction above, did you say to yourself, “I want that?” Whetheryou’re a woman or a man, young or old, gay or straight, you want to know the depth andbreadth of your sexuality. You want to feel great pleasure and amazing sexual ecstasy. Youwant to pass through the Sacred Gate Of Supreme Bliss, our Tantric name for the G-Spot.You want it all.You want to have full-body orgasms, multiple orgasms, extended orgasms with maximumenergy that blow your mind. You want to know all there is to know about the female and maleG-Spots and female ejaculation.Regardless of your gender, you want to be all you can be sexually. You want to feel totallyconfident as a lover — as the receiver of peak pleasure and the giver of untold ecstasy.We wholeheartedly agree. We believe fervently that you deserve it all. Your sexual self isthe very essence of who you are.If this sounds like anything you want, you’re in for a real treat. Even if you’re not sure, thisebook was designed just for you.Sex Positive AimOur aim is to support you in being totally sex positive. That means you know that sexualecstasy is a divine gift and any way you get it is good for you. We want you to love filling yourpleasure balloon, that imaginary bubble inside you that expands with good feelings when youlet it.Awakening The Sacred Gate will show you how to…• Expand your capacity for pleasure• Bring spirit and awareness into your sexual play• Routinely reach supreme sexual ecstasyAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 4• Build confidence that you can give maximum pleasure• Achieve your full sexual potential• Fully and proudly embrace your sexual birthright.To achieve this, you’re going to learn to give and receive Sacred Gate (G-Spot) Orgasms ofincredible power and emotional sweetness. You’re going to learn to supercharge your sexualplay with female ejaculation and relish being bathed in the Goddess’s sweet ejaculation fluid.With the latest scientific findings, you’re going to discover a whole host of new ways toexchange pleasure.Just as there are many ways to create beautiful music, there’s more than one way to makelove. We’re sure you already know how to play some of the instruments in your sexualorchestra. In the coming pages, you’ll learn to play those instruments in creative new ways, toplay new instruments, and to expand your play list with both.Soon you’ll become the master of ecstatic alternatives to sexual union (our Tantric name forintercourse). Not to mention ways to make sexual union supremely blissful.But we have to warn you. If you play music like this once, neither of you will ever want tostop.Especially For Women (Partners, you can read this too)If you’re a woman, please know that we wrote Awakening The Sacred Gate mostly for you.And so your lovers could give you maximum pleasure. Which is still for you. Though thisebook ends with a bonus chapter about the male G-Spot, it’s mostly about female anatomy,female arousal, female ecstasy, and female orgasm.If you wonder why, a few statistics can make this crystal clear.Less than half the women who have sex reach orgasm during sexual union (intercourse).Some estimate 75% of women can’t reach orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation. Sadly, 10 to15% of women have never had an orgasm.Somebody has to do something about this. We nominate you. Do you accept?Maybe you feel that you’re not a very sexual person. Maybe you don’t particularly like sexthe way you’ve had it. Maybe you’ve had negative or painful experiences. Maybe you think youdon’t have a G-Spot or you have one that doesn’t feel particularly good.Together, we’re going to change all that.We want you to enjoy sex. We want you to believe it’s good for you. We want you to releaseyour inhibitions, let go of control, and stop holding back. We want you to remember that beingalive means feeling desire. We want you to know that sexual play is good for you. We want youto celebrate that your orgasms make you healthier, more awake, and closer to God.Whew! Do you get the idea that we really care about your sex life? You’re right, we really,really do.Sex Negative CultureUnfortunately, most of the so-called civilized world disagrees with the above views. Wedon’t live in cultures that encourage us to explore our bodies, our orgasmic triggers like the GSpot,and their spiritual connection. Religions frown on it. Few of our parents talked about it.You can’t even think about it at work without a lawsuit.Even worse, health professionals are as hung up as the rest of the population. We regularlyreceive referrals from highly trained ther****ts who are too shy to deal with sexual issues. Infact, too many medical doctors scoff at proven sexual realities like female ejaculation.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 5Partly, this sad story explains why the average lover doesn’t know more about their ownorgasmic pathways. Never fear, in the coming pages we’re going to help you change all that.Forever!Tantra can help you drop these limiting beliefs and create the kind of sex life you crave deepinside. Tantra is the ancient spiritual practice of sacred sexuality that uses sexual energy to raiseconsciousness.Not only will you learn how Tantra can enhance every aspect of your love life, along theway you’ll undoubtedly discover how to make your whole life better.It’s OK if you don’t know much about Tantra, because we’ll fill in the gaps shortly.If you do know a lot about Tantra, we’re confident that you’ll discover a whole new practicalside before mastering our version, Supreme Bliss Tantra.1.2 Tantric Ebook Section”Sex really is a physical expression of a whole lot of stuff that has no physical existence: love andjoy, deep emotion, intense closeness, profound connection, spiritual awareness, incredibly goodfeelings, sometimes even ecstasy….We free our a****l selves by opening our intellects toawareness of our bodies, and when we are no longer stuck in our intellects we become more likespirit: intuitive, experiencing the joy of life for the sake of experiencing, in communion withourselves, with each other, and beyond”—– Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Liszt in The Ethical SlutSupreme Bliss TantraSupreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy intoexpanded consciousness.Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancientEastern spiritual path that uses sexual energy practices to…• deepen love and intimacy,• extend lovemaking, and• create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being,and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…• heals your mind, body, and spirit,• connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and• immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to reach cosmic peaks ofpleasureultimately making life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.Our Starting Place & YoursHere are just a few of the key questions that we’ll answer for you in the coming pages…• Can you find your own and your lover’s Sacred Gate (G-Spot)?• Do you know how to give a G-Spot orgasm?• Women, can you release your inhibitions and open to your Goddess nature?• Men, can you orgasm without ejaculating from G-Spot play?• Women, do you know how to ejaculate when you climax?We know you’re reading this because you want to know more of the answers to questions likethis.When we started on the path of Supreme Bliss Tantra during the mid-90s, neither of us weremulti-orgasmic. Like many other women, Jeffre’s orgasms required effort. She was never awareAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 6of ejaculating. Like most men, Somraj couldn’t separate orgasm from ejaculation. So he usuallycame pretty quickly.Realizing how much we were missing gave us strong motivation to learn about pleasure,ecstasy, and orgasm through Tantric practice. We’ve changed so much and had so much funthat we just had to share our journey with courageous intelligent folks like you.What’s In Our EbookAwakening The Sacred Gate is chock full of frank, accurate, up-to-date information aboutyour sexual landscape, including a detailed description of male and female sexual anatomy.What’s more important, we’ve richly punctuated it with hands-on exercises and practices youcan use to quickly teach yourself these powerful sexual skills. Along the way you’llundoubtedly discover how Tantric healing helps you drop negative sexual attitudes, releaseunwanted inhibitions, and awaken dormant responses.Isn’t it great news that practices which teach you to fill your pleasure balloon make you feelfantastic along the way?Sexual learning isn’t so different from strengthening your body by work-outs at the gym.They both follow the old maxim…use it or lose it. The more you exercise, the easier it gets andthe better it feels. Through practice, you heal the weak parts to make your sexual systemhealthy and whole.We’ve created an ebook that is both comprehensive and user friendly. Though it has a littleof everything we’ve learned and how we learned it, it’s not an academic volume, exhaustivelisting of references, or lengthy survey responses. It’s a practical program that reveals all youneed to know.Awakening The Sacred Gate shows you step-by-step how to put Tantric Sex into practiceimmediately in your sex life.In the coming chapters, you will find powerful techniques to master you own sexual forces.You’ll learn how to use these techniques to give your beloved exquisite pleasure only imaginedin you most erotic dreams.We hope you get the idea that we very much want you to become the lover you want to be.Sexual Exploration JournalWhen Somraj was a chemist, he learned to document everything about scientificexperiments in laboratory notebooks. You might want to use a similar approach while readingAwakening The Sacred Gate.To raise self-awareness, many readers find great benefit in recording their thoughts,reactions, and discoveries in a personal journal dedicated to sexual exploration. We suggest youget one right away. Then, as you read this ebook, you can jot down what you agree with, whatmakes a strong impact on you, and what doesn’t jive with your experience.When you do the practices sandwiched throughout this ebook, you’re bound to learn lotsabout your body, your sex, and yourself. Capturing your adventures offer valuable insight asyou progress and help you remember important discoveries. Journalling becomes an invaluabletool when you choose to communicate to a lover what you’ve learned about pleasuring yourSacred Gate.During all the practices in this training program, we don’t expect or encourage completeinstant transformation. So writing down what happened can help you pick up where you leftoff next time. Further, the G-Spot and female ejaculation often push emotional buttons and raiseissues buried deep inside. You’ll want to take some breaks to process what comes up, clear thedecks, and integrate what dawns on you.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 7Journalling can help with all that.To energize your journalling, you’ll find discussion questions similar to the followingspread throughout your ebook. You can write your answers or close your eyes and look insideat your own situation. If you’re anything like the average couple, talking about sex isn’t theeasiest thing to do. Those who go through this program with a partner find that these questionsare great stimulants for honest intimate communication.EXERCISE: Journal Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to journal, reflect on, or talk about…• How big is your capacity for pleasure?• How much spirit do you bring into your loveplay?• What are your orgasms like? Difficult? Full-body? Multiple? Continuous?• How much of your sexual potential have you realized?Tantric SexTantric Sex is making love reverently, sacredly, and consciously to maximize and circulateorgasmic energy. It’s much more than technique. It’s an amalgamation of attitude and emotion,awareness and approach.To be sure, this ebook will teach you lots of specific sexual how-tos that will give youenormous confidence. Just remember, when you combine them with the Tantric attitude, voila,you’ll become every woman’s dream lover.Awakening The Sacred Gate includes expansive and exciting solo and partner practices toenable you to understand, first-hand (pun intended), the nature of Tantra and the experience ofTantric Sex. Before you’re done, you’ll know exactly how to find, excite, and create maximumpleasure from the G-Spot. You’ll know how to ejaculate if you’re female, or make your femalepartner’s waters flow regardless of your sexual preference.More importantly to students of Tantra, you’ll know how to interweave mind, body, andspirit to create powerful, ecstatic and long lasting sexual experiences, with or without sexualunion. (That’s one of our names for intercourse.) You’ll learn to muster your inner fire, couplesexual energy with physical touch, and exchange orgasmic magnetism with your beloved.By the way, everything here applies to women giving to women as well as men giving towomen. Except of course in the chapter devoted to maithuna, sexual intercourse. Everywhereelse, we’ve done our best to use language that honors whatever your sexual preference is.Kundalini To The RescueBefore going further, we should explain what we mean when we refer to a key target ofTantric Sex, Kundalini energy. There’s a dormant life force inside all of us that few tap into fully.When you’re turned-on sexually, you can feel this nervous stimulation and physical excitation,alive, bubbling, vibrating inside you. Even when you’re not, you can probably feel it tricklingand tickling inside.This is sexual energy, which most lovers feel most strongly right before orgasm. Sosometimes we call it orgasmic energy.Kundalini is the old Sanskrit name for this normally latent psychosexual power. The ancientspictured Kundalini like a coiled snake that lies sleeping at the base of the spine. Whenawakened through Tantric practice, Kundalini energy can ascend through the subtle body,creating powerful ecstatic experiences and heightened cosmic consciousness.Know how to do that for yourself, and exchange Kundalini with a partner and, virtually, thesky’s the limit.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 8Being a great lover is a learned art and science. If you grew up the way most of us did, youweren’t born into a society fully aware of this knowledge. Now you can enter the Sacred Gate ofSupreme Bliss. The path is great and wide.Welcome to expanded Tantric sexuality.Why Is It Important For You To Learn About Tantra?Tantra is the ancient art of transforming the Kundalini energy awakened by orgasm intospiritual connection and cosmic consciousness. Its roots are very old, as long as 7,000 years ago.Tantra shows us how to open fully to our sexual nature and, in the process, learn to love allof who we are. As we practice more ways to feel pleasure and consciously experience ourselvesas sexual beings, we’re able to more fully realize our spiritual nature. Sadly, we live in an antiecstaticsociety that doesn’t promote joy, pleasure, and ecstasy as worthwhile pursuits.Tantra says these are the only worthwhile pursuits.As part of your Tantric exploration into the depths of your sexuality, it is only natural thatyou explore the capacity of the Sacred Gate and the phenomenon of female ejaculation. Tantrasays be all you can be, experience everything, enjoy.Know yourself sexually, and the truth will set you free.We’ll fully explore the nature of Supreme Bliss Tantra so you’ll learn how to be the blissful,playful, energetic lover you were born to be. That’s a lover who has the desire and capacity tomake lovemaking last through multiple orgasms of multiple kinds, regardless of your sex.We’ll teach you ancient Tantric secrets about how to relax, awaken your senses, and useyour breath to increase your sexual pleasure. We’ll demonstrate how to move your body toenhance your orgasms. We’ll offer you everything you need to know, to practice, to experienceand to fly emotionally and spiritually on the wings of sexual bliss.Why We’re Qualified To Write This EbookJeffre and Somraj started Tantra At Tahoe in 1998 to teach lovers the ancient art and scienceof sacred sexuality. Our combined 53 years of teaching and counseling experience created thebackdrop to help singles and couples integrate the secrets of Supreme Bliss Tantra into theirlives. Our strong sexual appetites and willingness to experiment ourselves and with othersprovide the personal experience that allows us to write with conviction.Jeffre TallTrees, Ph.D. is a SkyDancing Tantra Teacher with over 30 years of clinicalpsychology experience specializing in relationships and human sexuality. Jeffre is co-author ofIntimacy: The Green Light for Red Hot Sex and A Lifetime Of Loving. She is a shaman, healer,counselor, workshop leader, columnist, artist, and avid skier whose advice is highly soughtafter.Somraj Pokras is the author of countless articles about Tantra, over 50 workshops, and 4books including the best-selling Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery. During his 30 year career as acounselor, group facilitator, and trainer, Somraj has guided more that 20,000 people to leadmore effective lives. Somraj is a private pilot, avid skier and mountain bike rider, websitedesigner, and worshipper of the Goddess.We derive great joy from assisting others to release their sexual inhibitions. By unblockingtheir pleasure, they learn to make lovemaking last and last and last. We live in the mountainparadise near Lake Tahoe, California with our two golden retrievers, Shiva and Shakti. OurTantric lifestyle allows the four of us to celebrate the beauty of nature during all seasons.With all the stress, disease, and unhappiness in today’s world, somebody has todemonstrate that it’s possible to enjoy life to the fullest. We’re making that our ecstatic lifepurpose. That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 9EXERCISE: Energy Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to journal, reflect on, or talk about…• Why do you think Tantra can help you?• How relaxed are you during sex?• How open do you feel you are to Kundalini energy?• When and where can you feel sexual or orgasmic energy in your body?1.3 Sexual History Section”Ultimately, your definition of sex or sexuality is limited only by your imagination andwillingness to explore.” —– from Intimacy: A Green Light For Red Hot Sex And ALifetime Of Loving by Jeffre TallTrees and Orv. FryThe Sacred GateThe G-Spot is a highly sensitive area on the front or upper wall of the yoni (Tantric forvagina). G-Spot a modern term, coined by Ladas, Whipple, & Perry in their 1982 book The GSpotAnd other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. They named it after Ernst GräfenbergM.D. who first wrote about this “new” orgasmic trigger in a scientific journal in 1950.By the way, Gräfenberg didn’t call it a spot and rightly so. It’s an area in different places indifferent women. And it moves.We call the G-Spot the Sacred Gate, partly because all of sex is sacred to a Tantrika (a Tantraadept) and partly because it truly is a doorway to profound love, deep emotional intimacy, andsexual ecstasy. The Sacred Gate contains the power to unleash hidden emotions, generate deeporgasms, and trigger ejaculation when aroused enough.Before you’re done reading this ebook and doing its many juicy practices, we can assure youthat you’ll be able to find and excite your beloved’s Sacred Gate. You’ll learn anatomy, massagestrokes, and more pathways to G-Spot orgasm than you can imagine.We expect that some of you have had negative experiences with G-Spot stimulation. Youmay have felt little, nothing, burning, or other discomfort. Let us assure you that, by followingour program to awaken your Sacred Gate, this will never be the case again.We should warn you that we use the terms G-Spot and Sacred Gate interchangeably.Hopefully that won’t confuse you.A Brief Sexual History LessonThough G-Spot is a modern term, undoubtedly the ancients were aware of the supersensitive parts inside yoni (vagina). They were certainly aware of one the Sacred Gate’s primarysexual functions, female ejaculation. There are references to the female expulsion of fluid withorgasm as early as Aristotle in ancient Greece. The Kama Sutra mentions in clearly. Shakespearecalled it “the water of my love.”It wasn’t until about 400 years ago that a Dutch anatomist, Regnier De Graaf, clearly definedthe glands and ducts that make up the Sacred Gate. He said they were analogous to the maleprostate. This started a scientific trend of referring to the G-Spot as the female prostate.In 1880 Alexander Skene, M.D., extensively studied and illustrated the glands and ducts thatcomprise the female prostate. To this day, some refer to this part of a woman’s anatomy asSkene’s glands. It wasn’t until 1953 that a urologist named Samuel Berkow concluded that thistissue was erectile.More current research beginning in the 80s concluded that the Skene’s glands are small,functional organs that produce female prostatic secretion and possess cells comparable to themale prostate.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 10When you feel the G-Spot, or Sacred Gate, you’re feeling these glands beneath the skin ofyoni’s upper wall.More Research, More ArgumentsAbout the turn of the 20th century, Freud was generating his own revolution about thenature of sexuality. He said there were two kinds of orgasm: clitoral and vaginal, or in Tantricterms clio and yoni. Freud convinced many that clio (clitoral) orgasms were immature.According to him, it took a real woman to have a yoni orgasm.In contrast, pioneering sex researchers, like Kinsey in the 50s and Masters & Johnson in the60s, believed that only clio was responsible for women’s orgasms. The good news was that thesefindings spurred vibrator-wielding feminists to teach women that they could develop theirorgasmic potential.The bad news was that, depending on who they listened to, many people ignored a valuablesource of female sexual pleasure. (Don’t worry, we’re not going to take sides in this silly debate.)Fortunately, the pendulum began to swing back in 1982 when the G-Spot book waspublished. Public consciousness, fueled by scientific research and growing comfort with thesexual revolution, opened to other orgasmic triggers.Make Love Not ControversyDon’t expect your family doctor, or even your OB/GYN to know very much about sex. Inmost medical schools, the training devoted to sexuality is either non-existent or minimal. A fewmedical schools increased their emphasis on sexuality in the 70s and 80s, but many of themhave cut back since then. So it’s no surprise that the controversies over the existence of the GSpot,different kinds of orgasms, and female ejaculation continue to this day in the medicalcommunity.It’s only been since the late 90s that medical research began to take seriously the notion thatwomen’s sexuality operates differently than men’s. At last, serious investigation is underwayinto the unique sexual anatomy and physiology of the female that will ultimately supportwomen in leading joyful sex lives. What you’ll read here is based on the most recent findings.Women Are Different, DuhWe understand the frustration of male-dominated sciences being unable to describe femalesexuality with simple linear models and reproducible formulas.The fundamental fact that keeps appearing in our reading, research, and client work is thateach woman is different. Although there are some general commonalties, each woman will haveher proclivities, her preferences, and her own kind of orgasms.Her pleasure, her sensitivity, and her climaxes will differ based on factors within andwithout: her mood, her hormones, her level of arousal, her connection to her partner, heropenness to passion, and her acceptance of her own sexuality.Those of us who honor the Goddess and specialize in the study and practice of sex knowwithout a doubt that the Sacred Gate exists. As does clio. It doesn’t take an expert to prove thatthey both can help you explode with passion if you want.Never fear, your G-Spot is alive and well and living inside. When you discover exactly whatit wants, it can shower you and your lover with delicious peaks of pleasure and sweet femaleejaculate.Thank the Goddess for big favors.EXERCISE: History Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to journal, reflect on, or talk about…Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 11• What kind of values did your family hold about sex?• What role do you feel sexuality plays in a healthy life?• What kinds of sexual repression have you personally experienced?Yes, Female Ejaculation Is On The MapAs our title suggests, female ejaculation is another of our primary objectives here. We’regoing to prove to you that it’s quite common, feels wonderful, is great to learn, and doesn’trelease urine.In fact, Jeffre had to talk Somraj out of using “tastes great, less filling” here.Female ejaculation sounds a little bit clinical, doesn’t it? We like to keep things simple, butsometimes we just have to use terms that turn us on more. So we often refer to ejaculating as”letting the waters flow,” and call female ejaculate fluid amrita. Amrita actually meanssomething like “divine nectar of the Goddess.”Now, isn’t that just more exotic and erotic?A significant percentage of women already know they gush, squirt, or dribble amrita whenthey orgasm. Some researchers theorize that all women ejaculate when they orgasm, althoughfor some this may only be a few drops.Some women ejaculate only with G-Spot stimulation. Others may ejaculate with eitherSacred Gate stimulation or clio stimulation. Some let loose only when both are stimulated.You’ll certainly want to play with them all.Women, which one of these do you think would do the trick for you?Before you’re done, you’ll believe it, want it, and know what to do about it. We’re convincedthat any Goddess can learn if she wants to. Yes, we’re talking about you, dear.EXERCISE: Ejaculation Readiness ChecklistDescriptionAbove all else, this is book about practicing sacred sex. Though there aren’t any reallyjuicy sexual practices that fit in to this introductory chapter, there is a really valuableexercise you should go through right now.We’ve compiled a short checklist for you to fill out so you can find out how ready youare to let your feminine waters flow. Though it’s written in the first person, partners canreplace “I” with “she” and “my” with “her” to rate their beloved’s readiness to ejaculate.For women, ejaculation is the culmination of everything you’ll learn in AwakeningThe Sacred Gate. You can use this checklist as you progress through it to gauge yourprogress. To assist that, we’ve indicated which chapters will help you raise your score oneach question.Rating ScaleTo complete the quiz, read each statement, close your eyes, take a deep breath, andfeel how much it applies to you. Then score each sentence from 0 to 5 using this ratingscale…5 completely describes me all the time.4 mostly describes me.3 sometimes describes me.2 only applies to me a little.1 most often doesn’t apply to me.0 doesn’t apply to me at all or I don’t know if it does.QuestionsAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 121. I love sex and am entirely Proud of it. (Chapter 2)2. My attitude is completely Sex Positive. (Chapters 2 & 7)3. My Mind helps me get totally aroused and romantically engaged. (Chapters 3 & 7)4. I feel safe and Trust my lover, even when that’s me. (Chapter 4)5. I desire to share pleasure and love in my healthy Relationship, even when that’swith myself. (Chapter 4)6. I Talk freely and openly about sex. (Chapter 4)7. I can Relax thoroughly during states of high arousal. (Chapter 3)8. I totally love and accept my Body and all it’s parts and fluids. (Chapter 4)9. I know all the trigger points that give me the best Turn-On. (Chapter 5)10. My tissues and erogenous zones are free and Supple. (Chapter 7)11. The Sexual Muscles in my pelvis are strong when I need them and relaxedotherwise. (Chapter 3)12. I love Clio and know exactly how to please her. (Chapter 5)13. I know exactly where my G-Spot is. (Chapter 6)14. I know exactly how to give my G-Spot maximum Pleasure. (Chapters 6 & 9)15. I know how to Guide a partner to give me maximum pleasure. (Chapter 8)16. I show I’m Excited by moving, breathing, making sounds, and expressingemotions. (Chapter 3)17. I can easily and reliably Orgasm. (Chapter 8)18. I have Multiple, extended, continuous full-body orgasms. (Chapter 8)19. I know how to relax, Let Go, and push out to ejaculate. (Chapter 10)20. I want to Shower myself and my beloved with my divine nectar. (Chapter 10)ScoringTotal your scores with a maximum possible 100. If your total is…Above 80 You’re ready to go for it.Between 60 and 80 You’re close.Between 40 and 60 You’ve got some work to do.If your score is below 40, you’ll want to take every practice in this ebook reallyseriously, using them to create a long-term program. The good news is that you have somuch great fun and juicy pleasure awaiting you. We envy you all the growth and selfdiscoveryahead. You can expand your sexuality, we’re sure of that.So what are you waiting for?Male G-SpotWe don’t for a minute want to perpetuate the perceived inequity of the sexes. In Tantra,everything is a merger of male and female energies. Both exchange, interact, and interchangeroles to create a balanced partnership. Which is why our bonus chapter focuses on the male GSpot,known in scientific circles as the male prostate.Both genders will undoubtedly want to better understand men’s other powerful orgasmictrigger – the one inside, not the one hanging between his legs. If you’re a man, it’s time to getexcited about the incredible new sensations ahead. If you’re a woman, you’ll want to learn howto do your man the way this ebook will teach him to do you.The male prostate is the seat of divine, long-lasting, powerful orgasms for the man, withoutejaculation and sometimes even without a hard-on. Oh, my, doesn’t that sound like a differentexperience?Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 13Ironic, isn’t it, that highly sexual Tantric women routinely ejaculate when they choose, whilehighly trained Tantric men rarely ejaculate. We like to call this the ultimate Tantric paradox.EXERCISE: Sacred Gate Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to journal, reflect on, or talk about…• Do you know how to find and excite your or your partner’s Sacred Gate?• Are you or your partner more easily orgasmic from clio or yoni play?• Have you or a female partner ever ejaculated?1.4 Chapters Overview SectionHow To Read This EbookLike most books, we arranged this volume in order. Later stuff builds on earlier stuff.Orgasms and ejaculation depend on understanding the different kinds of massage and sexualstrokes. Stroking depends on understanding anatomy. Making the most of any turn-on dependson learning the Tantric art of channeling Kundalini energy. The further you get in this ebook,the more we’ll be referring to earlier concepts and skills.Tantra honors spontaneity. If you’re anything like us, you’ll be sorely tempted to skip aheadto the good stuff right away. Since we honor that, we’ve tried to accommodate you as best wecan.Remember that the practices spread throughout each chapter contain the core of what you’lllearn. More than concepts, the later skills you want to develop definitely depend on previousones. So if you do jump around, we can’t promise it will work for action learning.As a fallback, here’s a little overview of each chapter. If you get lost somewhere along theway, come back here and use this orientation to decide what you missed.Tantric TermsHave you already noticed that we like to use Tantric terms instead of the “normal” words forsexual parts and actions?Somehow, medical terms or slang expressions don’t create the Tantric mood and approachthat makes sex sacred. We’ll be interchanging Tantric terms to encourage you to get out of yourold preconceptions and more into the merger of sex with spirit. That’s why we really encourageyou to read Chapter 2 next, Sacred Tantric Sexuality.Just in case you do skip around, we’ll redefine our special words occasionally. If you getconfused, there’s a complete glossary at the end.Here’s a short listing of the main ones to help you get familiar…Amrita = Female ejaculate, nectar of the gods.Jewels = GenitalsKundalini = Sexual or orgasmic energyMaithuna = Sexual intercourse, sacred unionSacred Gate = G-SpotSacred Union = Sexual intercourseVajra = PenisYoni = Vagina/VulvaBefore we forget, Tantra views everyone as a reflection of divine powers. Often you’ll findus referring to the fair sex as the Goddess.Chapter OverviewAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 14Here is a little bit about each chapter of Awakening The Sacred Gate. Since you’re nearlydone with the Introduction Chapter, do we have to explain what’s in it?Sacred Tantric Sexuality ChapterThe Sacred Tantric Sexuality Chapter gets more specific about enhancing your Tantric skillsand beginning to weave the magic. It explains how to use sexual pleasure as a spiritual force.Creating attitude, mood, and intention to reach untold heights of ecstasy starts here. Read thischapter to understand the dance between male and female energies and forever after approachloveplay with reverence, awe, and excitement.Kundalini Energy ChapterThe Kundalini Energy Chapter introduces you to a subtle force inside you that can sweepyou away like nothing else. We call it orgasmic energy and it’s the key to Tantric energyorgasms. To harness this power, you’ll learn how to use the four cornerstones of Supreme Blissand build the sexual muscles that regulate your orgasms and your ejaculations. When you’vemastered these simple skills, you can turn the slightest arousal into the most satisfyingexplosion you’ve ever had.Tantric LovePlay ChapterAny kind of intimacy can be so exciting that we like to use the word loveplay instead offoreplay. Did you know that Tantrikas are capable of having ecstatic experiences and powerfulorgasms from subtle touch, breathing, or even fantasy? Well, they can. We don’t like toperpetuate the common pattern of rushing through arousal to the good stuff: intercourse(followed by sleep).It’s certainly true that turn-on is essential to Sacred Gate Orgasm and female ejaculation,whatever way you seek them. Which is why our Tantric LovePlay Chapter will help you gethot, ready, and in the mood for incredible new experiences. It includes tips on sensual massage,intimacy, and some very special titillating treats from the Kama Sutra.Sacred Landscape ChapterThe Sacred Landscape Chapter could be titled anatomy, but we’re going to look under thehood for more than just flesh and bones. What are the sensitive parts of yoni? How do they fittogether? Where is the G-Spot? With the fun practices in this chapter, you’ll really enjoydiscovering your own or your partner’s hidden secrets. When you’re done, you’ll be able tonavigate the feminine geography with insight, confidence, and respect.Sacred Gate Massage ChapterIt’s one thing to find a woman’s Sacred Gate and another for her to thoroughly enjoy it beingplaying with. The Sacred Gate Massage Chapter will teach you the four basic strokes insideyoni and umpteen variations. When you’re in the thick of it, you’ll really appreciate our learningphilosophy: practice, practice, practice. Whether you’re giving or receiving, we bet that you’llreally enjoy exercising your sexual potential here.Yoni Healing ChapterIf your energy channels are so wide open that you can make yourself orgasm simply withyour mind, Tantric sexual healing may not be essential for you. For the rest of us who’veaccumulated lots of emotional and psychological baggage around sex, here’s a great chance toclean house. The Yoni Healing Chapter demonstrates how we all store issues in our tissues andwhat to do to release them from yoni. It feels great to use pleasure to direct Kundalini as aAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 15cleansing and revitalizing force. Inhibitions, wounds, traumas be gone! Make way for supremeecstasy.Ecstatic States ChapterEcstasy is intense joy, delight, and elated bliss. It’s an extraordinary elevation of the spirit byoverwhelming emotion so intense that you’re carried away beyond the reach of rationalthoughts and ordinary impressions. That’s the promise and reality of Sacred Gate Orgasm forthose who travel this sacred path.The Ecstatic States Chapter breaks down the orgasmic experience into its components soyou can learn to dance and cavort at new levels of excitement and awareness. You’ll learn aboutclio orgasms, G-Spot orgasms, blended orgasms, and how they merge with Tantric energyorgasms. We’ll show you how to have a single one, multiple ones, and really really long ones.In this chapter you’ll find specific practices that enable you to play in the O-Zone for hours.The O-Zone is the high plateau of ecstasy we call the Orgasm Zone. When you reach it, you’llfloat continuously with intense, multiple, and extended full-body mind-blowing orgasms. Yourmind will drift and your body will feel weightless, as if you and the universe were one.Kama Sutra Sex Positions ChapterThe Kama Sutra is a fascinating compilation of earlier works about the social customs andsexual techniques in the upper classes of India around the turn of the common era. In spite of itslimitations, it offers frank advice about sexual union, especially the fit of vajras (penises) inyonis (vaginas). It graphically explains why size doesn’t matter so much when you know howto adjust for jewel (genital) fit to make just about any penetration ecstatic. The Kama Sutradidn’t include Tantric methods of creating Supreme Bliss regardless of anatomy. Our KamaSutra Sex Positions Chapter combines its detailed classification of lovemaking postures withsacred sexuality for the most intense G-Spot pleasure.Female Ejaculation ChapterIn the Female Ejaculation Chapter, we’ll explore the nature of amrita (female ejaculate),where it comes from, what it looks like, how it tastes, how you make it flow, and how you canget someone else to help you gush. We’ll need to start by getting you to honor the Goddess’snectar and look forward to being showered. This may be one of the most graphic step-by-steptraining manuals you’ll ever see. It includes using fingers, sex toys, and vajras.Male G-Spot Bonus ChapterYour free bonus included in this ebook, the Male G-Spot Chapter, really digs in to the maleprostate (pun intended) and why it’s so orgasmic for men who’ve been trained to enjoy it. Menand their partners will learn how to find, approach, and excite it from outside and inside.Although it may sound strange initially, the pleasure you can experience makes it well worthfacing your fears and prejudices and just going for it. Imagine having Kundalini energy surgingthrough your body for long periods of time, rivaling the best ejaculatory orgasm you’ve everhad. For sure, there’s a learning process that the practices of this chapter lay out in detail.Ultimately, many men favor these kinds of orgasms over the conventional kind.Conclusion ChapterWe wrap up with a juicy story that leads you through what you’ve learned in explicit detail.Sacred sex is a perpetual journey so we’ll give you some ideas about how to continue on thepath to higher and higher bliss. This final chapter also includes our complete glossary,recommended reading list for further study, and music suggestions. We’ve also collected theAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 16sex toys and other products we’ve recommended and where to get more information and buythem.EXERCISE: Chapters Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to journal, reflect on, or talk about…• Which chapters interest you most?• Will you move through them in order or where will you go first?• Which practices sound like they will most benefit you?• When and how will you make time to practice regularly?1.5 Closing Section”The Tantric way is open to all the richness of human nature, which it accepts without a singlerestriction. It is probably the only spiritual path that excludes nothing and no one, and, in this way, itcorresponds to the deep aspirations of men and women today.” —– Daniel Odier in Tantric Quest:An Encounter with Absolute LoveBe A Confident LoverTantra says yes to all that you are. We say yes to your desire to be a playful, confident,spontaneous, satisfying lover. We want you to feel pleasure with all aspects of lovemaking. Wewant you to know what to do to experience ecstasy inside as well as help your partner get there.We want you to be able to flow and respond lovingly with whatever you may encounter withinyourself and with your partner.This ebook can help you get there.The information is this ebook will give you the confidence to be a better lover. Being a good,or even a great lover, demands an attitude of openness, a desire to learn, the ability tocommunicate, and the knowledge of what it is you’re doing. Although none of what you’reabout to learn is difficult, it does require dedicated practice.Pictures are great. Words are priceless. But without practice you probably won’t gain theconfidence necessary.Whether you’re the giver or the receiver, male or female, the more you practice with timelyhelpful feedback, the faster and better you’ll learn. This is all part of Tantra’s main theme ofraising consciousness in areas normally ruled by shame, fear, and guilt.What’s Unique About All This?We’ve read a host of detailed books about sex, bodies, and sexual techniques, some helpful,some fantastic, some inaccurate, and some out-of-date. Now that science and medicine arebecoming more willing to investigate sexuality, especially the long-ignored arena of femalesexuality, the picture has changed. We understand more about what’s really going on inside thehuman body.We’ve studied, taken lots of inspirational workshops, and practiced extensively toencourage spirit to move within us. This continuing work-in-progress has transformed our livesdramatically.The promise of sacred sexuality is the merger of both. In our experience, few resourcesbridge the gap between sex and spirit enough. So we wrote Awakening The Sacred Gate to fusethe two ecstatically for you.Sure, it’s about how to give and get better orgasms than you ever imagined. Yes, it’s aboutrevering sex as sacred, using its power to connect and heal, and learning to surrender joyouslywith total abandon.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 17We do all that by integrating ancient spiritual attitudes and Tantric practices with modernawareness of sexuality. Yes, if we do say, we teach technique better than anything we’ve seen.Most important, we present more than technique, more than doing your honey.Make The Most Of Divine PlayHere you’ll learn how to enjoy Tantric Sex as a true partnership, where neither of you ispassive, where you both give and receive simultaneously. Awakening The Sacred Gate is reallyabout reaching a spiritual state of intimate communion through divine sexual play.When you master what follows, you’ll be able to combine intense stimulation of orgasmictriggers from the outside with powerful energy expansion inside. Far more than the delightfulexplosion of orgasm, you will ascend to the Orgasm Zone of Supreme Bliss.Life is a journey. We want you to live it fully. Your body is your temple, your soul connectsyou to the universe. You have all the tools within you. We offer you the information necessaryto achieve new heights of ecstasy and pleasure which is your birthright. All you have to do isplay with them.We look forward to meeting you up there.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 18Chapter 2: Sacred Tantric Sexuality”Tantra is a cult of ecstasy, a personal religion based on the mystical experience of joy rather thanestablished dogma. It is worship; it is energizing and life-giving Tantric art, writings, andreligious rituals glorify sex. Tantrics are anti-ascetic; they affirm life. They teach the discovery ofthe divine through the exhaltation of the total human. They use all of the senses, the mind and thespirit to reach mystic peaks.”—- Kamala Devi in The Eastern Way of Love2.1 Opening SectionPurposesThe purposes of this chapter are to…• Understand the pivotal role pleasure plays in life.• Learn how Tantric Sex is different.• Give you some basic tools of sacred sexuality.Tantra Says “Yes!”• Do you want to be engulfed hour after hour by ecstatic orgasmic vibrations?• Do you want to completely submerge in love-bliss with your beloved?• Do you want to float on a cloud of peak prolonged pleasure?• Do you want to transform your mood, emotions, and stress level into vibrant serenity?Enduring delight?If you answered “yes, Yes, YES!”, then you have some magical transformation to lookforward to with Supreme Bliss Tantra.We figure most of you bought this ebook to learn about unleashing the amazing power ofthe G-Spot to create wet and screaming orgasms. We will teach you world-class massagestrokes, sex positions, and female ejaculation in later chapters.Recognize that we can’t guarantee cosmic mind-blowing orgasms or life-altering personaltransformation from sexual techniques alone. You need the power of the ancient secrets ofTantra for that. What truly makes this ebook unique is the integration of Tantric practices withthe latest information on G-Spot massage, orgasms, and female ejaculation.Why Read This ChapterTantra is the ancient Eastern spiritual practice of sacred sexuality. It focuses on the pleasurewe create by merging male and female energies. It’s a unique attitude towards sex, love, and allof life itself.The purpose of this chapter is to explain what Tantra is, why you should care, and howTantric Sex can supercharge your love life so much more than by just diddling the right partswith the right strokes.As much as you want to skip ahead to the “good stuff,” we urge you to read this chapterabout opening your sexuality to whole new dimensions. Your spirit is where the true power ofsexual satisfaction lies. You and your sex life will truly never be the same.Welcome to our approach to sacred sexuality that we call Supreme Bliss Tantra.2.2 Tantra SectionAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 19″Tantra does not require “believing in” something, or even “agreeing with” anything. There isnothing to accept on blind faith. The validity of Tantric teachings and practices lies in our ownexperience, our own inner process. We don’t have to take anyone’s word for anything. No one isasking us to believe anything. There is no dogma. The only way we can truly practice Tantra is togive up our concepts of what we think is happening and see what is actually happening. Throughthe process of Kundalini awakening we open up to inner or intuitive knowledge. The Shaktistimulates insights and breakthroughs. We practice Tantra and relate these practices to our dayto-day life. We become more fulfilled and powerful.” —– Gurumayi ChidvilasanandaSupreme Bliss TantraSupreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy that transforms Kundalini, or orgasmic energy,into expanded consciousness. Tantra believes that all energy is life force energy.Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancientEastern spiritual path that uses Kundalini energy practices to…• deepen love, intimacy and ecstasy• extend lovemaking, and• create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being,and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…• heals your mind, body, and spirit,• connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and• immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to reach cosmic peaks ofpleasure making life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.Wow! Can you see why we’re so jazzed about it?Ancient Tradition Without FearThe word Tantra comes from the roots “to expand, extend, and weave.” Tantrikas, adepts atTantric practice, extend their awareness, heighten their sensitivity, expand their consciousness,and weave all the energies of life together to affirm joyous living.Tantra emerged thousands of years ago in India, moving to China and Tibet as a grass-rootsrebellion against the repressive hierarchical religions of the day. Back then, to even reach forenlightenment required lifetimes of denying desire and doing penance for past-life karma.Tantra opened the doors of spiritual evolution to everyone, regardless of their social status.If you’re worried about what you’re getting yourself into, don’t. Tantra isn’t a religion basedon faith, dogma, or right living. You don’t have to join, carry a card, cut your hair, or wearrobes.Since it’s not really a philosophy, it has no rules, qualifications, or requirements. There’s nocode of behavior, no punishment for sin, and no pot of gold waiting for you in the afterlife atthe end of the rainbow.If you’re seeking inner peace, higher consciousness, a more fulfilling sex life with a newpartner, or rekindling the earlier fire with a longtime mate, the erotic sacred wisdom of Indiaand other Eastern cultures can help.East Meets WestIn the modern West, we stress the power of knowledge and thought. What you knowdetermines what you can do. You measure success through work hard, accumulation materialwealth, and caring for your relationship and family.You reap physical pleasures, moments of happiness, and a high quality of living.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 20In the traditional East, the quality of inner life — not the process of living — was moreimportant. Inner peace free from raging mind chatter was and is most important. Inner stillnessfree from the ravages of the pursuit of success and the fear of failure. Inner harmony free fromrelationship ups and downs by loving yourself most.You reap Supreme Bliss by experiencing joy in every breath, every tree, every flower, everymoment.Tantra is the bridge between the East and West — the path to the joy of the soul through fullawareness of the physical world. By learning to make love consciously, fully, spiritually, youtranscend the outer school of hard knocks and grow into total acceptance of your inner selfwhile living in the world.In Tantra, sacred sex is a path, not an end.Tantra Means Let It BeBeing a spiritual art and practice, Tantra is primarily a way of life leading to deepermeaning and enlightenment. It guides you to harness the raw power of love and sex to fuelhigher consciousness and promote personal transformation.Tantrikas welcome all aspects of life, whether frowned upon by society or not. Adepts exultin living each moment completely, and practice pleasure as a high-priority discipline.Sophisticated lovemaking skills are revered as an alchemical science and creative art form.Instead of viewing sex as dirty, low, or base, the original Tantras viewed the energy youexperience during sex as a powerful, creative, healing, and even divine force.Since many of us have repressed sexual urges, feelings, and thoughts, when we harness ourinnate sexuality, it becomes a powerful force, an accelerated doorway to personal growth andchange.Without d**gs, Tantrikas deliberately induce altered states of ecstasy to create mysticalexperiences of transcendental oneness with the universe. We figure, why not enjoy ourselveswhile evolving?Tantra says if we suppress the inner forces stemming from our natural self, they won’tdisappear. They’ll just fester and manifest in our lives in an unhealthy manner.We don’t fight, resist, or reject anything.Personal suppression can only produce mental warfare and internal stress. We release allstress as a useless struggle with no winners, only losers. We let go of the futile attempt to stopthings that are happening from happening.Maybe that’s what Paul McCartney was singing about in “Let It Be.”EXERCISE: Beliefs Discussion QuestionsThis is a good time to write in your journal, talk to a friend, or discuss the following withyour partner on the following topics…• What are your beliefs about sex? Good, bad, etc.• What do you like most and least about sex?• What about sex do you disapprove of?• What about sex do you fear?If you don’t come up with an answer at first, please dig deeper. The more you know aboutyourself, the more likely your sex life will expand and be terrific all your life.Raise ConsciousnessRaising consciousness is the heart and soul of Tantra.So many people are swept through life looking at pictures in the mind instead of living withfull awareness of each moment. They spend their time and energy dwelling on the past, plottingAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 21the future, and comparing the current state of affairs to a set of pre-recorded subconscioustapes.To counteract the programming that keeps us distracted and to quiet compulsive left-brainthinking, Tantra teaches us to focus our attention on the present.Tantra shows us how to exist in this moment, become totally absorbed in the “now,” andopen our inner windows to the world fully. This activates our right brain that contributes to apresence more deeply rooted in spirit.We do this by heightening our five senses — sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. Webecome dedicated to enjoying the physical fully by reveling in eating, drinking, massaging,dancing, and making love.We learn to live in harmony with whatever life serves up, whether on a silver platter or bedof thorns. That’s partly why Tantrikas major in surrender — just letting things happen of theirown accord without resistance.This whole approach to life suggests we should just give up goal orientation, enter eachexperience without expectations, and just live fully in each moment.PRACTICE: Sitting MeditationDescriptionTantra aims to raise consciousness. It’s not a philosophy but a collection of spiritualand sexual practices. A logical question, then, is how can you practice raisingconsciousness?Soon we’ll show you how to this with sex. For sex to be sacred, transformative, andawesome, you must approach it with the right attitude. That attitude is meditation.Which is a great way to practice consciousness.Meditation is simply sitting and emptying the mind. It’s not an essential prerequisitefor joyous Sacred Gate massage, but it sure helps when you enter yoni with the rightattitude. We describe it here for you to experiment with.Since you can’t force thoughts away, emptying the mind is more challenging than itsounds. Gurus have developed many meditation techniques down through the ages thatcan help you quiet the inner talk and enter a “no mind” condition. We’ve tried many ofthem and they all seek to create a deep inner peace filled with stillness.PurposeSitting Meditation just guides you to watch your breath. The simple relaxationmethod is good preparation for what’s coming, because conscious breathing is one of theTantric skills used in the sexual practices that follow.1. SPACEMake some free time in a quiet uninterrupted space. You can do this next to a partner,but, since it’s a personal private inner experience, it’s not essential. Yes, you have to turnoff your phone, answering machine, pager, and TV. Be brave, let go of the remote forjust a few moments.2. SITSit in a comfortable position. The classic posture is the lotus position with one legcrossed over the other. We can’t get all the way there, and it may not be easy for youeither. Get as close as you can to this posturing, insuring that you sit upright at least. Agreat aid is a “zafu,” a round Japanese meditation pillow that’s firm and shaped like a fatAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 22pancake. It helps you keep your pelvis higher than your semi-crossed legs. You can alsomeditate sitting straight in a comfortable chair or sofa.3. BEMeditation is not doing anything — it’s simply being. So don’t set any goals orpreconceptions of what’s going to happen. Just sit for a moment and relax.4. WITNESSAs you settle in to a comfortable state, you’ll undoubtedly discover that your mind isbusy. Don’t do anything about it, just let it happen. Witness ideas floating by like cloudsin a brisk wind.5. WATCH YOUR BREATHTo quiet the mind without force, watch your breath coming in and out. Don’t changeyour breathing consciously, just pay attention to it entering your nostrils, flowing intoyour lungs, and out again.6. COME BACKYou’ll probably find your concentration wandering away from your breath. Don’tbeat yourself up, this is natural. When you realize you’ve strayed, just come back towatching your breath.7. A FEW MINUTESGurus advise sitting like this for 15 minutes morning and afternoon. Since youshouldn’t be watching the clock, we’re not sure how you time it. We usually just remainstill until we relax and the mind settles.AfterthoughtsOur primary concern here with how meditation helps prepare you for ecstatic sacredsex and Tantric Orgasm. All we can say is that tension impedes the process andrelaxation is vital for long lasting supreme experiences. It also helps you practicefocusing, an important skill in Tantric lovemaking.As well, if you incorporate regular meditation into your life, you’ll find that it’s agreat way to relieve stress, release tension, and relax. One essential requirement forecstasy is “relaxation in high states of arousal.”2.3 Pleasure Section“Pleasure… is a safer guide than either right or duty.” —– Samuel Butler.Pleasure FirstTantrikas believe in enjoying life to the fullest. We employ the bedrock of sacred sexualdiscipline: practicing pleasure.Tantra is the true art of living where pleasure NOW becomes the central driving force ineach moment.A central part of this discipline is to increase our capacity to enjoy. We begin to cultivategood feelings by fully opening our senses and flooding them with stimuli. We learn to acceptmore and more sensation and value it highly. We continue by savoring the excitement it brings.This isn’t as easy as it sounds. It requires more than just reserving playtime in our stuffedcalendars. We’ve got to learn to pursue, cultivate, and surrender to ecstasy with gusto.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 23Just when we start feeling good, many of us resist. We’re conditioned to believe we’re beingselfish, having too much fun, or don’t deserve it. We’ve got to unlearn the guilt and resistancethat’s bred into us.You may be asking, isn’t that simply being self centered? Hedonistic? What about love andrelationship? Our focus on pleasure and joy is always toned with consciousness. Because weknow ourselves, we aren’t ruled by our u*********s, we act with highest regard for ourselves,our beloved, and others.Unless we’re centered in our own being, we’ve not fully present to give love, compassion,and service.Deferred Gratification Be Damned!The dictionary defines pleasure as…”A source of enjoyment or delight.””Sensual gratification or indulgence.”You realize that Tantra is a spiritual path creating higher states of consciousness, right? Webelieve that simply being happy is a more evolved state. Tantra teaches us to evolve byheightening our senses and indulging in the gratification they bring us. That’s why sexuality issuch a powerful training tool in Tantra. It returns us to our natural condition of simply beingcontent and fulfilled.In Tantra we say that pleasure is central, or in other words…Nothing is more important than feeling good.Our modern lives revolve so much around deferred gratification. Work for 40 years andthen you can enjoy life. When the k**s grow up, then you’ll revive your sex life. No time to relaxnow — wait until next summer’s vacation. But in the final analysis, why do you do anything ifyou don’t believe it will make you feel better eventually? Why wait?Extract Every Ounce Of PleasureThe Tantric approach shifts the focus of feeling good to the here and now. Tantra teaches ushow to extract every ounce of joy from the present moment and use that joy to guide our life.Sacred sexuality is all about being in the moment, relaxing, opening your senses, andsurrendering to subtle waves of pleasure energy that become more and more resounding as youwelcome them.In Somraj’s Tantric ebook for men and the women who love them, Ultimate EjaculationMastery: The Ultimate Ecstatic Solution To Premature Ejaculation, he writes…”To become pleasure-centered, you need to heighten your sensate focus. That means tuning in toall your senses: taste, touch, sight, sound, and smell. If you become more sensitive to everythingthat’s happening all around and all over your body, you can distribute that delicious energy.”Win The Pleasure War InsideBeing pleasure-focused is really criticized in normal society. Just try making feeling goodthe center of your universe for one day and see what happens. You’ve got your work ethic touphold, your religious taboos to honor, your prohibitions against being selfish to monitor.Better not appreciate someone else’s physical beauty in business or you’ll be accused of sexualharassment. Often these social injunctions create mental blocks and even get stored in yourbody, resisting any attempts to enjoy yourself.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 24As a result, we all have our limits to how much pleasure we can accept. If you’re a seriousworkaholic or a conditioned fundamentalist, you may find that, instead of simply relaxing intofeeling good, your mind floods with thoughts of being undeserving, doing something wrong, orinstead giving to others. These are just some of the mind games that try to talk us out ofpleasure.EXERCISE: Resistance Discussion QuestionsThe next time you feel strong pleasure, be extra conscious of your thoughts and reactions.Whether you’re enjoying playing with a c***d, watching a sunset, or engaging in exciting sexualplay, watch what happens inside. Ask yourself…• Are any of my thoughts resisting the delight I’m experiencing?• Am I feeling any uncomfortable sensations in my body?• Do I have any urges to tense up or shift out of what’s making me feel good?PRACTICE: Putting Pleasure FirstDescriptionDo you accept that nothing is more important than feeling good? That pleasure is adivine gift you we’re meant to enjoy? That anything we do, we do because ultimately itbrings us satisfaction?Tantrikas put pleasure first. We don’t wait until we have earned it. Deferredgratification has little part in our way of life. We believe that our basic nature is one ofjoy, bliss, and ecstasy. As we become truly evolved, we become truly happy. That’s whysex is such a large part of Tantric practice. It’s training camp for being a fully realizedenlightened being.Want to experience stronger ecstasy and deeper intimacy? Then practice expandingyour capacity for pleasure. Learn to relax and surrender more. Learn to open yoursenses and heighten your sensitivity. Learn to absorb, channel, and recirculate orgasmicenergy. Learn to reach higher and higher peaks of ecstasy and wave after wave of bliss.PurposeIf you agree with this, here’s your chance to test if you’re practicing what you’repreaching.1. LIST PLEASURESIf you’ve started a Sexual Exploration Journal, use it for this practice. Otherwise, get asmall notebook that you can keep with you. On a new page, list everything that bringsyou pleasure. Include the favorite parts of your current life, past peak moments, andfantasies you get excited just thinking about. Travel, family, work, sex, art, sports, music– don’t leave anything out.2. PRIORITIZE PLEASURESOn a new page, organize your pleasures in order from most to least. Forget aboutpracticality here, just focus on what gets your juices flowing and what doesn’t.3. TRACK YOUR TIMEOn the top of the next page in your notebook, write today’s date. Keep track of howyou spend your time. List your major activities every hour or quarter hour includingsleeping, eating, etc. Don’t just list general terms like “work” or “family” but break downyour activities specifically enough so that you can compare your enjoyment of differentthings. Do this for at least a typical week.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 254. TOTAL YOUR TIMEAfter a week or more, add up where you spend your life’s time. sleep will probablybe the largest single chunk. On a new page, list your activities in descending order oftime devoted to them.5. COMPARECompare your top pleasure priorities with your top time blocks. Do you spend yourtime in places and with people that bring you pleasure? Which pleasures do you maketime for? Which ones do you ignore? Which ones are you waiting for?6. CHANGEOur point is only for you to realize the ways you are taking time for what you enjoyand the ways you are not. This is the focus that’s essential for Tantric Sex, to be fullyengaged in pleasure. Of course, if you want to completely reorganize your life aroundyour findings, be our guest. No extra charge.Tantric Healing Is Sexual HealingPutting pleasure first is a major challenge with arguably the most repressed aspect ofmodern Western life. Yes, sex.Engaging in uninhibited sex requires growth from all of us who’ve grown up in the modernworld. We carry more moralizing, shame, guilt, and anxiety into the bedroom than anywhereelse in our lives.Tantra wasn’t designed as therapy for our sexual hang-ups and limitations, it just sometimesturns out that way. When we relax, exercise our erogenous zones, and enjoy our bodies, weoften run into the old baggage that blocks our joy and excitement. We discover that old pains,wounds, and trauma are stored in our tissues.Instead of focusing on problems, Tantric practice heals purely through the committedpursuit of pleasure. By opening our energy channels, we work through any resistance thatsurfaces.We heal our wounds, lose our inhibitions, and release our inner blocks by seeking higherand higher states of ecstasy. We’re left cleansed, relaxed, and free.If we can become fully natural and spontaneous with sensual play, then we can probably doit with any of life’s forces.Craving TouchAll of us crave touch. Don’t you?In this era of high-visibility public campaigns against sexual harassment and c***d abuse,few of us get enough physical contact with others. In our too-busy high-stress lives, thatprobably extends to our newborns and loved ones all too often.We’re strong believers in the healing power of touch. It’s a simple blessing, even withoutprofessional training. We recommend frequent the****utic massage for everyone. You know,the kind that’s designed to relax without sexual intent.Why does touch feel so wonderful? Is it because feeling a soft loving presence on your skinopens your nervous and circulatory channels? Is it because it opens your energeticcommunication channels to the temple that houses your divine spirit? Or is it because we storeour emotional issues in our tissues and massage helps release the unwanted negative energy?G-Spot HealingWe say yes to all of these reasons. Just consider another vital question? What parts of yourbody need tender loving care but rarely get touched without an agenda?Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 26Yes, your jewels (genitals in Supreme Bliss Tantra).With all the confusion, wounding, and bad experiences the average person experiencesduring life, it’s no wonder so many of us end up with inhibitions against physical pleasure andrelaxation.One of the most powerful ways to heal these sexual issues in your jewel’s tissues is throughgentle healing touch of your innermost sensitive spots, the G-Spot (Sacred Gate) foremostamongst them. We’ve personally seen the profound releasing that can happen with healingmassage of the Sacred Gate for both men and women. The literature is ripe with story afterstory of tremendous sexual opening and transformation this way.We encourage you to read on, drop you agendas about instant fireworks, and commit togradually explore your hidden recesses. With pleasure as your goal, you may experienceamazing Tantric Orgasms right away. Or you may need to slowly release tension from thoseplaces least loved through touch. Either way, the journey is a delight and the destination, anirvana of Supreme Bliss.Be sure to read the chapter on Yoni Healing. There, women will learn the approach, theattitude, and the techniques for greater opening to pleasure. The Male G-Spot Bonus Chapteraddress sexual healing for men, as well.EXERCISE: Healing Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about…• How have you been pressured to be sexual in a way that was against your will at thetime?• How have you been wounded sexually?• What erogenous zones are sensitive or painful? Always or under certain conditions?• Do any old thoughts or out-of-proportion emotions crop up when you engage insexual play?• What would you prefer to feel instead of the sensory memories of these painfulexperiences?2.4 Sex Section”Being fully present in the moment creates no only ecstatic sex but spiritual transcendence.” —– from Intimacy: A Green Light For Red Hot Sex And A Lifetime Of Loving by JeffreTallTrees and Orv. Fry.Celebrate The Divine GiftTantrikas celebrate sexuality as the supreme divine gift.With Tantra, sex feels so fantastic when you learn to move out of your mind and into yourbody fully. Your body becomes ecstatic when it gets in tune with your spirit.That’s why we say it’s more meditation than athletics.Though Tantra is not directly about sexual techniques, Tantrikas become better loversthrough conscious practice. Our experience deepens and opens new levels of intimatecommunion. Through the pursuit of pleasure, we release the issues in the tissues that haveblocked our enjoyment. As a result, our erections become stronger, we make love longer, andwe experience bigger and more prolonged orgasms. Even more, we experience ecstatic orgasmsthat take us to greater realms than “normal” sex.Learning the full appreciation of sex teaches us to delight in our bodies and welcomepleasure. We explore erotic play fully and comprehensively, immersing ourselves fully just aswe do with every other part of life.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 27What Is Tantric Sex?”Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.” —- Woody AllenTypical modern lovemaking starts with a quick build up and ends with an equally quickrelease of sexual tension. Not so in Tantra. Tantric Sex uses the same body parts and physicalactions, but unfolds much differently than the average quickie hurtling downhill towards asudden explosion.Really, we’re not against quickies. But what if there was something much much better thatlasted much much longer?In Tantra, we define S.E.X. as Subtle Energy eXchange. Tantric S.E.X. means any touching ormoving together that connects lovers’ inner vibrations. The Sacred Gate (G-Spot) is one of thosehighly energetic erogenous zones that strongly activates the flow of Kundalini energy.Releasing tension and giving in to the urge to climax gets replaced with continuousstreaming vibrations of ecstatic energy. When we enter the altered state of consciousness thatcomes with orgasm after orgasm, we simply want to float upon a cloud of bliss together.Tantric S.E.X. is flowing, spontaneous, and conscious. It’s open, intimate, and mutual. Sexthis way is more leisurely, savoring every delicious morsel of pleasure, instead of rushingheadlong towards maximum turn-on rapidly. It’s a dance, not a race. Tantric lovers move soslowly, stopping frequently to settle deeply into the rising tide of pleasure, stretching theexperience out as long as possible.Tantric S.E.X. is more like sensuously sipping an expensive Cabernet than chugging a sixpackof brew. It more resembles sampling the delicacies at a gourmet buffet than inhaling apepperoni pizza during Monday Night Football. It’s certainly more like a twilight stroll througha perfumed Spring garden with your beloved on your arm than running a hundred-yard dash.EXERCISE: Tantric Sex Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about…• What zones of your body get turned on by what kind of stimulation?• What sexual fantasies have you had?• What erotic dreams have you had?• How would you like your sex to be more Tantric?Drop Your Goals, They’ll Look After ThemselvesThere’s no goal in Tantric S.E.X., only the present moment of perfect and harmonious union.Loveplay in Tantra is all about feeling pleasure intensely for long periods of time, nothing moreand nothing less. It’s about building, containing, and circulating Kundalini energy, not losing it.It’s about letting the energy unfold and expand, not trying to make something happen.We follow no agenda, set pattern, or programmed stages of foreplay and penetration. Wedon’t rush through the preliminaries to get to the main act. We don’t judge success in the sackby making ourselves or our partner climax. Since we have no goal of giving or receivingorgasm, anything may happen as the mood strikes the lovers.That doesn’t mean orgasm is unwelcome or avoided. And it doesn’t mean that climaxesaren’t incredibly spectacular in Tantric Sex. The many varieties of orgasm we experience aredownright amazing when they overtake us. It just means we let them happen of their ownaccord at the highest peaks imaginable.Don’t Miss The Beautiful Fragrance Of The RosesThe problem with being orgasm-focused is that, instead of feeling what you’re feeling, youconcentrate on a future goal.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 28Pleasure is now, orgasm comes later.If you focus on later, you miss the delicious energies building inside you now. If you’recontinuously comparing your lovemaking to some imagined mental picture, some earlier time,some hot porno flick, you can’t fully appreciate what you’re sensing in the moment.Pleasure is now, orgasms come when they come. And they will come.We can’t argue with the business practice of setting goals and defining expectations upfront. The natural tension of pushing for what you want serves some people as a usefulmotivator. But tension blocks the flow of subtle orgasmic energy, the powerful Kundalini forceat the root of Tantra’s transformative processes.It’s distracting enough to be thinking about coming or trying to prevent it too soon. Whenyour mind is intent on your partner’s climb to orgasm, you can get dragged down into a severecase of performance anxiety. Then, instead of focusing on feeling good, you spend your energyworrying about how well you’re doing. You get caught up in all those media-hyped standardsof how it’s your job to make your partner go wild.Get Back In The Sack Where You BelongThis takes you out of your body. By ignoring your own sensory input in the moment, you’llseverely limit your ability to run sexual energy throughout your body and experience waves oforgasmic bliss.In Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery, Somraj writes…”Getting out of your head means letting go of so many worries that normally accompany sex evenwith long-time partners. So heighten your senses, feel your feelings, enjoy your pleasure with noagenda, and you’ll gradually learn to stay out of your head and into your body.”When you’re trying to recreate an earlier ecstatic incident, expecting to go longer than lasttime, or wanting a bigger explosion this time, you’re taking yourself out of the experience youwant to expand. All too often having expectations just create frustrations which you carry intolater encounters. Soon, simple enjoyment gets bogged down with all these mental standardsand judgments, future agendas and plans.Instead of thinking, you should just be just playing and having fun.In contrast, the sexual practice of Tantra guides you to shift from orgasm — where youexpect a defined ending – to continuously experiencing orgasmic energy for as long as youchoose.EXERCISE: Sexual Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about…• Describe a peak ecstatic sexual experience.• Describe a typical sexual encounter.• How would you like your sex life to be different?Speak Up And EnjoyAre you familiar with that common mental refrain “Am I doing it right?” or the verbal one,”Did you come yet?”Because Tantrikas enter into sacred sex without expectations, performance anxietydisappears. When sex becomes a conscious dance of energies, any mystery about what’shappening with your partner disappears.If you can picture synchronized swimming with telepathic communication, you’ll get somesense of what Tantric Sex looks like.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 29Tantric lovers know that they’re each responsible for their own pleasure. They recognizethat erotic experiences begin within. They know what they like, what they prefer in themoment, and what to pass on during each encounter. They’ve explored all pleasure triggers andknow when and how they want their Sacred Gate stimulated. They ask for what they want,voice their reactions, and give lots of feedback. And they do it in a way that enhances intimacyand contributes to the sensual mood.Obviously, this kind of authentic interplay requires knowing, accepting, and loving yourselffully. Then you can be scrupulously honest, totally real, and refreshingly transparent with yourinnermost desires. Which leads to knowing, accepting, and loving your beloved.Partnering QuestionsBecause Tantrikas use sexual play along with raising awareness, we focus on, talk about,and study sex more than the average person. But we don’t plan things out in detail. We learn tolook inside, understand what we’re wanting and feeling now, and then talk about. And wenever do anything to another, even a long-term partner, without their permission.If you know where you and your partner are both at, it’s much easier to relax. If you trustthat your partner will respect your needs and limits, you don’t have to maintain tight control allthe time. In Tantric Sex we often focus on preparations so that we haven’t a care in the worldduring the experience and can become thoroughly spontaneous.That’s why Tantric Sex is uniquely a partnership involving mutual consent, energy balance,full participation, giving, and receiving. To make sure, we always start any partnered Tantricpractice by discussing three issues…1) Desires: what you want, intend, or hope will happen,2) Concerns: what’s on your mind or worrying you about it, and3) Boundaries: lines you don’t want your partner to cross.We call these the Partnering Questions.For example, before a sensual massage a woman might ask for…• long slow oiled strokes (desires),• without things turning too sexual because she’s having menstrual cramps (concerns),• with no yoni penetration (boundaries).PRACTICE: Partnering QuestionsPurposeThe following practice guides you in getting familiar with the three PartneringQuestions by discussing the topic of sex in general. During later practices, you’ll usethem to prepare more specifically.1. LOOK INSIDETake a moment to look within and identify how satisfied you are with your currentsex life. Consider what you’ve had, what you’ve got, how it’s working, how it’s not, pluswhat you want more of and less of. Include desires, feelings, concerns, frustrations, andfantasies. The more honestly you can do this, the better your coming experiences will be.2. ONE PARTNER PRESENTSOne explains their desires, concerns, and boundaries regarding sex with the other.The other partner should simply listen, acknowledge, and ask for clarification only ifnecessary to understand. A minute each is usually sufficient for each question.3. OTHER PARTNER PRESENTSAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 30Exchange roles so the other partner can explain their answers to the three questions.4. NEGOTIATEIf there are differences in desires or boundaries that conflict, discuss what you can doto honor each other’s wishes.Tantra 101So you’ll know what to expect, let us introduce you to some of the basic Tantra principlesyou’ll find appearing in this book over and over…• Relax and go with the flow, allowing natural forces to run their course.• Don’t be inhibited and don’t resist healthy impulses,• Be supremely conscious of everything while watching and enjoying.• Be present in the moment and open your physical senses.• Make love on multiple levels: sex, heart, and spirit.• Focus on pleasure in the moment, not simply on achieving the big O,• You are responsible for your own pleasure and responses.• Know what you desire, what your boundaries are, and voice them.• Empty your mind of goals and anxieties, letting sex become a timeless blissfulmeditation.• Allow orgasm to become a sacred energy event, separate and distinct from ejaculationand physical orgasm.2.5 Sacred Sex Section“Tantric Buddhism is the much misunderstood practice of using the sexual energy as a way ofexploring spirituality…using sex as a gateway to a richer and deeper spiritual experience, andusing spirituality as a means of expanding the sex act into one of erotic symbolism andmeditation.” —– Richard Craze in A Beginner’s Guide To Tantric SexualityWhy Do You Call Tantra Sacred Sex?In many circles, the word Tantra is synonymous with sacred sexuality. How can we makesuch an outrageous claim?In part, that’s because the original Tantras taught sex as a path to higher consciousness. Ifyou employ your superabundance of sexual energy as fuel for growth, then you’ll experienceour private definition of Tantra, too — the fast track to enlightenment.Further, Tantric LovePlay is a way to bring sexuality into harmony with spirituality, makingsexual love a sacrament of sacred union.No, You Don’t Have To Go To Tantra Church For Great SexIf you’re religious, you can easily adopt the view that everything on earth — including sex –is God’s gift. Your body is a temple that houses your soul. Or if you lean towards the morepagan traditions, the Goddess who is love gave us sex as a reward for honoring spirit.Either way, it’s our spiritual imperative to accept this supreme offering and revel in it. Don’tyou agree?We connect lust, love, and life force by making love on multiple levels. Tantra is sacred sexbecause we merge all our energies inside by connecting the sex, heart, and spirit chakras (theenergy centers up and down the body in line with the spine). And share each with our beloved.Tantra teaches that we’re all a reflection of higher powers. In our rituals, we always includea namasté, the traditional Eastern palms together over the heart with a bow. Namaste´ means”the divine light within me honors the divine light within you.”Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 31Whatever way you cut it, Tantric LovePlay operates on a different plane than pure a****lattraction.PRACTICE: Heart SalutationDescriptionTry this little greeting and closing gesture as a way of showing your respect for thelife force of your partner. We do it each time we make love or when we’re doing otherjoint practices. Though it just takes a moment and is silent, the intense eye contactcreates an intimacy that sometimes leads to exchanging heartfelt appreciation of eachother.PurposeTo learn a simple way to show Tantric respect for the divine qualities of your partner.1. SITSit cross legged in front of each other as close as you can get. Comfortably make eyecontact.2. HANDS DOWNPut your palms together pointing down, both of you. Touch the floor in front of youstill making eye contact.3. IN BREATHPull your hands, palms still together, up to your hearts as you each take a deep slowbreath still making eye contact.4. VISUALIZEAs you breathe in and move your hands up, visualize the energy of the earth beingdrawn into your hands and then into your heart.5. LEAN FORWARDKeeping your hands on your hearts, lean forward and touch foreheads in a “third eyekiss” as you slowly exhale. Visualize the energy exchanging between you.6. PARTLean back as you take another deep breath, keeping your hands on your heart. Somelike to close their eyes at this point as they take their energy back inside.7. RELAXAs you visualize energy being returned to the earth on your second out breath, moveyour hands back down to the floor in front of you and open your eyes.Ritual Engineers An Energy ConversionIn India, traditional Tantrikas spent many years under the guidance of a spiritual teacherengaged in elaborate yogic rituals to purify the body and master the mind. These practices wereintended to awaken the powerful psychic energies through which the adept could enter intohigher states of consciousness. Only when a disciple was deemed ready did he or she partake insexual rites with a partner.We don’t approach teaching modern Tantric S.E.X. in such a rigorous disciplined way. Butwe approach it as if entering a holy temple on the path to liberation of body, mind, and spirit.Ritual in Tantra is just a way of honoring of each other as reflections of the divine. Wechoose to look through the outer shell and see into our own and our beloved’s inner beings.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 32When Somraj began learning Tantra, he approached sexual play on the extreme masculineside of the spectrum. Ritual was not part of his vocabulary much less experience.But, of course, love is a powerful behavior modifier. While stricken with infatuation withthe Tantric pioneer, Dhyan Jeffre, he surrendered to frequent Tantric ritual.After a few sessions of Tantric ecstasy, the energy itself engineered a conversion. He said…”There wasn’t any rote prostration before a jealous deity to placate in these rituals. Rather, theywere spontaneous motions which created a reverent mood celebrating love, sex, and the abundantjoy of the universe.”Ritual made loveplay feel different — intimate, sacred, more present.EXERCISE: Sacred Sex Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about…• How do you feel about viewing sex as sacred?• What other energies would you like to bring into your sexual encounters (spiritual,heartfelt, c***dlike, spontaneous, a****l, etc.)• What would make you feel safer, more loved, more adored, more blessed duringsexual play?Creating A Sacred SpaceWe call preparing the setting for practices and lovemaking, creating a Sacred Space. It’s aspace we choose, take loving care in preparing, and dedicate to the higher purpose of sacredsex.If you don’t have a spare room that you can decorate and reserve for Tantric LovePlay, youcan create the environment you want in your living room or bedroom. In fact, there’s a benefitto setting up each time, as you get to ponder the kind of experience or energy you want tocreate right now. It also stimulates your creativity and focus, helping you resist the great forceof habit that makes some of us take things for granted at times.What does ritual include?• Putting on beautiful clothing that accentuates our sexuality like sarongs and jewelrywith sensual, smooth, soft flowing cloth.• Creating an altar near our practice area that contains meaningful statues, pictures ofour teachers, power objects like crystals and feathers.• Cleansing the space with sage or scents, calling in the energies we want to invoke, andexpressing gratitude.This kind of ritual is simply our way getting ready to fully appreciate the joys of TantricS.E.X. It takes conscious attention to create the mood inside and out. Remove the distractions,intentionally set up the ambiance, and then your only work is the inner kind.We don’t have any strict rites required. Coupled with the eclectic spontaneity of Tantra,there’s no right or wrong way to do ritual. You just do what strikes you in the moment, keepingin mind the general guidelines we suggest in the Sacred Space Practice.PRACTICE: Sacred SpaceDescriptionHere are some of the things you should consider doing while creating your SacredSpace. Remember, you eventually want to do it your way. Don’t feel wedded to thisprogram but experiment to discover what feels good to you.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 33We suggest you print out this practice, including the closing step, so you’ll be able torefer to it in later practices.PurposeTo practice creating a Sacred Space.1. CLEAN-UPClean-up dust, dirt, stray objects, and loose clothing.2. DECORATEDecorate with sarongs, wall hangings, art, flowers.3. CENTERPIECEPlace a beautiful sarong on the bed or cushion as the center of your practice.4. MUSICSet up a music player with chosen music loaded and playing. Have a remote controlhandy, if you have one.5. OTHER SENSESPlace candles, bells, incense, and the like around to titillate your other senses.6. ALTARCreate a dedicated area as an altar for special power objects dedicated to your love,your guru, your lifestyle, your relationship, etc.7. CALL IN ELEMENTSWe call in the basic elements honored by the Native Americans — water, earth, air,spirit — from the compass directions beginning with the South.8. CAST OUTWe first walk around the center of the space counterclockwise, verbally casting outthe energies, emotions, and attitudes we choose to leave out of our space.9. CALL INThen we walk around clockwise, calling in energies, emotions, and attitudes we wantincluded.10. INVITEWe finally invite the spirit and energy of our teachers, mentors, and ancestors intoour space.ClosingTo close the Sacred Space, we also encourage a short ritual after every Tantric experience,including…• After a powerful orgasm, lying in each other’s arms is a sweet way to cool down.• After a practice session, comparing reactions is always interesting.• It’s endearing to exchange compliments, acknowledgments, sweet everythings.• Feedback is a great way for a partnership to grow and evolve amicably.• Verbally release the elements from the directions and any spirits you’ve invoked.• And of course we conclude with another Heart Salutation.2.6 Shiva Shakti SectionAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 34″Shiva and Shakti, the inseparable divine couple, are the gods of the ecstatic dance and thecreators of the yoga that allows adepts to rediscover the divine at the root of their own minds byopening the heart.” —– Daniel Odier in Tantric Quest: An Encounter with Absolute LoveLook What Happens When Male & Female Love Juices MergeThe earliest Tantras are writings in ancient Indian books thousands years old that describesecret sexual rituals, disciplines, and meditations.More than anyone else in modern times, the Indian mystic and spiritual teacher, Osho, isresponsible for popularizing Tantra in the West. For so long, the earth-shaking truths of the oldscriptures were inaccessible due to their secret codes and obscure language. Osho translated notjust the words but the spirit of living Tantrically.These esoteric Hindu texts were written in the form of a dialogue between the god Shivaand his consort, Shakti.According to the myth, Shiva and Shakti, the archetypal male and female, created theuniverse by making love. The physical world sprang from the love juices dripping from theirbodies. The union of their energies was needed to create the whole.Quite a contrast to the tale of Adam and Eve, right?Today, Tantrikas revere Shiva as the pure embodiment of the masculine force culminatingin cosmic consciousness, and Shakti as the feminine principle embodying pure creative energy.This isn’t worship of supreme beings as in organized religions. Rather, it’s our way ofhonoring the forces of nature that exist within each of us. We simply use Shiva and Shakti asconvenient symbols to focus the growth of our own divine qualities.In short, Tantrikas honor both our inner male and female regardless of our biologicalgender.Yin Yang UniteTantra teaches you to revere your sexual partner and to transform the act of sex into asacrament of love. Tantra teaches that lovemaking between a man and woman, when enteredinto with awareness, is a gateway to both sexual and spiritual ecstasy.An essential part of understanding Tantra is recognizing the alchemy of blending femaleand male energies. The Chinese call these yin and yang.Western society artificially separates our masculine and feminine energies by discouragingthe development of the opposite qualities. You know that men are taught to hide their softreceptive nurturing side and women are traditionally encouraged to hide their forcefulleadership and dynamic power. But, truly, we all have both sets of energies and need to exercisethem all for a fulfilling life.Tantra encourages each gender to cultivate the latent forces of the other. If men seek theirintrinsic truths on the Tantric path, they’ll invariably discover their supple, receptive, sensitive,and vulnerable side, without losing their masculinity.Women will discover their strong leadership, dynamic initiative, and teaching powers whileretaining their femininity. These new qualities add to the grandbetting giriş strengths consistent with our outergender which we’ve already learned to exercise.What Do Real Men & Women Eat?So what do you think…• Do real men eat quiche?• Do real women eat bullets?The Tantric answer is to eat whatever floats your cork in the moment.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 35Why do we bother telling you this story? Because to reach the sublime heights of Tantricecstasy, you need more than technique. Without a deeper understanding of energy dynamics,you might think the best female lovers completely submit to their partners who dominateeverything. This is only half right.To be receptive to the powerful energies Sacred Gate massage and ejaculation release, awoman needs to be able to fully surrender to being penetrated, physically, emotionally, andspiritually. This takes courage, strength, and supreme confidence in herself. You see, thereceiver is the only one who really knows what’s going inside in each moment. To reach ecstaticheights, the woman must guide the experience. She must be so calm and secure in controllingher partner that she doesn’t disturb her own reverie. This is the dynamic direction of Shivaenergy.Oddly enough, her lover needs feminine qualities. The giver has to be fully receptive tobeing led and embrace the Shakti energy. The giving partner, whether male or female, has towilling and able to give oneself fully in service to the Goddess. Give up their own agenda,surrender to whatever happens, and support, nurture, and follow selflessly. Shakti qualities.In other words, the strong and in-control giver must be soft and feminine, while the soft andfeminine receiver acts strong and in control. The opposite of what you might expect. Ultimatesuccess with Sacred Gate stimulation and female ejaculation requires that both giver andreceiver excel at performing both Shiva and Shakti roles and be able to interchange themseamlessly.If one can only give and the other can only receive, progress will be blocked. Harmony andbalance in male-female polarities are what you’re seeking. So you can both surprise the other,lead them to unheard of heights of pleasure, and be able to share the entire ecstasy created.EXERCISE: Yin & Yang Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about…• How well do you do at fully receiving and absorbing all the pleasure you’re offered?• How well do you focus on yourself while receiving?• How well do you do at fully giving without worrying about what you’re going to getin return?• How well are you able to feel deep pleasure in giving?Worship The GoddessFor the ultimate Tantric highs, both partners need to lead strongly and be fully open toreceiving. As we’ve said, modern society conditions men to be strong and decisive, women tobe submissive and accepting. (Yes, even today.) It’s often a challenge for both to learn toexercise the strengths of the opposite pole.This is probably where the popularity amongst Tantric men of worshipping the Goddesscomes from. We’re referring to revering, honoring, and following the Shakti energy of yourfemale partner here. Undoubtedly, there’s some connection with early pagan religions thatbelieved everything comes from the grace of the supreme mother who watches over us.Men, when your heart bubbles with gratitude over the gifts your Goddess bestows on you,when your mind is consumed with giving her pleasure, when your body vibrates ecstatically inunison with her orgasms, you’ve come to worship this incarnation of the Goddess.And for women, when you learn what you want, know how to graciously ask for it, andguide lovemaking to reach new and glorious celestial heights, you’ve truly come into yourpower as a spiritual sexual being. Accept your self as Goddess, divine in every way.Shiva-Shakti GameAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 36“The man holds the essence of woman in him, and the woman holds the essence of man in her.What is outside male is inside female. What is outside female is inside male.” —– MargotAnand in The Art of Sexual EcstasyHow do you learn to lead and to receive? By practicing just what doesn’t come naturally.Instead of spending your time and energy thinking and debating, use the Tantric way. Followthe three Tantric maxims for personal transformation: practice, Practice, PRACTICE!The Shiva-Shakti Game is a great way to practice harmonizing both roles. It requires a longperiod of your life away from work during which one of you fully assumes one role while yourpartner does the other.You may need to push yourself to assume the role that isn’t your conditioned response,taking charge when you’re used to following, or supporting when you’re used to challenging ormodifying your partner’s plans.This game is a chance to fully get into one side of the gender spectrum without the guilt thatreceivers often feel that they should be giving back. And without the jealous resistance thatgivers experience focusing on when will they get theirs. Both take you out of the experience,and ultimately will block your ability to reach the highest peaks of sexual ecstasy.In the Shiva-Shakti Game you know full well that the time is limited and you only have torestrict your mind and emotions to one gender energy. You can rest easier knowing that you’llboth get a chance to turn the tables before too long.If you accept that your desires are good and you deserve all the pleasure you can absorb,here’s a chance to go for it.PRACTICE: Shiva-Shakti GameDescriptionThe Shiva-Shakti Game lets you demonstrate that you’re fully responsible for yourown pleasure. When you’re receiving, you need ask decisively for what you’ve alwayswanted. You need to communicate clearly about what you’ve been afraid to speak upabout. Now you have permission, at least while you’re playing Shiva.If you don’t make out-of-the-ordinary requests that are at least a little bit naughty,why bother trying to change your sex life? Here’s your chance to play out fantasiesyou’ve dreamed about and explore the kinds of sexual play you’ve been intrigued by.Why not belly up to the bar and go for it?Further, unless you get mean-spirited and exact revenge (not an intention of thispractice), you don’t have to worry about rejection. During the practice, your partner iscommitted to serving your whims and wishes.Don’t be too surprised if your play runs up against the limits to your capacity forpleasure. Resistance may be a feeling of being overwhelmed, overstimulated, bored, ornot feeling deserving and worthy. We suggest, as with all resistance, that you take iteasy while you persevere. What turns it on is just the thing that will turn it offpermanently.PurposeTo practice consciously and willfully fully occupying only one Shiva-Shakti role at atime so you can learn to use them each when you want to.1. WISHESBrainstorm separately a list of things you want to do during your ideal evening orday. Don’t restrict yourself while you’re brainstorming. Put everything down that you’veAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 37ever dreamed of, the more outrageous the better. You’re just fantasizing privately now,so there’s no commitment to follow through on your daydreams. Regardless of howmany wishes you ask for while you’re in charge, the practice of your creativity in thepursuit of pleasure is a great opportunity. Everything does not have to be sexual. Youcan include outings, sports, walks, meals, a game, being bathed or dressed, etc.2. ORDERReview your list yourself and consider what would bring you the most pleasure inthe moment. Having the dishes washed? Dressing your partner up? Receiving an hourof oral sex? Put your list in the order you want to do them.3. SACRED SPACENow get together and begin by creating a Sacred Space. Be sure to do a HeartSalutation as you settle in.4. TIMEFRAMERead your lists to each other. Decide who will go first. Agree on how long you wantto play, each of you being Shiva for half and Shakti for half. Though you may want totry just an hour or two to get the hang of it, the profound results come from an evening,a day, or an entire weekend.5. BEGINDiscuss the Partnering Questions — desires, concerns, and boundaries. What do youwant to learn? What are you worried about? Is anything off limits? To officially beginthe session, the partner in the Shakti role salutes Shiva by saying something like “Ohglorious Shiva, I offer myself in service to your profound pleasure. Please guide me.”6. SHIVA TIPSAsk for what you want. Experiment, be creative, inventive, and take risks. You’re theking or queen and you have total right to ask for anything that moves you. Focus onlearning to receive. Don’t plan everything in advance but be playful and spontaneous.Be sure not to abuse your power but to be kind to your servant (who may soon be yourdictator). A good ruler is never unkind or abusive to those dedicated to their pleasure.Laud your Shakti with compliments for everything you receive. Remember, byconsidering the giver’s situation you will learn more about how to get what you ask for.7. SHAKTI TIPSDemonstrate that your partner’s pleasure is important to you by devoting yourselffully to it for this time. Take the profound opportunity to practice the height of theTantric approach to life: by saying “yes!” Our normal conditioning in life is to judgeactions and resist those we’re uncomfortable with, controlling the outside world toprotect our inner world. In this practice, you get to practice surrender. In this way youcan learn about your own inner blocks to giving freely and unconditionally withoutexpecting anything in return. Of course, you’re a supporter, not a slave. So you shouldn’taccede to anything that would permanently hurt you. Recognizing your own boundariesand communicating them to Shiva is a powerful exercise in personal power.8. EXCHANGE ROLESWhen half the time allocated to the entire game is up, find a clear stopping place anddo a Heart Salutation. Officially conclude with the one in the Shiva role sayingsomething like “Thank you, my beloved Shakti, for giving me so much pleasure. IAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 38release you from your delightful service.” Then, when you’re ready, switch roles andrepeat the previous steps.9. FEEDBACKBefore processing what occurred, many couples find it helpful to take a breakseparately for an hour or so to reflect on what happened. Then get back together in yourSacred Space, do a Heart Salutation, and review the experience, answering questionslike…• What was hardest? How did you feel at the time?• What was easiest? How did you feel at the time?• What was most enjoyable? How did you feel at the time?• What did you learn about yourself?• What do you need and want to work on more?10. CLOSINGUse whatever steps seem appropriate to close your Sacred Space, as you learned inthe Sacred Space Practice.2.7 Closing SectionThough you’ve got some incredible sexual practices ahead, we wanted to start you off withthe mindset that Tantric sex is more than rutting. You can expand your sacred sexual experienceby…• Integrating your mind, emotions, and soul with the body.• Focusing your awareness where it will help, on celebrating pleasure.• Welcoming sexual healing into your evolution.• Looking inward and deciding how you can make your sex life sacred.• Developing the attitude and approach of your opposite gender.We’ve offered several simple practices that you’ll find in nearly everything that’s coming…• Relaxing through meditation,• Being responsible for your own pleasure using Partnering Questions,• Intentionally creating the mood you want in a Sacred Space,• Honoring the divine in all of us with the Heart Salutation. and• Embracing both yin and yang roles with Shiva-Shakti.Open to all the energies of life and your lovemaking will never be the same. Enjoy thetransformation that awaits you.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 39Chapter 3: Kundalini Energy”The practice of Tantra has tremendous potential for transformation because of the KundaliniShakti — spiritual energy — the awakening, uplifting, expanding principle. The experience of theShakti might be an inexplicable euphoria, a deep peace, a sense of great love, or an expansion ofour own awareness — so that suddenly we are aware of inner processes that we previously had noidea of.” —– Gurumayi Chidvilasananda3.1 Opening SectionPurposesThe purposes of this chapter are to…• Understand what Kundalini energy is.• Begin strengthening your sexual muscles.• Learn how to do Orgasmic Breathing.• Recognize how Tantric Orgasm is different.How Tantra Can Help Your Sex LifeHow can a spiritual practice like Tantra help you with G-Spot orgasms and femaleejaculation? It can because Tantra is about mastering your own energy, the vitality of life. Wemean that inner subtle vibration that’s always percolating beneath most people’s normal level ofconsciousness.Everything in the physical universe is in motion due to energy flowing. The cells in ourbodies, the blood in our veins, the impulses in our nerves all continuously vibrate inside. Areyou aware of it?What causes goose bumps? A chill down your spine? Shivers or ticklishness? Or moredirectly on our subject, how about that tingly warm feeling in your jewels (genitals) when yousee a luscious specimen of the opposite sex walking down the street.When we refer to energy in Tantra, we mean the nervous stimulation and physicalexcitation that causes these feelings. In China it’s called chi, in India it’s called prana, in Japan it’scalled ki, in Yoga it’s called Kundalini, but it’s all energy. We’re talking about the same electricaland magnetic life force that pervades all of our bodies.What Energy Crisis?Being an energy practice above all else, Tantra targets sex because it creates so much energy.Because most lovers feel this kind of sexual energy most strongly just before an orgasm, you’llsee us use the term “orgasmic energy.” Kundalini is probably the more correct term. But it’s allthe same electrical or magnetic stuff in your body.Regardless of your level of satisfaction with your lovemaking skills, energy is at the root ofit.Tantra teaches heightened awareness of these subtler, finer frequencies. Most people don’tnotice them because their internal receivers haven’t been tuned to pick them up. That’s partlywhy we delight in exploring our senses of taste, sight, smell, and sound as well as deeperappreciation of sensual touch.By tuning our senses, we learn how to summon orgasmic energy, focus on its effects,magnify its impact, and circulate it around the body.EXERCISE: Kundalini Discussion QuestionsAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 40Here are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about….• How aware of your Kundalini energy are you?• What does it feel like?• Do you feel it moving?• What do you do that makes it move?3.2 Streaming Section”If you practice drinking from someone else’s spring, you will never become a fountain. Toawaken is to become a fountain for others and never stop flowing.” —– Daniel Odier in TantricQuest: An Encounter with Absolute LoveLearn To StreamWhen enough sexual pleasure is awakened inside, it’s hard to contain the Kundalini in onespot. So, with any luck, it spreads.We call this moving, running, channeling, or circulating energy.Though they all mean roughly the same thing, streaming is probably our favorite term. Thename refers to opening your pathways to the energy of ecstasy (even without sexualstimulation) and letting the natural vibrations engulf you. Streaming gives the valid impressionof a flood of pleasure coursing through your body, which is what it feels like.When orgasmic energy streams throughout the body, it’s as if every cell is coming. Yes, youfeel the same ecstatic experience everywhere. Whole-body orgasm is high on our private list ofTantric delights.When we first started Tantric practice, Jeffre used to have powerful session-ending orgasms.When she learned to stream instead of explode, she started experiencing multiple orgasms.When you know how stream orgasmic Kundalini energy by yourself, then you canexchange it with your beloved. The most intense sexual encounters don’t result just from areally hot woman or skilled man. The pinnacles of sexual ecstasy result from both partnerssharing, combining, and building on each other’s energy. That’s why our definition of S.E.X. isSubtle Energy eXchange.Why bother learning how to stream?• Because it’s the key to unleashing the full potential of your sexual power.• Because it’s how you take yourself higher and higher.• Because it’s how you learn to awaken your Sacred Gate and the multiple andextended orgasms awaiting you there.Some say that women are generally more sensitive to energy and can learn how to streammore easily. Maybe so. But , guys, you can feel it, too. Some of you, like Somraj, can respondintensely to the slightest stimulation with a little practice. Which is the basis of the ancientEastern secret of overcoming premature ejaculation.If Inner Tennis, Why Not Inner Orgasm?You know what happens to guys if all the sexual energy generated through lovemakingstays in their jewels? If all this excitement boils over too quickly, the easiest direction for it tomove is out the end of their pleasure stick. And then vajra (penis) explodes with a momentaryflash of pleasure and a big wet spot, that usually ends the play time for a good long while,sometimes leaving his lover unsatisfied.If he learns how to spread that Kundalini away from his vajra and around his body, he’llfeel great all over without a sudden big gush. As a result, he can have lots of little energy rushesAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 41which get bigger and bigger and bigger, culminating in a long series of internal energy climaxeswe call Tantric Orgasm.If you’re a man, when you learn to channel sexual energy away from your jewels, you canseparate ejaculation from orgasm. Your arousal can still become irresistible and you can stillhave those powerful pelvic muscle contractions that feel so wonderful.That’s what causes a dry orgasm, a long series of slow pleasurable spasms withoutejaculating and with a rush of energy. Instead of exploding, you pump the energy back insideand circulate it repeatedly. We call these “implosive orgasms.”How do you learn to spread Kundalini energy elsewhere in your body? Somraj’s personalstory in his ebook, Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery, answers that question conclusively. If you oryour partner is interested in prolonging your lovemaking nearly indefinitely by using theultimate solution for premature ejaculation, get your copy now at….EXERCISE: Discussion Questions For MenHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about…• How well do you extend your loveplay without ejaculating too soon?• How do you do it?• Have you ever had a dry orgasm?• Have you ever felt Kundalini surging through your body?EXERCISE: Discussion Questions For WomenHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about…• How are your orgasms? What are they like?• Do they come easily? What pushes you over the top?• Would you like something more?• Have you ever ejaculated?Where Do You Store Your Energy?Many ancient cultures, both in the East and West, studied our subtle energies and devisedmethods to gain greater mastery over them. Common to many practices are the chakras, theIndian word for wheels. Chakras are…Whirlpools or vortexes of energy centered at the spinal column and extending in front of andbehind the body where subtle energy is generated, collected, and stored.Most systems identify seven chakras that reside from the bottom of the spine to the top ofthe head. Here is a relatively universal list…# Chakra Location1st Perineum Base of spine2nd Belly 2 inches below navel3rd Solar Plexus Below breast bone4th Heart Center of chest5th Throat Throat6th Third Eye Forehead7th Crown Top of headThough energy is energy, when it’s generated or settles in a specific chakra, it feels different.When we talk about sexual energy, we’re actually referring to vibrations of the first two chakrasat the belly and pelvic floor. At the heart, it’s the warm embrace of love. In the brain, it fuelshigher awareness. At the crown, it connects us to the spiritual plane.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 42Prescription For Prolonged Peak ExperiencesWe know you’re reading this ebook to unleash the power of the Sacred Gate. So let usexplain how your chakras figure in so pivotally. There are two main reasons.First, most love partners want more than just a lust connection at the first couple sexchakras. Merging energy at multiple chakras satisfies them immensely.If you’ve read any of the Conversations With God books by Neale Donald Walsch, you’llrecognize “God’s” position on sacred sex…”There is nothing…unholy…about a passionate, desire-filled sexual experience…When yourespond to one another from…all seven centers at the same time, then you have the peakexperience you are looking for.”Second, you can use the invisible channel that connects the chakras internally, which we callthe inner flute, to move Kundalini energy throughout your body.This is the key to revitalizing your chakras. Learn to stream sexual life force up and downyour inner flute and you’ll be able to clear the mental, emotional, and physical blocks in yourway of an ecstatic life.Those who practice Kundalini Yoga believe this orgasmic energy sleeps at the base of thespine. Others believe the first chakra is at the clio or tip of vajra. Our experience is that the mostpowerful sexual energies are stored in the Sacred Gate of both men and women. Awaken theKundalini, the sleeping serpent of sexual fire, stream the energy upward, and not only do youcreate exciting sexual experiences, but you rejuvenate your entire mind, body, and spirit.EXERCISE: Chakra Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about…• What do you know about chakras?• What awareness do you have of each chakra?• What stimulates and excites you chakras?3.3 Tantric Orgasm Section“The awakening of Kundalini is, somehow, the awakening of the latent cosmic energy lying inevery human being, for such an energy is the origin of all his powers, all his strength, all theforms of life he may assume.” —– Lilian Silburn in KundaliniStreaming For Fun And ProfitOur biology certainly produces lots of sexual energy, especially when we’re young, healthy,or infatuated with a new love. What happens when you age or get stressed by sickness or lifepressures? Then you can’t depend on hormones to turn you on and make you high.Master running energy and this will never be a problem. Learn to generate and channelKundalini energy and you can reach mind-boggling heights any time you want. Goddessknows, there’s a never-ending supply if you’re willing to tap into your sexual generator.Where do you channel the energy generated? How do you spread it around your body andshare it with the one you love? By using your intention, your mind, and your breath, you canlearn to send Kundalini anywhere you want.Where do you think full-body orgasms come from? From circulating the peak sexual forcesinstead of letting them release all that delicious energy too soon.Move the energy up to the belly, the solar plexus, the heart, the brain, and above. Then itexcites, enlivens, and enriches your whole body. That’s what makes magic happen. That’s whyyou came to this party, right?Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 43Full-Body OrgasmsWe believe that the G-Spot is such a captivating trigger zone because it stores so muchorgasmic energy. Learn to awakening your Sacred Gate is an easy portal into the energetic sideof sacred orgasm. With a little dedicated Tantric practice, you can unleash these powerful forceswith little stimulation, at least from the outside.Regardless of your gender, streaming Kundalini energy awakens the rest of your body soyou can experience full-body orgasms. Running energy to the heart awakens your love-flowsand is a powerful turn-on all by itself. Channeling energy to the spiritual centers in the head canmake sexual play a transcendent experience.Once you learn to stream energy, you’ll experience amazingly powerful responses to subtlestimuli. Your senses become immeasurably heightened. Imagine what it feels like when otherparts of your body are throbbing with the same excitation that makes your jewels pulse andthrob?Tantric OrgasmWhen you learn the ancient sexual secrets presented in Awakening The Sacred Gate, youcan access powers hidden deep inside. Then, although a normal physical orgasmic release canfeel terrific, you’ll find that orgasm in Tantra becomes a vastly different experience. Tantrikascultivate the ecstatic response, which you might call the inner nervous system climax.We achieve this by contacting our most powerful trigger zones like the Sacred Gate andgenerating huge sexual forces. Then we recycle the orgasmic energy, not expel it. We conserveand Kundalini within, and instead of discharging, the energy expands inward, flooding theentire body with pulsing orgasmic contractions and continuous wavelike vibrations. This iswhat we call a Tantric Orgasm.A Tantric Orgasm is an experience of prolonged peak pleasure in which your whole bodyvibrates with wave after wave of intense ardor. We shake all over, engulfed in surge after surgeof pure liquid fire. Often, female Tantric adepts ejaculate over and over and over.Most people experience orgasm from physical stimulation, building up sexual tension andthen releasing it. Tantric Orgasm is an energy event, a state of ecstasy that’s more than justphysical, involving many or all of the chakras. In the Ecstatic States Chapter, we’ll immerseourselves into the different physical pathways to different kinds of sexual climax, and howTantric energy orgasm relates.Where Can I Get One? No, A Six Pack?How does one experience Tantric Orgasm? Some get there through clio stimulation, somethrough maithuna (Tantric for sexual union), some by learning to channel orgasmic energy toand from all parts of their body. But we find the most powerful access to this zenith of sexualpleasure is through the G-Spot. The Sacred Gate is where so much power is stored, too oftenignored or suppressed, and can be so released with such intense experiences.Many women rarely experience this kind of sexual peak. But when introduced to G-Spotplay, they report many of the same sensations as we describe as Tantric Orgasm. Longcontinuous pulsing. Going somewhere else and losing touch with reality. Out of control. Thesestreams of ecstasy from Tantric Orgasm can go on and on and higher and higher.In fact, many Tantric practitioners can generate and flow this delicious energy without jewelstimulation. Admittedly this takes some training which is why Tantra is all about sacred sexualpractice.Is creating the ultimate pleasure worth some delightful practice now and then? You betcha.Once you acquire the knack, you’ll never settle day in and day out for “normal sex” again.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 44EXERCISE: Tantric Orgasm Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about…• Have you ever had a full-body orgasm?• Have you ever had a Tantric Orgasm?• Have you ever had multiple orgasms of any kind that went on and on?Four CornerstonesMany of you are reading this ebook not simply to have better sex but to have sacred ecstaticexperiences. Along with learning the physical triggers, you’ll learn here how to use Kundalinienergy to propel you higher.The secret is to turn the responses of the body and mind during orgasmic ecstasy into skillsyou can practice and master. We call these keys the four cornerstones of Supreme Bliss. Theyare…• Breath,• Sound,• Movement, and• Presence.A Tantric breath is deep, slow, and in the belly. The fuels the body.Tantrikas make sounds like moaning to express the pleasure they’re feeling. This releasesinhibitions and opens powerful nerve channels.The kinds of movements we’re referring to are undulating pelvic rocking on the outside andsexual muscle pumping on the inside. Not only do these actions channel Kundalini, but theyfeel really hot.Presence means being relaxed enough to open your senses in the moment without any goalor expectation and focus totally on the pleasure you’re feeling right now. Presence of mindallows you to use visualization to move Kundalini, and presence of spirit tunes your internalreceiver to the frequency of subtle energy.These may seem like simple skills, and they are. We’re talking about the kind of intensebreath, sound, movement, and presence that you usually only experience during an orgasm. Sowe refer to this process as Orgasmic Breathing.You might think that you already know what turns you on. For most people untrained inthe Eastern arts of love, those are external stimuli. In contrast, the four cornerstones are internaltools you can use to energize your own pleasure and steer your own excitement.If you use them to consciously to get your sexual motor running long before you approachthe pinnacle, they can be ecstatic tools that empower you to go higher and higher.3.4 Sexual Muscles SectionPC MuscleWe want you to start learning to run sexual energy with one aspect of the movementcornerstone, flexing your inner sexual muscles. We’re talking about your PC muscle, short forpubococcygeus.We realize that medical term is a mouthful, but it’s easy to identify. Put one of your handson your pubic bone, the inside one that’s above your jewels and around your pubic hair at thebottom of your tummy. That’s the P.Now reach around behind and put your other hand near the top of your crack just belowyour spine. That’s your tailbone or coccyx, the C. The PC muscle snakes down around yourjewels and anus and connects these two bones plus your sitting bones and legs.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 45What’s more important, you need to be able to identify the PC muscle from the inside. It’sthe one you tighten when you want to squeeze out the last few drops of urine. Try squeezing itnow. Did you feel it?If you can’t isolate it, take a break and go the bathroom right now. Start peeing and stop inthe middle. When you’re finished, try to squeeze the last few drops out. The muscle you used tostop midstream and squeeze at the end is your PC.You Want To Strengthen Your PCHaving strong internal pelvic muscles, keeping them relaxed when at rest, and knowinghow to use them without strain can dramatically enhance your sexual pleasure. Why?Because the PC pulses rhythmically during maithuna (intercourse), especially stronglyduring climax, pumping sexual energy. If your PC is weak, your pleasure and orgasms willsuffer. If it’s always tense, it can block your ability to stream Kundalini. If yours is strong, youhave a powerful tool to consciously channel energy throughout your whole body. The strongerthey become, the more intense and pleasurable sexual intimacy can be for you, and the moreeasily women can orgasm and ejaculate.Did we mention which muscle is primarily responsible for female ejaculation? Right, the PC.As with any physical exercise, improved tone gives you better muscle control. When amuscle is weak, it feels like mush even after a few contractions. With a weak PC, this cuts off theflow of pleasure and the length of orgasm. When a PC muscle is strong, you can continuepumping as long as you want, extending orgasm. Further, a well-toned PC can relax moreeasily.The natural tendency to tighten up when aroused blocks the flow of ecstasy up the innerflute. Those who’ve been sexually rejected, abused, or wounded, may find their pelvic floorcontinually tense and on guard. Relax your PC when you’re flying higher and higher duringsexual play and you can soar.PC BenefitsApparently Gräfenberg wasn’t aware that a primary result of strong voluntary contractionsof the PC is to lift vajra towards the G-Spot. With a strong PC, a male lover can apply the mostdelicious kind of pressure to a woman’s Sacred Gate, regardless of sexual position. Much moreabout this soon.To summarize, women who develop strong PC muscles can…• expand the sensations during lovemaking and spread the pleasure out,• have more powerful orgasms,• have better control over their bladders, and• more easily learn to ejaculate.Additionally, the entire vagina benefits from increased circulation that increases sensitivity tostimulation and improves the overall health of the yoni.Men who develop strong PC muscles…• can have stronger erections,• have more powerful orgasms,• can regulate their contractions, consciously making them slower and avoidingpremature ejaculation,• gain greater control over vajra and strengthen his ability to stimulate his partner’s GSpot.Finally, some believe that PC practice massages a man’s prostate and keeps that vital organhealthier and disease free — a great side benefit.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 46PC PumpsDid we convince you that you need to do PC pumps? That’s what we call these sexualmuscle squeeze practices.Fortunately, it’s easy and inexpensive to strengthen them. It just takes a few minutes a dayand doesn’t happen overnight. To get the maximum benefits from Awakening The Sacred Gate,we urge you to add some of the following practices to your daily routine.By the way, you’ve probably heard of Kegels. These are similar practices developed by agynecologist in 1952 named, of all things, Dr. Arnold Kegel. He taught women to strengthentheir PC muscles after the trauma of c***dbirth to restore tone and regain control of theirurinary reflexes.Doing PC pumps is easy. The hard part is establishing a regimen and remembering to dothem. Develop a successful memory device so that you don’t forget. Find a time and placewhere you’ll remember to do several sets of these practices each day. Once they get strong afterseveral months of practice, continue the same regiment as your own maintenance programAfter he developed his muscles with several daily sets, Somraj chose two daily life ritualsfor his maintenance program — soaking in the hot tub, and walking the dogs. That’s where hedoes his PC pumps every day. You might use the beginning of your commute to and fromwork, as you stop for traffic lights, when you check your email, during TV commercials, orwhen you start your workout at the gym.Whatever you choose, do it regularly so it becomes an integral part of your life routine.Since it doesn’t seem to matter what position you’re in for these practices, you can choosewhenever and wherever best jogs your memory.Remember, don’t push yourself and strain your groin at the outset. Instead use the Tantricapproach and build up gradually. Relax everything else when you do PC pumps. If you tend totense up, put your tongue on your palate so won’t clench your jaw.When you start practicing as described below, you may find that you’re also tightening yourstomach muscles. Don’t’ worry about it for now. Within a few days or weeks, you’ll learn toisolate your muscle control so you’ll only flex the pelvic floor where the PC resides.These practices may be about squeezing your PC muscle, but the relaxing in between eachcontraction is vital. If you’re tense, your sexual energy gets trapped and can’t flow.Consequently, the unflexed moments between pumps are as important as the strengthening.Sure, get into the habit of squeezing to tone the muscles, but put as much attention on totallyrelaxing between flexes.PRACTICE: PC FlexSqueeze and release your PC muscle at the rate of your heartbeat, which means holdit each time for about a second. Start with 20 contractions twice a day and build up to atleast 75 per set. When you’re doing 75 twice a day easily, add the PC Clench.PRACTICE: PC ClenchNext, practice clenching your PC while inhaling. By clenches we mean to hold thesqueeze for a longer period of time. Some experts say 3 seconds, some say 6, some say15. Maybe they’re all right so we suggest you start with 3 and work up to 15 seconds perclench.To do clenches, inhale and clench your PC, holding it tightly. Then push it out andrelax for the same amount of time before your next clench. Repeat this cycle 20 timestwice a day at first. As with flexes, build up to 75 reps twice a day.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 47For women, it’s very important to spend time on the push-out. Use the instructionsabove, and inhale, push out, hold for 3-6 seconds. Do the push-out variation of theclench as many times as the pulling-in.The clench, contracting while inhaling and holding, is the type of PC Pump you’ll beusing very soon to move Kundalini energy up and out of your genital region.PRACTICE: PC FluttersThis practice is basically the same as the first one, PC Flexes, just faster. To do flutters,you contract and relax your PC as fast as you can. At first, you may not be able to gomuch faster than your heartbeat, but with practice you can speed up the squeeze andrelease. We suggest you don’t count these but just work up to fluttering for severalnormal breaths before relaxing totally. Doing 20 sets of these twice a day should begreat. When you can flutter like a bird, add PC Clamps.PRACTICE: PC ClampsPC Clamps are simply long clenches. Work up to holding your clench for twominutes or more 20 times each set. Remember to relax completely at length betweenthese long clamps. And relax if you start to hurt or get sore.KegelMasterThere’s another way for women specifically to build strong healthy yoni muscles. It’s byusing an FDA-approved exerciser that you insert called the KegelMaster 2000.The KegelMaster 2000 applies resistance against vaginal muscles as they contract throughtheir full range of motion. Through this simple process, all muscles in the pelvic area arestrengthened and toned while circulation increases. You’ll notice the difference after the firstuse!Though it’s made of medical-grade plastic and surgical stainless steel, only the plastictouches yoni. Springs provide 15 adjustable resistance levels that you can increase as yourmuscles become stronger. The dealers tell us that you can achieve impressive results with only10 minutes of your time three times a week.Here is Jeffre’s experience with the KegelMaster 2000…”I’ve always maintained strong yoni muscles through exercise and practice. But when I tried theKegelMaster 2000 for the first time, it made it totally clear how much connection there is betweenthem and pleasure. The higher I adjusted the tension on the exerciser, the better it felt. I couldn’ttry more than the first 7 of the 15 settings because my orgasms were so strong. Sure gives me theincentive to practice, practice, practice. Because of the lasting benefits to sexual ecstasy, I reallyrecommend you get one for yourself or your lover today.”For more details and to order yours today, click here….Whichever way you proceed, let us remind you that PC practices can be a very intensiveregimen if you go full out. We suggest going slowly at first. Then, feel your way as youcontinue with later practices. Once you develop strength and tone in your PC through someweeks of practice, you can back off to a maintenance level of exercises. After a couple of years ofintense practice, we don’t do every exercise every day. Eventually you’ll develop the feel ofwhat’s right to make your PC strong and keep it there.3.5 Orgasmic Breathing SectionAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 48“Endless orgasm is for those who can be responsible for staying in love, for stepping out of themental trivia trap, out of everyday thinking mind. Thoughts can kill endless orgasms, just as theycan kill ordinary orgasm during ordinary sex.” —– Margot Anand in The Art of SexualEcstasyOrgasmic BreathingOrgasmic Breathing is the kind of breath, sound, movement, and presence that happenswhen you have a typical exciting explosive orgasm. We’re going to practice these tools withoutsexual arousal at first so you can develop mastery over those body/mind functions that happeninvoluntarily during a climax.When you can use them to turn yourself on without external stimuli, imagine what it feelslike when coupled with sexual play?For the most part, we’ll be dealing here with subtle energies. At first, don’t expect that you’llbe flipping one of those big high-voltage control levers with huge sparks that will throw yourbody across the room. Right away, if you’re very relaxed and sensitive, or hopefully soonthrough practice, you’ll become aware of a little warmth, electrical tingle, or pleasurable tickle.It’s like learning to tune in to a much higher frequency sound than you’re accustomed to.You’ve got to clear your mind and listen acutely to reach it. Once you learn to tune yourreceiver to subtle sexual energy, it becomes a powerful force. You can direct and regulate it formagnified passion, lighting a long slow burn instead of an overwhelming eruption.RelaxingCan you understand how any mental or physical tension can prevent your progress at thisstage? You can force your way around solid obstacles with the force of your will. But to usesubtle energy you have to relax, breathe, and feel every little sensation. Tension will block thedoorway to feeling and moving these energies.If you relax, don’t worry about how fast you go, and never despair when it takes longer thanyou think it should, soon you’ll get inklings, then surges, and finally waves that will bowl youover. Be patient. You’ll probably need to practice numerous times for several weeks before themagic will occur. Somraj took months before he could feel Kundalini and move it. Take it easywith yourself and your partner.Tantric BreathingForemost amongst these relaxation techniques is breathing. Most of us take breathing forgranted. We tend to breathe shallowly and u*********sly as a rule. Contrast that with Yogamasters. Some are so aware that they can shut their breathing down to almost nothing and stayin a state of suspended animation for extended periods.Remember what happens to your breath as you approach orgasm? Right, your breathbecomes shorter and faster, maybe even panting uncontrollably.We could all benefit from mastering the art of Tantric breathing…• relaxed,• through the mouth, and• deep into the belly.This kind of full breathing lowers the heart rate and can help dissipate the tension of arousal.Breathing through the mouth is more physical and sensual as opposed to breathing through thenose that tends to put the attention in the mind.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 49So, one of the best ways to relax when excited is to learn to breathe slower and deeper.Further, it helps to interrupt the stress response you may experience during exciting or anxiousmoments of lovemaking.Breathing Tantrically is such a basic part of running energy that we could go on and onabout going slow and savoring. Actually, a great way to learn how to do a Tantric Breath is byrecognizing it has four parts…• in,• pause,• out,• pause.We’re not talking about holding your breath as long as you can, just not rushing ahead to thenext in or out. Simply pause for a distinct moment between inhaling and exhaling, and exhalingand inhaling so you can notice what is going on.Making SoundsNext, you have a chance to practice one of the most powerful of the four cornerstones,sound.• Do you moan at all during lovemaking?• Does it make you feel self-conscious?• How about when you’re coming?Sound is one of the most powerful cornerstones of ecstasy. The same nerves that regulateyour voicebox are connected to your jewels. When your orgasmic reflexes are working,moaning with pleasure comes naturally. To repress your voice requires energy. If you didn’t,you’d have that much more energy to fuel your passion.The more noise you make, the more passionate you’ll feel inside. The more passionate youfeel inside, the more passionate you appear. And guess what, the more passionate you appear,the more you’ll feel inside. It’s a self-reinforcing loop.That is, once you get over any self-consciousness you might feel. So many of us learn thatsex is naughty when we’re growing up that we inherit a cultural shyness about showing we’reenjoying ourselves. We don’t want anyone to hear. They might discover that you’d doing “it.”Oh my God, what if they found out?By the way, guys tend to be more quiet than women. Isn’t that interesting?You realize that this programming is nonsense for both genders, don’t you? Here’s yourchance to get over it. Just remind yourself that pleasure is your divine birthright, you’re entitledto as much ecstasy as you can conjure up. Sounding off is one way to amplify your sensations.If you’re in the least self-conscious about being overheard, be sure to find a quiet placewhere no one can hear you no matter how loud you get.Visualizing EnergyNext we’re going to add the visualization of energy along with your breathing, pumping,and sounding. Since energy flows where attention goes, just imagining sexual juice andelectricity somewhere in your body, something will eventually happen.You already knew that the mind was the most powerful sex organ, right?We’re going to begin working with your energy centers, chakras, in a big way. These are thevortices where energy tends to collect and swirl around at different places inside your body.You inner flute is the energy channel near your spine that connects your chakras.Remember to keep all your senses open. If you feel any sensations, no matter how subtle,visualize your breath passing through where you feel them. In this way, the breath adds fuel toAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 50a small fire, making it flare up. Even if you don’t feel much, imagine that you do and breatheinto the body parts you want to energize.Pelvic RockingThe four cornerstones of Supreme Bliss include movement. PC pumps are powerful internalmotions, but we need to include the rest of your body.Pelvic Rocking is a rotation of your pelvic area. Some have likened it to riding a horse, butwe prefer to compare it to slow deep sexual union when you’re on top. With your weight onyour knees and hands over your lover, the only way you can penetrate deeply is by either doingpush-ups or by rocking your pelvis forwards and backwards. The latter is what we’re adding toyour repertoire here.PRACTICE: Orgasmic BreathingPurposeTo combine all the components of Orgasmic Breathing into one comfortable unifiedwhole.DescriptionWe’ve broken down the individual parts of Orgasmic Breathing into discreet steps soyou could get understand them. When we’re working privately with clients, you guidethem to practice each one separately. If you run into any coordination trouble duringthis practice, we encourage you to try them separately.But really, once you learn to coordinate them all, Orgasmic Breathing is just doingone unified thing. Most people do these things naturally together during ecstatic sex, sowhy not use them consciously?1. POSITIONUse whatever position you want as long as it allows free pelvic movement.2. RELAXINGSpend a few minutes getting comfortable, watching your breath, and releasing anymuscle tension. Keep your eyes closed.3. TANTRIC BREATHINGStart Tantric breathing.4. ROCKINGRock one way on the inbreath, the other on the outbreath.5. PC PUMPAdd the PC pump on the inbreath.6. SOUNDSMake sounds as you start to feel good.7. VISUALIZEVisualize the energy coming into your first chakra and being pumped up your innerflute by your PC contractions. During your first practices, aim to raise your sexualenergy just up to the heart chakra. Of course, you can practice moving the energy up toany chakra, all the way to the crown of the head. Do what feels best in the moment.8. ENJOYEnjoy for a few minutes.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 519. SYNCHRONIZEIf you want, try this with a partner. Sit across from each with your eyes closed, doingthe above steps. When one of you gets in the flow, open you eyes. When the secondpartner opens their eyes, coordinate breathing in and out together at the same pace. Canyou feel each other’s energy?AfterthoughtsYou may have to practice a few times to get the pieces working together. Once youdo, just practice this combined exercise several times a week for a few weeks for about15 minutes.Orgasmic Breathing is the primary method of channeling energy when you’re makinglove. It may require repeated practice because at first it’s subtle for most people. Onceyou get it, it’s really exciting loveplay. Really gets our juices flowing when we do itbefore maithuna.Later in this ebook, you’ll find lots of chances to practice as you discover triggers likeclio and the Sacred Gate. Oh, yes, some partner practices to develop the knack in thesack are coming, too.3.6 Closing SectionWell, that wraps up the Kundalini Energy Chapter. Hopefully, you’re increasing yoursensitivity to your chakras, your inner flute, and Kundalini energy. By tuning in and practicing,soon you’ll be able to stream. That’s where those awesome cosmic climaxes and spiritualtransformations occur that we call Tantric Orgasm.If you’re in a big hurry to read on and dive through the pleasures awaiting you on the otherside of the Sacred Gate, please please please start doing daily PC practices. More than anything,this could be the key to catapulting your ecstasy to new and unheard of levels.You’ve learned to relax, be more sensitive, breathe, make sounds, visualize energy flow, andpump. You could spend weeks really perfecting all these foundations of the four cornerstonesof Orgasmic Breathing. We encourage you to do a little practicing regularly so you’ll be able toapply these fundamental skills automatically while you’re making love.Next, we’ll employ these exact tools to heighten turn-on, maintain excitement, and learn tosavor pleasure during the Tantric LovePlay Chapter.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 52Chapter 4: Tantric LovePlay”In coupling, the friction of the man’s member calms the woman’s excitement. But it is in signsof affection, kissing and caressing, that she finds her pleasure.” —– from the Kama Sutratranslated by Alain Danielou4.1 Opening SectionPurposesThe purposes of this chapter are to…• Learn to make any kind of loveplay exciting and complete in itself.• Open sexual communication channels.• Practice Tantric touch and Kama Sutra embraces.Savor Every InstantIf you’re like most women, you’ll probably enjoy Sacred Gate only play after extendedwarm-up. Because it’s a kind of tissue that swells with arousal, you may not even feel it at first.But you have to understand the Tantric approach that we find works best in all situations.Don’t establish goals, set expectations, and plan a detailed agenda for loveplay. Instead,experiment with impulses and fantasies that strike you as fun in the moment. Be playful,spontaneous, and enjoy the journey.Although we’ve already described some of the many different ways that Tantric Sex differsfrom “regular” or “normal” sex, our use of foreplay is another one of those distinctions. Theword foreplay implies something that you do before the main event. The further implication isthat it’s of lesser value.To a Tantrika (a Tantric adept), any sensation can be the catalyst for a huge flow of passionall by itself. When your energy channels are open, you can circulate and exchange the forces oforgasm even without jewel (genitals) play. When we do experience orgasm from physicalstimulation, it’s often a continuous rising experience without an explosive crescendo.So “before” and “after” lose their relevance.What is Tantric LovePlay?That’s why you won’t see us using the word foreplay much. We don’t want to discount thepower that’s available to you with little things that can create so many other valuable feelings,sensations, and titillations.Instead, throughout the rest of the book, you’ll mostly see references to loveplay and Tantricplay.From the moment you begin to change the feel of the space around you, you are beingsexual. You are using erotic, orgasmic, Kundalini energy.The instant your eyes meet those of your lover’s, you feel tingling inside. The first touch iselectric, sending chills and shivers throughout your being. As you honor your beloved and offerthanks for being with you at this time, tears may spring to your eyes. You may feel a strongstirring in your yoni or vajra (vagina or penis) long before you take your clothes off.This is Tantric LovePlay.We urge you to not miss a single tingle, a tiny shiver, or the subtlest energy surge. This issurely as much sex as anything else you’ll ever do. It’s also an essential prerequisite to arousethe Goddess in your beloved.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 53Juicy Things To Look Forward ToIn Jeffre’s ebook Intimacy, she quoted a recent study that found the average length ofloveplay at 15 minutes and maithuna (sexual union or intercourse) at 10. We’re well aware that,for maximum enjoyment, the average woman requires 35 to 45 minutes of erotic warm-up to gether juices flowing adequately.Which means the average lover stops 10 to 20 minutes short of peak female pleasure. Whichmakes us really worry about the less than average lovers.Maybe then you can understand why there’s a dearth of orgasms in the world. If you’re in ahurry in the sack, learning about G-Spot massage may not make quickies all that much betterthan they are now.Which explains the purpose of this chapter: experimenting with a wide array of sensitive,sensual, sexual tips to get you both turned-on. Though we’ll delve into touching, kissing, andlicking, you’ll find as much emphasis on opening your hearts, tuning your senses, andconnecting your feelings. That’s because the keys are presence, consciousness, and energy flow,not simply technique. Tantric ritual plays a part here, as does the Kama Sutra andcommunication techniques from modern psychology.4.2 IntimacyWomen Love Words From The HeartIt’s often said that women get turned on in the heart first and in the jewels (genitals) later,whereas men are just the opposite. When men get turned on in the jewels, the energy moves tothe heart.Although there are always exceptions to this kind of blanket generalizations, we believe it’ssafe to assume that most women, most of the time, like to have their mind and heart stimulatedin the 24 to 48 hours before the actual “date.”Jeffre says “It’s turns me on when Somraj says ‘I love you.” Many women feel this way. Don’twait until the urge hits you.Guys, let her know how much you care for her, now. Tell her how much you think abouther, how much you desire her. Let her know how much you’re looking forward to your timealone with her.Women respond very positively to words and touch that convey feelings of love andaffection. Women seem to like words about love, sex, and relationship and feel they’re veryimportant. Often men don’t have feelings as strong as women about verbalization of love, etc.If you’re a guy who feels uncomfortable with words, we humbly suggest that you practice, alot. Nothing will get you more of what you want than being able to verbalize feelings ofaffection for your woman. Read a book or two and then write out what you want to say.Practice letting the words tumble over your tongue and lips. Now, do it with your partner.Try something like this… “Honey, I’m having trouble concentrating at work. My heart isswelling with thoughts about your soft skin, your bright eyes, your sweet scent. Please don’t bewearing much when I get home early.”By the way, women, guys like romantic attention as well.Intimacy Is A Turn-On for WomenIntimacy is the emotional closeness that truth-telling and feeling loved can bring. For mostwomen, it heightens their turn-on when a guy learns how to talk about his feelings withhonesty and heartfelt expression instead of blame or judgment.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 54Intimacy can also be about sharing fantasies and playing them out. Often the fantasieslurking inside are pretty kinky so too many lovers feel uncomfortable sharing them with theirbeloved.Moving past this inhibition can be exciting on multiple levels. The truth-telling is a turn-onbecause of the increased sense of closeness. Plus the content of most any fantasy can really getyour sexual motor going big time.Jeffre’s ebook, Intimacy, A Green Light for Red Hot Sex and A Lifetime of Loving, has manyuseful exercises to enhance intimacy and arousal, as well as sharing fantasies. You can see moredetails and get your copy at….PRACTICE: Intimacy CommunicationPurposeThrough opening up your sexual communication, this practice will increase yourintimacy and give you useful information that you can use throughout this chapter andthe rest of this ebook.DescriptionWomen tend to enjoy 30 to 60 minutes of loveplay, while men may request and desireless. Only you know how your body responds and what feels best.This practice asks you to discuss, as specifically as possible, the types of loveplay youlike and the amount of time you like it. Go over the following questions separately andthen share your answers. Let the dialogue flow where it will until you feel heard andunderstand and you know more about what your beloved prefers.By the way, this is a starting place. As you become more practiced in these ways, youmay want three to six hours of Tantric LovePlay. Who knows how far you’ll go?1. COMFORTDo I give (or receive) most comfortably?2. PRACTICEI would like to practice receiving (or giving) more…3. HONESTYSometimes I’m not honest with you about what I really want.Yes No Here’s an example…4. TIMEThe amount of time I usually like to spend in loveplay is….5. KINDSThe kinds of loveplay I like best include… (touching, massage, kissing, talking,fellatio, cunnilingus, etc.)4.3 Choose The Mood You Want Section”You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” —–PlatoCreate Your Sacred SpaceWant to increase the depth of your total experience? Arranging the setting, consciouslyinvoking the kind of energy you want, and discussing your feelings in the moment are essential.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 55As we noted already, every sentiment, every nuance, every tingle can be a stepping stone toecstasy. Notice and relish them.In Tantra we use sacred ritual to set the tone, clear the energy, and help each partnerbecome fully present. This takes a little time, but we’re sure you’ll find the ecstasy you’llultimately create will make it well worth the effort.Be sure you answer and discuss the Partnering Questions, your desires, concerns, andboundaries, before each encounter. Checking in with yourself in the moment and then withyour sweetie builds on the intimacy you’re creating.As described in the Sacred Tantric Sexuality Chapter (see Creating A Sacred Space), wewant him to feel like cherished God and her to feel like a cherished Goddess.When you take a moment to honor the God or Goddess in your beloved, you’ll both be moredelighted to be together with eager anticipation. When you actually practice this kind ofopening ritual, you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes. You can quickly leave the stressesand strains of the outside world where they belong, outside your Sacred Space.Other TipsOne wonderful way to accentuate the sanctity of your love and the consciousness of yourunderlying passion is how you disrobe. Tantrikas don’t drop their dirty underwear and sockson the floor before jumping into bed. Instead, slowly remove each other’s clothing one littlepiece at a time while caressing, nuzzling, and whispering sweet endearments to each newmorsel of flesh uncovered.Perhaps you’ll want to bathe together. After a day of busy life activity, this is a wonderfultransition to a more sensual mood. Bathe, soap, rub, and slide with each other. Flirt andtantalize with all your parts: lips, eyes, fingers, tongue, breasts, jewels, and any other part ofyour body that wants to join in. This is how you make heaven on earth yours.Spend some time unwinding by just being together. Look deeply into each other’s eyes.Synchronize your breathing. Reach out with your consciousness to feel your beloved’s energybody.A practice that we do often is called the melting hug. You slowly come closer together untilyour first contact. Then you melt your bodies into each other with as much skin touching aspossible. Relax and cling to each other. Let your breathing synchronize. A beautiful side benefitis the merging of energies by closely connecting each chakra.Kissing As An Art FormKissing is a wonderful form of loveplay because it stimulates so many different energycenters. It’s a sweet expression of affection that connects with the heart. Your vision, minds, andthird eyes are totally focused on each other. It turns many lovers on with resulting hardness orwetness that encourages the mood for heavier exchange. In fact, combining this with a meltinghug enlivens even more chakra exchange.Kissing all parts of the body can be divine play. Try lightly kissing your partners chakrasbeginning with the 7th (at the top of the head) and ending with the 1st (the perineum). Oooh lala, yummy, yummy.If you want to be more elaborate, kiss a chakra and then state what it is about your partneryou love and adore about the particular chakra you are focusing on.Shortly we’ll reveal many more of the secrets of the Kama Sutra about kissing and how itprovides great Tantric LovePlay.Awakening Your Beloved’s SensesAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 56Tantra is all about staying in the body, opening the senses, and feeling the ecstasy. There aremany ways to increase awareness of your body and open the senses. You can dance. You canwalk in the forest. You can meditate.You can blindfold your beloved and titillate them with tastes, smells, touch, and sounds.Then you can remove the blindfold, and offer glorious sights as you slowly and sensuouslyreveal your naked body. Every tried acting out a silent fantasy in front of your darling? Howabout self-pleasuring while they’re tied down?The range of possibilities for building anticipation is enormous. Use your imagination andsurprise your beloved. Your loveplay will never get old and stale.EXERCISE: Mood Discussion QuestionsHere are some statements to complete by reflecting, journalling, or talking…• I plan to do the following to create a Sacred Space before we make love…• Here’s how I intend to heighten intimacy and connection during our loveplay…• Here’s what I’ll experiment with to awaken my beloved’s senses…4.4 Communication Section“In Tantrism, we do not go toward some external thing. On the contrary, we direct ourselvestoward our core, our own minds. Tantric practice demands nothing more than this return to theSelf…By observing the mind we will find…the strength to act without being subject to filters orlimitations that we have accepted or created, the power to fully communicate with life.” —–Daniel Odier in Tantric QuestTalking About SexWe already discussed communication when we prescribed titillation, flirtation, andintimacy. Communication is also essential for exchanging information so that you can enhanceyour own and your partner’s pleasure.Learning to talk with your partner about sex requires guts and practice. Sometimes womenwant to protect their man’s ego so they’re too polite. Often they’re unsure if they even have theright to ask for anything other than what they’re getting. Too many men don’t know how, why,or when they want something different.It’s great to create an intention together to be able to talk with each other about sex openly,honestly, and often. Admit it if it’s scary if you’ve never done it before. Talk about your fearsand the fears you imagine your partner has. This is a major frontier for most couples.That’s partly why we urge you to discuss the Partnering Questions before each practice orlovemaking no matter how long you’ve been together. Don’t worry if you feel you’re not doingthem very eloquently at first. Whatever you do is good for intimacy and good practice to growyour communication skills.Sometimes it’s necessary to coach or redirect your partner when you’re being physicallyintimate. If you make an agreement beforehand about how you want to communicate duringsex, it can be much less challenging. No one likes to feel criticized or put down, mostparticularly while in bed with a lover.Hopefully you’re taking advantage of the discussion questions we’ve included after eachmajor section. These are primarily designed to encourage this whole process of talking freelyabout sex. After reading, think back about your reactions, write your answers to the questions,and then share with your partner. Gradually you’ll transform the intimacy of your connectionand create the foundation to transmute subtle energy into awesome ecstasy.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 57Be RealThe single biggest couple’s communication foul-up is when one or both partners aren’tcompletely forthcoming and authentic with each other. In less formal words, this means whenyou’re acting phony.Do you…• Feel that your darling is responsible for satisfying you in any way?• Believe that your partner is supposed to know how to satisfy you?• Act passive when you’re not getting what you want and then complain afterwards?• Wait for that magical moment when something outside of yourself will sweep youaway?Tantra teaches that whether you’re female or male, you’re 100% totally responsible for yourturn-on and your own orgasms.By this we don’t mean that all good lovin’ is self-lovin’. We mean that great sex is apartnership in which it takes two to tango.There are still too many men who think they’re failures if their women don’t orgasm. Thereare too many women who don’t have a clue what will make them feel the ultimate in sexualpleasure. Some even pressure their lover to have an orgasm to soothe their own egos.Maybe each of you has a ways to go to learn about your subtle orgasmic triggers and keys tosacred ecstasy. Regardless, the more you talk with your partner about what you want, thequicker you’ll both learn what you can do to get it.EXERCISE: Communication Discussion QuestionsHere are some statements to complete by reflecting, journalling, or talking…• I feel these sexual needs are understood and appreciated…• I want my beloved to better understand…• I feel shy or embarrassed talking about…Our JobIn essence, that’s what this ebook is all about. We don’t just want you to read it. We wantyou to study, communicate, and practice. All the wonderful, delicious, juicy stuff we’resuggesting is for you and your beloved partner to experiment with.You’ve set out on an exciting explorer’s program. Remember, your mindset will determinehow much you discover about the staggering ecstasy that’s lurking inside. Keep an open mind.Act like k**s playing doctor. Drop your expectations and cynicisms. Treat every experience asfresh and new. Only if you get out of your own way can you let the dormant energy deepwithin transport you to new and unexpected places.So practice, practice, practice. We know some of this stuff is new and seems weird at first. Ifyou try it, we think you’ll like it. Either way, we won’t tell on you. And don’t just do theexercises once. Practice may not make you perfect, but it does get better and better. Every timeyou do it, you’ll learn something new. We guarantee it.Communicate, Communicate, CommunicateAs a marriage counselor for many many years, Jeffre has learned that the single biggestreason women get turned off to sex (after religion) is their fear of telling their men the truthabout their sexual responses, desires, and wants.If you want to deepen and supercharge your sex life, communication must begin at thebeginning. That’s where the following practice, How To Touch Me, picks up — at the beginning.Going deeper with communication throughout your loveplay helps tremendously to createintimacy as well. When receiving, women need to explain what they desire, what they feel, andAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 58how they’re reacting. Although this is true of men too, our focus right now is preparing thefemale for Sacred Gate Orgasm.Partners in general, and men in particular, do not appreciate being in the dark (figuratively)when they’re trying to please you. They need and want to feel confident that they’resuccessfully turning you on.Women are different from each other and from one moment to the other. This is confusingto the average guy who’s always learning about what women want. You’ll be better off it youjust accept these observations as fact…• No two women’s sexual response is identical.• Women like variety, different things at different times.• Hormones change at different times of the month.• Emotional beings like women have unpredictable moods.• Sensitive bodies, like female ones, may respond strongly to stress, exercise,medication, health challenges, and menopause.OK guys, you’ve been warned. Assume nothing. Remain open to the whims of the Goddessand you’ll be fine.PRACTICE: How To Touch MeDescriptionThis practice facilitates letting your lover know in advance what you want, where youwant it, and how you want it. At last you can reveal your innermost sensual, sexual, anderotic desires and how you can get it from your beloved.PurposeThe purpose of this practice is to let your beloved know, in explicit detail, how youlike to be approached, spoken to, touched, excited, and in what order.1. DECIDEDecide who will go first. You can also decide if you both want to be nude. The firstspeaker can also disrobe, with seduction, if that’s fun for both of you. This makes yourconnection playful and serious at the same time.2. DESCRIBE & DEMONSTRATEDescribe and demonstrate the ways you like to be approached: verbally or nonverbally,ritually or playfully, softly or roughly, or all the above. Specifically, what kindof touching do you like where? Touch yourself in each place as you talk about it. Do youwant talking or kissing or other things first? Stroke your body as you want your lover to.Demonstrate on yourself what turns you on most. You can also do the same to yourpartner if that helps. If you’re not careful, this will probably turn both of you on (joke).Yippee!3. APPROACHING JEWELSExplain how much warm-up your body needs before you like intense focus on yourjewels. What do you prefer to happen and how extensively before your jewels areapproached? We like to lightly brush and briefly connect our hands with our beloved’sjewels while awakening the rest of their body. Do you want your butt played with, yourfeet or back rubbed, or your head scratched first? Don’t hold anything back. The cleareryou are, the more likely you are to get exactly what you want.4. JEWEL PLAYAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 59Show your yoni or vajra. Don’t be shy. Expose all your parts, naming them and yourfeelings about them. Demonstrate and describe how yoni or vajra likes to be approachedwith eyes, fingers, lips, etc. Women, show your lover how to touch your outer lips, innerlips, yoni opening, urethral meatus (pee hole), and yoni’s inside. If you know whereyour G-Spot is and what kind of stroking you like there, add that. If not, it will soon betime to experiment in the Sacred Landscape Chapter.5. DON’T ASSUMEIf you’re in a long-term relationship, please don’t assume your sweetie knowseverything about your body. Or anything for that matter. We bet there are things youdon’t know yet yourself. The observer in this practice will surely learn something newand maybe you will too. Both of you should feel free to ask questions if somethingimportant is glossed over, surprising, or left out. Ask for more detail or clarification anytime you’re confused. While one of you is being fully exposed, the other should reallytake everything in. You both want the new information to stick.6. SWITCHExchange roles so you both get a chance to reveal your innermost sexual desires andpreferences. By the time the second partner has completed this practice, it’s quite likelyyou’ll both be very turned on. Play, go for it, do what comes naturally. We never wantyou to miss an opportunity for a hot time together. You can continue reading andlearning later.LovePlay FeedbackThere are ways to talk to your partner that can improve your loveplay. And we bet you’vediscovered that there are some approaches you definitely want to avoid. When you think aboutit, the exercises in this ebook are a perfect opportunity to play, practice, and communicatewithout judgment. Let’s take a look at how to make this work best.When you’re in the throes of lovemaking that’s not feeling super great, you’ve probablyalready bypassed many opportunities for sexual communication. We don’t recommend calling asudden halt to your play if you can avoid it. No matter how gently and diplomatically youconfront it, interrupting pleasure can shock, sadden, and put down your lover.Especially if he’s male and has an ego. And who doesn’t.If there’s something really awful your partner does once or repeatedly, talk it over whenyou’re NOT in bed. Wait until the next day and explain how important this is to you.Phrase your feedback around new wants and needs you’re discovering about yourself. If itseems appropriate, demonstrate exactly what you mean. You see, another opportunity for theHow To Touch Me practice.Do your best not to indict your partner’s desirability or lovability. Don’t compare to otherlovers. Make it clear this isn’t a black mark against a man’s masculinity.Schedule this discussion carefully. Be sure you have plenty of time to clarify and resolve theissue. If man’s ego is involved, it may take more than one session. Keep reassuring him andkeep loving him.Sexual Communication TechniquesHere are several techniques we recommend to help giver and receiver stay in close touchduring Tantric practice or freeform lovemaking.”Responsiveness” and the “Feedback Sandwich” are prime tools receivers use to guide thepleasure they’re getting.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 60″Yes/No Questions” and “Check-Ins” are for the giver to stimulate communication whenneeded.1. ResponsivenessThe more lovers integrate Orgasmic Breathing into all aspects of their loveplay, theless verbal communication is needed. Moving, breathing, and sounding are a languageall their own that requires few if any words. We call a passionate lover who shows theirturn-on “responsive.” The opposite would be cold or even frigid. We wonder how manylovers have been labeled frigid when actually they were super excited but too “polite” toshow it.Don’t hold back. Show your turn-on. It’s exciting to let it out. It excites your lover.Responsiveness creates a non-verbal feedback cycle that can take you both higher andhigher. And sensitive lovers who plug into your visible cues can respond to whatreceivers need and want in the moment with little need to talk.2. Feedback SandwichAs you’re learning Orgasmic Breathing, connecting with a new lover, and getting toknow what your partner really wants, some talking is essential. How can you make itconstructive and help you get what you want? Criticizing or even seeming like you’recritical won’t.For example, you may want your lover to slow down at some times and speed up atothers. You know not to say “wrong, too fast” and “slow down, dummy.” But if youronly comments direct your lover to change speed, it’s easy for them to assume thatnothing they’re doing is feeling good.The Feedback Sandwich is a simple three-step process a receiver can use toconstructively redirect what a lover is doing while it’s happening…a. Compliment: A positive comment about what’s going on.b. Change: A request to try something different.c. Acknowledgment: Appreciation for how it feels better.The Feedback Sandwich balances appreciation with coaching. In this case it wouldsound something like…a. Compliment: “Your touch is so exciting. That feels really great.”b. Change: “I wonder how it would feel if it was a little slower.”Then, as soon as the touch slows down….c. Acknowledgment: “Oh, yes, that’s just what I mean. That feels soooo good!”3. Check-InsWhen you’re making love, you’re a team, not a mind-reader. Just as the FeedbackSandwich is the responsibility of a receiver wanting a change, it’s the responsibility ofthe giver of pleasure to inquire from time to time about the receiver’s experience. We callthis Checking-In.Any major change in speed, position, or direction is a great spot to check-in with yourbeloved, i.e. “May I get between your legs so I can go faster?”Before you enter yoni with fingers or vajra, ask “Is yoni ready to be visited?”If vajra starts losing hardness, ask “Would vajra prefer something different?”If your lover’s sounds, breathing, or motions suddenly change, ask “Did somethinghappen?”These questions prompt the receiver to look inside and keep you informed aboutwhat’s happening. Check-ins at appropriate times increase a giver’s confidence in theirAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 61ability to give pleasure. They increase a receiver’s confidence in getting the pleasuredesired.You’ll find this kind of communication very useful during oral sex, hand-jobs, yoniplay, Sacred Gate massage, male G-Spot strokes, and maithuna as later chapters willexplain.4. Yes/No QuestionsCheck-ins are a great way for giver’s to ask for guidance. Giver mental tensiondestroys the mood of lovemaking as much as physical tension does. You’ll learn moreabout this later in the ebook. Yet, too much communication can bring a receiver who’srelishing the sensations in their body squarely into their head. So then the receiver losesthe mood.Using Yes/No Questions solves this dilemma. This is the perfect response for a giverwho is unsure about something or needs guidance. They simply can ask a directquestion that can be answered with a yes or no or a shake of the head. This requiresminimal thought process by the receiver and therefore is much less likely to interferewith their pleasure.A series of yes/no questions can provide all the guidance a giver needs…”Faster?” “Ah-ha.””More?” “Mmmmm.””Slower?” “A bit.””All right?” “Yes.””Too much?” “No, more.”PRACTICE: Sexual Communication PracticePurposeTo incorporate sexual communication techniques into your loveplay.DescriptionThis at first glance appears to be a loveplay practice. Well, it is. Here’s a chance to tryout some of the intimacy and sexuality ideas you’ve communicated about in theprevious practices.The added aspect of this session is to practice the communication skills we justreviewed.1. SACRED SPACEUse whatever ritual actions and props help you make your play space sacred. Put onsexy music that turns you on. Acknowledge each other spiritually with a HeartSalutation.2. PARTNERING QUESTIONSReview the previous techniques about communication. Choose what kinds ofloveplay you’ll practice this time. Discuss desires, concerns, and boundaries.3. RESPONSIVENESSDuring your first practice session, include Orgasmic Breathing as part of your warmup process. Put extra emphasis during your loveplay on showing your excitementthrough your breath, sounds, and movement.4. FEEDBACK SANDWICHAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 62Next, experiment with some new loveplay while the receiver practices using theFeedback Sandwich.5. CHECK-INSWhen you’re ready to move on to the next phase of practice, encourage the giver tofocus on checking-in whenever you agree it’s appropriate.6. YES/NO QUESTIONSYour next target is for the giver to use yes/no questions for minimum interruption ofthe receiver’s reverie. When you find yourself in the midst of high passion for thereceiver, giver, use yes/no questions to get feedback.7. CLOSINGClose the Sacred Space using whatever actions seem appropriate, including givingeach other a Heart Salutation and giving thanks for the trust and intimacy you shared.AfterthoughtsFeel free to repeat each phase of this practice several times until the techniquesbecome second nature. After each session, share how the techniques helped, hindered,and how you could employ them better.4.5 Tantric Touch Section”Slow down. Remember that this is not a race, and you are not in a hurry. This is also not theOlympics, you have nothing to prove — you and your new friend are setting out to do things thatfeel good with your bodies. Touch feels good. Stroking feels good. Taking time feels good. Slowdown enough so that you can truly feel what you are doing. Worrying about the future will nothelp you get there: focus on what you are feeling in the present. Erections and orgasms mightcome, might go, but you can never go wrong by doing what feels good.” —– Dossie Easton &Catherine A. Liszt in The Ethical SlutEcstasy With The Slightest TouchMany lovers are on the lookout for greater and greater stimulation. This often takes the formof harder and faster touching, licking, or pumping. We’re going to describe just the opposite –how you can train your body and your nervous system to orgasm with the slightest touch.We call it Tantric Touch, the ultimate sensual massage through skin-to-skin contact with fullconsciousness. This means both giver and receiver are fully awake with all senses wide open tothe physical and as well subtle energies.A giver of Tantric touch is totally present, totally conscious, totally attentive to what they’redoing. They fully feel every sensation they’re giving. Just being super sensitive opens the energyconduits between lovers. They focus all their concentration on flowing energy from their heart,through their arm and hand, into their fingers.Of course, this is great advice for the receiver too. Be totally present to the feelings,sensations, energies. But a giver who touches any body part Tantrically derives as muchpleasure as the one who receives Tantrically.Loving The Largest Sex OrganIt’s more an approach to awakening another’s largest sex organ, their skin, than it is atechnique. Tantric Touch uses one of the four cornerstones of Supreme Bliss, presence, tomagnify and enhance sensation. Your entire being reaches out from your fingertip to make loveto the space, skin, and tissue of your beloved.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 63Tantric Touch is not a deep the****utic massage. It’s soft, slow, and sensuous, usually donewithout oil.When many of our students begin learning Tantric Touch, their minds are busy, their handsgo too fast, and they don’t feel anywhere near what they could. This is why we teach them tobegin as a meditation, emptying the mind, calming the spirit, and relaxing the body. Only thenare the giver’s energy channels open enough to flow love through body contact.A receiver of Tantric touch is far from passive. They also enter a calm, relaxed state andreach out with their senses. They put all of their attention on the feelings being created in theirskin. They use the four cornerstones — presence, breath, sound, and movement — to turn thesubtle sparks jumping between the giver’s skin and theirs into a waterfall of sensation.PRACTICE: Tantric TouchPurposeTo learn to give and receive ecstatic Tantric Touch opening new pathways to bliss.1. PREPARATIONSLay out a sarong, put on some soft sensual music, light some candles. Do a HeartSalutation. Discuss the Partnering Questions. Decide who will begin as giver andreceiver. Receiver, make as much skin available for contact as you’re comfortable with.The “nuder” the better.2. PREPARATIONSStart with whatever it takes to get the receiver’s body relaxed and their mind present.Meditate, breathe together, just look into each other’s eyes silently. Settle in.3. TOUCHDear giver, extend your heart energy down your arm and into your fingertips. Rubyour hands together rapidly 25 times to warm and energize them. Very slowly, and wemean VERY SLOWLY, start moving your hand over the Goddess’s skin. At first,massage about 3/4 inch (2 cm) above the surface. The inside of the arm is a great area forstarting this practice. Believe us, both of you will feel something.4. RECEIVER BREATHESAt the same time, the receiver reinforces what the giver is doing by using the fourcornerstones of Supreme Bliss…Breath — deep and slow,Sound — loud as you can on the exhale,Movement — tightening and relaxing the PC muscle while moving the pelvis, andPresence — total focus on the sensations you’re experiencing.5. CLOSERNow, giver, approach the skin even closer. Make it as close as you can withouttouching, except for a few hairs now and then. As our beloved Dr. V says: “If you’retouching, you’re too close. If you aren’t, you’re too far away.” Continue VERY SLOWLYmoving your hand down the arm, gradually including the back or neck. This willprobably be more of a powerful learning if you don’t start with the jewels. We alreadyknow how sensitive they are.6. RECEIVER BREATHESNow, sweet giver, focus your mind and let your energy flow as well. Touch now withcomplete concentration. Breathe with the giver to energize you both. Slowly, withAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 64consciousness, begin stroking the rest of your beloved’s body with this sacred, ecstatic,Tantric Touch. This is slow, soft, deliberate, conscious, and loving. No deep tissue work,no fast pumping, no maximum friction. Follow your beloved’s cues to know where to goand what to do. With the subtlest of touch, see how turned-on and high the receiver cango from the inside. Enjoy!7. CLOSEBring your light touch to a close. Hug, hold, or lie next to each other. Feel thereceiver’s subtle excitement and energy. Talk about how the experience was for each ofyou. Do a Heart Salutation.8. SWITCHSwitch roles right away or take a little break first for the receiver to assimilate the newsensations.Sensual MassageAfter all this soft work, a full sensual massage is a delightful next step. Where Tantric Touchprovides the minimum of stimulation to the receiver, sensual massage adds maximum turn-on.Certainly you use the two-way energy exchange you just learned. But now you add lots ofvariety onto the foundation of Tantric Touch.Sensual massage is also soft and slow focusing on long strokes with varying pressures andtextures. Don’t ignore any part of the body. Though this isn’t designed to be a hand-job,brushing the jewels occasionally pumps lots of excitement into everything else you feel.Vary the pressure from a light tickle to somewhat firm. Check in with your partner aboutwhat feels good, but remember, desires may change in the moment.Sensual massage is not a the****utic process designed to work all the muscles deeply. It’snot supposed to be hard unless your partner tells you that deep tissue work creates the mostturn-on. This will be the exception.We encourage the use of feathers, silk cloth, soft fur, and other items that titillate yourbeloved. Some enjoy rubbing with terry cloth or a hairbrush to awaken the senses. Others prefermassage with talcum powder or corn starch for that extra sensuousness. Be sure to do thisbefore you apply any oil as the pasty combination isn’t particularly appealing to either party.Varied TitillationPatting, tapping, and light scratching can be wonderful adjuncts to what we usually think ofas massage. We love the butterfly, unexpected flitting taps with your fingertips all over thebody with no pattern. Two things that turn Somraj on the fastest are scratching in the middle ofhis back and all over his scalp. Jeffre’s favorite is tapping on her sacrum. Different strokes,right? In the next section you’ll get lots of new ideas from the Kama Sutra.We like to start at the periphery — hands, feet, head — and gradually move closer and closerto center. Light random Tantric Touch of the jewels is a welcome addition and great teasing forbig things to come. In coming chapters, we’ll share how to touch yoni inside and out.After titillating the skin with different textures and motions, ask your partner if they want tocontinue sensual massage with oil. If the answer is yes, remember what your goal is: furtherawaken the senses and help your partner feel sexual arousal all over without concentrating onthe jewels.Many couples in today’s modern world own a massage table. This can be create some trulydelightful loveplay. The giver has access to the whole body of the receiver with minimum stressAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 65or strain. And any decent table will support both of your weights if you can’t resist climbing onafter the massage.PRACTICE: Sensual MassagePurposeThis practice adds to the Tantric Touch practice, adding the wide range of variety ofsensual massage.1. PREPARATIONSLay out a sarong, put on some soft sensual music, light some candles. Get togetherany props you’ll need: oil, feathers, towels, etc. Do a Heart Salutation. Discuss thePartnering Questions. Decide who will begin as giver and receiver. Receiver, make asmuch skin available for contact as you’re comfortable with. The “nuder” the better.2. PREPARATIONSStart with whatever it takes to get the receiver’s body relaxed and their mind present.Meditate, breathe together, just look into each other’s eyes silently. Settle in.3. TOUCHGiver, begin with slow, subtle, sensuous Tantric Touch all over.4. RECEIVER BREATHESAt the same time, the receiver reinforces what the giver is doing by using the fourcornerstones of Supreme Bliss…Breath — deep and slow,Sound — loud as you can on the exhale,Movement — tightening and relaxing the PC muscle while moving the pelvis, andPresence — total focus on the sensations you’re experiencing.5. RECEIVER BREATHESNow, sweet giver, stroke your beloved’s entire body more and more sensuously. Varyyour strokes, pressure, and speed. Add patting, tapping, even vibrating. Follow yourdarling’s cues.6. OILIf your beloved chooses, warm some massage oil in your hands and anoint theirbody, one section at a time. Slip and slide with long strokes for maximum turn-on. Besure to drive by the jewels now and then.7. CLOSEBring your light touch to a close. Hug, hold, or lie next to each other. Feel thereceiver’s subtle excitement and energy. Talk about how the experience was for each ofyou. Close your Sacred Space with a Heart Salutation.8. SWITCHSwitch roles right away or take a little break for the receiver to assimilate the newsensations.4.6 Kama Sutra Embraces Section”Both lying with arms and legs entwined, they rub against each other and become deeplyentangled.” —– Vatsyayana in The Kama SutraAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 66A Broad Definition of EmbraceThe Kama Sutra details many preliminaries to sexual union under the heading of”embraces.” From that two-thousand year-old text on the sexual arts, we learn how the ancientIndians developed scratching, biting, kissing, and “the giving of blows” into a high art. Theyweren’t talking about blow jobs at this point.The Kama Sutra cautions that people of good taste don’t make these embraces violent. Wedon’t find it particularly Tantric to inflict severe pain and leave marks on your beloved’s body.As we said before, some lovers are so armored against sensation that they need the strongestpossible stimulation to get off.In contrast, our emphasis here is to learn to use this wide range of embraces subtly toincrease your beloved’s sensitivity. Although not every one of these strokes is going tocontribute to your personal delight, we want to review some of the best for you to experimentwith.Kama Sutra KissingThe Kama Sutra makes kissing into a glorious art form. It gives instructions about thedifferent varieties from pecking to vibrant to rubbing in different positions and life situations.Try dry and wet, hard and soft, licking and sucking, long and short, nibbling and holding. Youhave many more options to play with than tongue fencing and deep throating.Both the body and lips were fair game. The Indian love guide then describes “the kissinggame,” alternating giving and receiving for maximum excitement, which makes it eminentlyclear that kissing isn’t just for the lips.Kama Sutra LickingLicking is juicy fun. Try many of the same variations mentioned in kissing. Try them allover. Some women especially like it really sloppy wet.Slow is the key to ecstasy by licking. Stop if you get tired. Keep going if it’s turning you on.You’ll have your partner moaning and groaning with pleasure, and getting very wet or hard aswell.Kama Sutra Sucking & SqueezingRemember how you liked getting hickeys when you were a teenager? The edge of pain canbe very arousing for many. Beware, you may feel very naughty. Uh, oh!You can squeeze when you suck. You can squeeze with your lips, your fingers, your hands,your arms, your legs, and your yoni.For all it’s variety of kissing techniques, licking, and sucking all over the body, the KamaSutra wasn’t very big on oral sex with the jewels. If you are, by all means experiment.Kama Sutra BitingBiting can be light, medium or strong or anywhere in between. Biting lips can be very erotic.The Kama Sutra instructed lovers to bite hard enough to leave marks all around the breast in aneven pattern. These souvenirs were considered a mark of true love and an esteemed practice.Whatever floats your cork.The teeth can be used for scratching as well. Some men even like to have their vajra nibbledon. And some, like Somraj, scream bloody murder if you try it. Be careful, start very gently.Back off if your partner doesn’t like it. Always let the receiver be the guide.Kama Sutra ScratchingUse finger nails. The upper class Indians grew all their nails, or sometimes just one or two,extra long. They filed them to a sharp point just for giving pleasure.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 67Be sure to try long strokes and short ones too.PRACTICE: Kama Sutra EmbracesPurposeAs we review the various Kama Sutra embraces, you’ll have a chance to experiment todiscover what feels good and turns both giver and receiver on.1. PREPARATIONSLay out a sarong, put on some soft sensual music, light some candles. Get togetherany props you’ll need: oil, feathers, towels, etc. Do a Heart Salutation. Discuss thePartnering Questions. Decide who will begin as giver and receiver. Receiver, make asmuch skin available for contact as you’re comfortable with. The “nuder” the better.2. LIP KISSINGExperiment kissing each other’s lips and mouths. Be creative. If you get a great idea,try it out and then your partner to try it on you.3. BODY KISSINGExtend what you enjoyed on the lips to everywhere on the body. Don’t leave anythingout. Relax into and relish the sensations when you’re receiving.4. LICKINGNow try licking all those parts you kissed. Use the tip of the tongue, the flat, the sides,and circling.5. SUCKING & SQUEEZINGAnother trip around the world, this time applying suction and pressure with yourlips.6. BITINGExperiment with biting by gently applying your teeth in all manner of places on yourbeloved’s beautiful body. At first, stop short of leaving any marks. If requested, you cangradually use more pressure, being careful not to break the skin.7. SCRATCHINGYour hands are dying to get in on the act, we know. Using your nails, test outdifferent strokes, long and short, hard and soft, fast and slow, to discover what thedifferent parts of your beloved’s body prefers.8. CLOSEBring your light touch to a close. Hug, hold, or lie next to each other. Feel thereceiver’s subtle excitement and energy. Talk about how the experience was for each ofyou. What did you like doing and receiving the best and the least? Close your SacredSpace with a Heart Salutation.9. SWITCHSwitch roles right away or take a little break for the receiver to assimilate the newsensations.4.7 Other Juicy Ideas SectionWaking YoniAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 68In the Sacred Landscape and Sacred Gate Massage Chapters, you’ll discover manywonderful ways to touch yoni. Later on, our focus will be maximum pleasure at the height ofpassion. But that doesn’t mean yoni should be left out of any early loveplay when she’s cravingattention.After the How To Touch Me practice, you should have a pretty good idea of how yourwoman likes her yoni approached. If not, try it again and go deeper.Because yoni needs to feel safe before she can relax, the vast majority of women prefer aloving, slow approach. This means your beloved needs to feel safe, too. Women open naturallywhen they feel loved and desired for who they are.Most women don’t like their yoni touched as a surprise. Before you touch yoni with yourfingers or your mouth, be sure to ask your lovely woman…• “Is it okay if I touch yoni?” or• “Is yoni ready to be touched with my fingers?” or• “Would yoni like to feel my tongue now?”If she is moaning and writhing, you can be very playful, but it’s still a good idea for her tosay when she’s ready.Oral StimulationAs we’ve mentioned, in spite of its detailed pro-sex guidance, the Kama Sutra preferredwarm-up embraces leading quickly to maithuna, over lengthy oral sex.In Tantra, we don’t depend, declare, or insist on any “right” kind of stimulation. Instead, weurge you to seek out what you like, what gets your motor running, and what makes your juicesstart flowing. What floats your cork is purely personal.Since arousal is essential to awaken the Sacred Gate, we encourage you to experiment freelywith oral sex. The more you play with it and like it, the more uninhibited you’ll find yourself.Get creative and extend the spirit of the Kama Sutra embraces to mouth, lip, and tongueembraces. grandbetting yeni giriş Answer the questions below and talk with your beloved about it. Then play, play,playReceiving oral sex can be a powerful turn-on for both men and women, so much so that itcan lead to explosive orgasm that detracts from building energy and Sacred Gate play. So use itwisely and sparingly when you choose to do sexual healing or expand your repertoire with GSpotmassage or female ejaculation.If you want to know more about Tantric Oral Sex, be on the lookout for our ebook of thesame name.EXERCISE: Oral Discussion QuestionsHere are some statements to complete by reflecting, journalling, or talking…• The way I feel about giving oral sex is…• Yoni or vajra enjoys being kissed, licked, or sucked this way…• Here’s how clio enjoys being kissed, licked, sucked, or squeezed by a mouth…Safe, Smart, & Conscious SexSex with total consciousness is Tantric Sex. Tantra says “yes” to whatever you desire withconsciousness. Though we may advocate sexuality in any form you choose, we urge you not toact in an u*********s or unsafe manner.Serious STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) such as HIV (the AIDS virus) and Hepatitis aretransmitted through fluid exchange. Other STDs are transmitted through sexual contact.If you’re sexually active outside a long-term committed relationship, it behooves you to payattention to the levels of risk of the sex practices you choose to engage in. If you want to enjoyAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 69unprotected contact with your lover or you’re concerned about being infected, it’s your moralresponsibility to check it out before exchanging fluids. Your doctor of county health departmentcan provide you with tests for the health-threatening STDs.When we were first together, we talked openly about our sexual practices and decided veryquickly we trusted each other’s judgment and behavior. Even so, we got tested, used protectionfor several months, and then were tested again before we went fully skin to skin.Being Fully PresentIf either partner has any concerns about contracting any kind of infection (even a cold) orgetting pregnant, part of that person isn’t totally present for any loving experience you may behaving. It detracts from the presence cornerstone of Supreme Bliss.Fear of pregnancy can rob you of pleasurable sexual experiences. This could happen if awoman is changing forms of birth control or is using a method of birth control that isn’t asreliable as others. In this case, the man would be wise to use condoms until both feel confidentwith the new method of birth control.To prevent transmission of the most health-threatening diseases as well as most of theothers, you need to prevent the exchange of bodily fluids with partners who haven’t beentested. Barriers like condoms for sexual union and fellatio, plastic wrap or dental dams forcunnilingus, are universally recommended.What’s our bottom line? We avoid any sexual play with untested partners that would allowbodily fluid, mucous, blood, or ejaculate to contact an open wound, sore, or mucous membrane(such as inside yoni).4.8 Closing SectionTantric Sex is a conscious all-chakra affair. Use communication, build intimacy, make yourspace sacred. Teach each other what you like and try out new things. Touch sensuously, beresponsive, and respond to your beloved’s signals. Use wonderful resources like the KamaSutra to expand your repertoire. Be smart, be conscious, and have fun.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 70Chapter 5: Sacred Landscape“Transformation is through the body, not away from it.”—– Eckhart Tolle from THE POWER OF NOW5.1 Opening SectionPurposesThe purposes of this chapter are to…• Know how to find the parts of yoni.• Practice turning on clio and yoni.• Know exactly how to find a your own and your partner’s G-Spot.Your Sacred LandscapeThis chapter delves deeply into the secret recesses of the female body. We begin showingyou how to love and accept yourself physically. We explore outer yoni (vagina), clio (clitoris),and inner yoni before teaching you surefire ways to discover your Sacred Gate (G-Spot). Thereare some darn good reasons why it’s controversial, mysterious, and under appreciated.We could have called it the anatomy chapter for it is that. But to those of us on the path ofbringing Supreme Bliss to the Goddess, we prefer to think of her body as the landscape leadingus both to the promised land.5.2 Body SectionHonor Your BodyThere is a major gender difference in the West regarding loving your body….85% of women in this country are dissatisfied with their body in some way while only 15% ofmen feel this way.Neither of these figures necessarily reflect a healthy attitude nor a healthy behavior pattern.Too many of us, especially women, internalize the media-driven pressure to have theperfect body. We want you to remember that your body is a special God-given, Goddessblessedvessel.We can wax practical and point out it’s the only one you’ve got, learn to love it and take careof it the way it is now. And shortly we will wax poetic about its spiritual value. Butpontificating may not be enough.You just may not be aware how deep the negative body-image programming goes until youbegin to worship yourself and each unique yoni you meet as a priceless work of art.Are big breasts more sensitive? No, in fact the surgically enhanced ones often losesensitivity. Do thin-waisted women have longer or stronger orgasms? No way! Does yourweight influence your ability to run orgasmic energy and float non-stop in an extended TantricOrgasm? No, ma’am, not a bit. It’s really about how much you love yourself.What’s Size Got To Do With It?And while we’re on the subject, guys, size doesn’t count the way you think it does.Sure, an untrained female lover will feel fuller when penetrated by a thicker vajra. But toone with strong supple yoni muscles, it’s not a big deal. We can’t tell you how many storieswe’ve heard about how shorter thinner vajras used properly can hit the orgasmic trigger spotmuch better.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 71In Tantra, we don’t subscribe to the exaggerated Madison-Avenue images of what’s right,healthy, and desirable for a body. Attractive bodies can assume many different shapes, sizes,and proportions, as long as they’re loved and cared for. In truth, we’re more driven to theconscious presence, the life force, and the sexual energy field of the beings we encounter.In Tantra, we’ve shifted our beliefs, the ones in our heads and in our flesh, to accepting thatthe body is a divine gift. Your body is the temple of your soul, the physical extension of yourinner being. Forget what anyone else tries to tell you. Concentrate instead on how it feels.Treat Yourself WellTo be totally explicit, we want to support you in feeling maximum pleasure with whateveryou experience in this world. Which requires you totally accepting who you are mentally,emotionally, spiritually, and, yes, physically.Your body is the physical expression of who you are in this world. It is an extension of yourinner spiritual self. To a Tantrika, we view the body as something God given, so we call it whatit really is, your temple. The sanctuary of your soul.Loving and honoring your physical temple is demonstrated in your life through what youeat, how you exercise, and how fit you maintain your body. Not to mention how much pleasureyou feed it regularly.If you desire to be a world-class lover, you must have the body and the energy to sustainfrequent long lovemaking sessions.If you truly love yourself, which is a high state of spiritual health, then you will treat yourbody with care, give it the loving attention that is necessary, and not abuse it.EXERCISE: Body Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to use for reflecting, journalling, or talking…• How do you feel about your body?• How do you feel about the size of your jewels?• What do you do to honor your body?• What more could you do to honor your body?Love It, Your Only OptionThink about it. All women have a G-Spot and its power is unrelated to how they look on theoutside. If your G-Spot is really the secret inner orgasmic trigger to untold ecstasy, why makesuch a big deal about the outer?One of Somraj’s favorite lovers matches more the well-rounded look. He says about her…”She is a true Goddess in bed because of how she accepts herself, loves her body, and channelsthe lightning we create together. In comparison, too many of my past stick-thin beautiful loversjust lay there and did nothing for me.”Love every inch of your temple. Cherish and care for it. Touch and caress yourself as youwould a newborn’s bottom. Lovingly admire your curves, nooks, and crannies. Delight in yourbody’s specially sensitive zones and their delicious sensations. Make pursuing what feels goodyour religion. Give thanks for the pleasure your body brings you.Really, we mean it, starting now.PRACTICE: Honoring Your BodyDescriptionHave you ever really looked at yourself without the filter of other people’s right andwrong standards? Even if you have, here’s your chance to love your body Tantrically.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 72One of the things we enjoy about giving the****utic massage is doing just this for eachother and complete strangers.PurposeTo observe, examine, and explore every inch of your body without shame, blame, orjudgment. Just accept it, baby.1. SETTINGStand in front of mirror in a warm, well-lighted room. Put on some sensuous music inthe background.2. NAMASTÉSignal the beginning of the practice by giving yourself a namasté, the ritual spiritualgreeting with palms together over the heart indicating that you honor divine powerwithin.3. LOOKLook at yourself full front, side to side, back over your shoulder. Just look. Turnaround, all positions and angles.4. STRIPSlowly, consciously, and sensuously take off all your clothes. After each piece ofclothing is gone, look yourself over. Do this again and again until you’re completelynaked.5. LOVE YOURSELFSmile at yourself. Admire every part of yourself you can. Tell each part of your bodythat you love it. Touch it caressingly as you do. For example, “I love you legs, I love youbutt.”6. DROP EVERYTHINGYou’ve dropped your outer shell, now drop the inner ones. Ask yourself how you feeljust looking honestly and completely. Leave prejudices aside whether you inheritedthem from magazines, movies, or your mom. Notice what beliefs crop up and move pastthem by looking at yourself innocently, with the eyes of a c***d.7. NOTICEFocus clearly and precisely on the details. Notice what you like about your face, yourtorso, your chest, your hips, your legs, your butt, your vulva.8. HEALINGLovingly touch those areas you find you’re uncomfortable with. Breathe into them.Start a flow of love energy from your heart to these neglected spots. Infuse them withlife by sending them love. In this way, connect every part of body with your heart andsoul.9. AWAKENIf you can’t shed some of the lingering self-distaste, energize those spots with sexualenergy. Connect your rejected spots with pleasure spots with one hand on each.Remember peak ecstatic moments you’ve experienced anywhere in your body andattach those feelings to these troubled zones. If you’re concerned about a sagging breast,infuse it with the best nipple sucking you can recall. If you’d like your tummy flatter,Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 73open conduits to your clio by stimulating both right now. As you awaken neglectedspot, be sure to remember times when each felt pleasure or exploded with orgasm.10. RITUAL BATHFor closure, we suggest you take a ritual bath. Tidy your bathroom, light incense andcandles, and add soothing salts or bubbles to the water. Then slip in with the intent ofwashing away self-judgments and negative thoughts about body parts. As you do, outloud say affirmations like “I cleanse this breast of all judgment and fully accept itsnatural beauty and essence.”AfterthoughtsWe invite you do this practice a second time with a partner. Stand in front of eachother instead of the mirror. Be sure to voice all the positives. First, say out loud what youlove about your body. Second, ask your partner to voice what they love about yourbody. Your only job is to take the gaze, the admiration, the love in. Whatever you hear,receiver, be silent. No excuses, no self-judgments, no put-downs allowed.5.3 Outer Yoni Section“Only by loving your body will you come closer to God…the body knows how to dance, how tosing, how to pulsate with God. When the body starts vibrating with the divine, suddenly you willsee your soul is also vibrating. Your body and soul are one.” ——– OshoLearning By TouchingOur fingers are the perfect natural tools to uncover the mysteries of yoni and her SacredGate. Touching is a normal human way of discovering and feeling things out. Fingers are highlysensitive with lots of nerve endings and we’re all skilled at manipulating them.Yes, we’re suggesting you touch yourself. Self-pleasuring is a powerful way to discoveryour Sacred Gate and how to give it maximum delight.Since Tantra encourages all forms of conscious exploration of your desires, we urge you notto resist any kind of sexual play. It’s a tragedy that self-pleasuring isn’t more socially acceptedin humans. Well, that’s largely because of the shame that’s drummed into us at an early age,isn’t it?In Tantra, which is totally pro-pleasure and sex-positive, we don’t call it masturbation. Thatword has a guilt-ridden association, doesn’t it? Of course, if it turns you on to think you’redoing something naughty, call it what you want. One of these days we aim to write a bookabout “The Tantric Art Of Talking Dirty.”It’s too bad we’re not all proud experts in self-pleasuring. It’s such an ideal way to learnabout your body and sexuality. You’re always the closest to the action. You have the strongestvested interest in mastering your body’s uniqueness. Feedback is instant. No attention isrequired to the challenging art of communication. And the big payoff is immediate pleasure.Excel and you might even have an orgasm. Whoopee!Of course, for self-pleasuring to work well, you need to listen to your body intently insteadof being consumed by guilt. To welcome the life-altering power of Sacred Gate pleasure intoyour life, drop all these old inhibitions that don’t serve you. The taboos are for nay-sayers.Tantrikas specialize in celebrating “yes” about all aspects of life.Unfortunately, the shape of some women’s bodies makes G-Spot self-pleasuring difficult oruncomfortable when they are doing themselves. Also, many women’s fingers aren’t longAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 74enough or strong enough for facile internal experimenting. Later we’ll suggest some uses ofspecific sex toys to facilitate self-pleasuring.OK, now that our anti-moralizing is out of the way, let’s get down to exploring and enjoyingyour body yourself.Yoni’s Sacred LandscapeBecause of our social conditioning, most of us don’t appreciate our jewels (genitals) fullyand accept their unique shape, size, and aroma. If you want to experience the heights of sexualecstasy, it’s essential that you start now on a personal program of loving these sacred parts ofyour body.Right now, begin exploring yoni’s sacred landscape in greater detail. What do you think ofwhen you visualize your yoni? A rose as it’s poetically viewed in the modern West? A lotusflower as the Tantrics traditionally viewed her? Do you think of her as a unique work of art?Because we revere the power of the Goddess as expressed in each woman’s body and hersexual powers, Tantrikas honor the yoni as a sacred place. We gaze reverently, we bow andnamasté, and offer gifts of pleasure.Each yoni is a beautiful work of art. Just as no two women’s faces are alike, yonis are alldifferent. Lips, clio, opening can be larger, smaller, closer, farther. Some lips are longer, someshorter, each with its own special flair and personality. And remember, size and shape havenothing to do with functioning, sexual or otherwise.PRACTICE: Explore Yoni SoloPurposeTo really look at your yoni thoroughly from a fresh c***dlike perspective,appreciating its beauty and accepting all its parts.DescriptionA good way to do this and similar practices is by sitting and reclining. One good wayto arrange yourself is leaning against a backjack. A backjack is a simple chair-like devicethat makes sitting on the floor easier. Backjacks are cloth-covered metal-framed backsupports that rest on the floor with a low foam-rubber seat.1. PREPARATIONSTidy and heat your bathroom or bedroom and the place where you’ll explore yoni soyou’ll be warm enough to do this practice in the nude. We recommend doing thispractice in front of a full-length mirror if you can arrange it comfortably. Either way,collect up a hand mirror, a strong flashlight, drinking water, a drawing pad, and somepencils before you begin.2. RITUAL BATHGive yourself a ritual bath to freshen your body and cleanse your energy. Lightincense and candles and add soothing salts or bubbles to the water. Then wash yourselftenderly as if you were bathing a newborn.3. POSITIONArrange yourself nude in a comfortable reclining position propped on pillows orusing a backjack in front of a full length mirror with legs spread apart. If can’t arrangethis comfortably, you can lean against your bed headboard and use a hand mirrorinstead. The brighter the lighting the better so you can focus on your sacred details.4. SACRED SPACEAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 75Use whatever ritual actions and props help you make your play space sacred,including sensual music. Acknowledge yourself and your inner being spiritually with anamasté.5. ADMIRING YONIFocus on your yoni with love and appreciation. Look at her parts in depth: hair,mound, lips, clio, opening. Breathe life into your beautiful flower from inside and out.6. DRAWINGA wonderful way to concentrate on the details of your yoni without self-put-downsor personal resistance is by drawing a picture of what you see. Your drawing skill andart quality aren’t important, it’s the studying yourself that is. After you’ve sketched yourclosed yoni, hold her lips open with one hand while you draw the parts normallyhidden from outside view.7. TURN-ONGently touch the inner and outer parts of yoni. Feel how the different tissues feeldifferent to your touch. If you want to go further, caress yourself to turn yourself on. Asyou get aroused, watch the changes that occur in the skin color, texture, and shape ofyour body, especially your breasts, nipples, and yoni. Notice your breathing, motions,and muscle tension and other changes like lubrication. Make another sketch of your yoniwhen turned on.8. INSIDEPut a moistened finger inside yoni. We encourage you to taste and smell the cleannatural fluids on your finger. In Tantra, we view them as sacred. Learn to associate thesesenses with pleasure by practicing and talking with yourself. You can even draw theinside of your yoni if you’ve ever taken a clear plastic speculum home from agynecological exam.9. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space by giving yourself a namasté and doing whatever works foryou to give thanks for the pleasure your body brings you.PRACTICE: Play Doctor Yoni ExplorationDescriptionWere you lucky enough to play doctor with your young friends while growing up?We hope you had a chance to check out the jewels on the other side of the gender linebefore you bought all the negativity adults dump on k**s these days. If not, never fear,you can be a k** again and play with your favorite “doctor” tonight.If you practice this enough, you’ll come to a place of personal pride. You’ll believeyour yoni is beautiful and really feel she is a sacred gift. So naturally you’ll want to showher off to those you love and trust.If you’ve never had a partner explore your sacred garden in the same way, here’s yourchance to deepen your intimacy and self-acceptance.Some notes to the giver: Approach this practice as a sacred trust. This kind ofexposure makes a woman highly vulnerable. Tell her what you plan to do before you doit. Get permission for major changes. Maintain as much eye contact as possible. Givereassurance. If you’re not sure of something, ask a question. Feedback and dialogue areAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 76great as long as you don’t extend that to distracting sidetalk. Above all, show your loveand respect.PurposeTo offer your lover a chance to look at your yoni thoroughly from a fresh c***dlikeperspective, appreciating its beauty and accepting all its parts.1. PREPARATIONSTidy and heat your bathroom and the place where you’ll explore yoni so you’ll bewarm enough to do this practice in the nude. Have props and drinking water handy.2. RITUAL BATHAsk your lover to give you a ritual bath to freshen and cleanse your energy as well asyour body. Light incense and candles and add soothing salts or bubbles to the water.3. POSITIONArrange yourself with a loose wrap in a comfortable reclining position with legsspread propped on pillows, a backjack, or against your bed headboard. Your partnershould be seated on a pillow or backjack between your legs. Without being glaring, besure the lighting is adequate for your lover to see your sacred details. If you want tocreate a better atmosphere in the room with candles and indirect lighting, your partnercan use a flashlight.4. SACRED SPACEUse whatever ritual actions and props, including sensual music, help you make yourplay space sacred. Acknowledge each other spiritually with a Heart Salutation. Discussthe Partnering Questions — desires, concerns, and boundaries — before you actuallybegin.5. HONORINGBefore beginning, your partner should offer yoni a gift such as a small flower, expressappreciation for being welcomed in such an intimate way, and promise to respect herand you in any way you require. Your beloved can say something like “I offer thisflower as a symbol of how I honor yoni. Thank you for trusting me enough to invite meto view this special place.” When you feel ready, give your partner permission toexamine yoni.6. ADMIRING YONISpread your legs wide and uncover yoni fully. Ask your partner to focus on yoni withlove and appreciation, looking closely and in detail at all her parts. The most lovingpartners will tell you how lovely she looks.7. OPENINGHold yoni’s lips open so your lover can see the parts normally hidden from outsideview.8. TURN-ONIf you want to go further, caress yourself to turn yourself on. As you get aroused,show your lover the changes that occur in the skin color, texture, and shape of yourbody, especially your breasts, nipples, and yoni.9. INSIDEIf you have a speculum and you’re willing, let your lover look inside yoni.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 7710. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space by talking about what happened, giving each other a HeartSalutation, and giving thanks for the trust and intimacy you shared.Touch The Whole Body TantricallyNow that you’re solidly on the path of loving your body in total, let’s get serious about theobvious thrust of this book. What specific parts respond to sexual stimulation? There has beenlots of research on erogenous zones, the parts of the body that arouse sexual desire when youtouch them.What’s the biggest erogenous zone? If your thoughts went to your crotch, we got ya. It’syour skin. Any millimeter of your epidermis can turn you on, especially if you relax, useOrgasmic Breathing, and flow energy to it.The sixteenth-century Hindu love manual, the “Ananga Ranga,” teaches that a woman’serogenous zones are the head, eyes, lips, mouth, cheeks, ears, throat, nape of the neck, breasts,nipples, belly, back, arms, hands, thighs, knees, ankles, feet, big toes, yoni, waist, buttocks,crown of the head, and the center of the forehead.Whew! No wonder women complain they want more foreplay with so much territory tocover.In fact, those complainers are much more likely to tell you that it’s HOW you touch her skinthat feels sensual. And we’re not just talking about technique here. What counts is the presence,the sensitivity, the love that you touch with. That’s what we call Tantric Touch.Erotic Zones That Crave Love & TouchDiving right into G-Spot massage or sexual union is uncomfortable for most women. Notonly is it non-Tantric, in most cases it’s downright rude.The Goddess is much more juicy and joyous when awakened through full-body sensualmassage first. Physical arousal from the outside and streaming energy from the inside arewonderful preparations for entering the Sacred Gate.We don’t mean to suggest you should to leave out loving touch for your jewels and yourother erectile tissues. Those are parts of the body that are physiologically sensitive to touch thatthey become engorged with blood when aroused, which you can tell because they swell anddarken.What erectile tissues do women report are the most sensitive and erotic?Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 78• Mons: Classically known as the Mounds of Venus, the soft pubic-hair-adorned tissuecovering the pubic bone that divides into yoni’s outer lips.• Lips: Yoni’s labia are soft folds of skin that protect her when she’s resting. The outsidelips are called the labia majora and the inside ones are the labia minora.• Clio: The clitoris is the highly sensitive bud that peaks out under its hood at the apexof the inner lips and extends deeper inside around yoni.• Urethra: The canal that conducts urine from the bladder to the outside world. Youcan make out the highly sensitive orifice, known as the meatus, near the top or justinside yoni’s mouth.• Urethral Sponge: Spongy erectile tissue that surrounds a woman’s urethra composedof up to forty little paraurethral glands and ducts collectively known as the femaleprostate.• Inner Yoni: The vagina, the elastic tube that extends from the vaginal opening, oryoni’s mouth, up to the cervix, the opening to the uterus or womb.• Perineum: The spongy, highly erogenous tissue between yoni and the anus thatincludes the soft sensitive tissue on yoni’s back wall.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 79• Anus: The other very sensitive orifice between the butt cheeks which is too oftenoverlooked. This is unfortunate because it’s loaded with nerve endings. Our Tantricname for the anus is rosetta.Just like other body parts, these erotic zones come in all shapes and sizes, which by the wayhas little to do with their sensitivity.PRACTICE: Awakening Your Erotic ZonesDescriptionLet’s extend your self-loving to these extra special spots.For this practice you’ll need pillows and backjack or other back support, towels,personal lubricant, flashlight or small table lamp, and a small hand mirror. We like toput a soft towel or absorbent pad underneath a sarong to eliminate any selfconsciousnesscaused by fluids potentially wetting the bed. Yes, your assignment, ladies,is to get wet!PurposeTo accept and explore all your erogenous zones thoroughly in order to discoverwhat’s most sensitive.1. POSITIONArrange yourself nude in a warm room in a comfortable reclining position proppedon pillows, leaning against your bed headboard, or using a backjack.2. SACRED SPACEUse whatever ritual actions and props help you make your play space sacred. Useerotic background music that gets your juices flowing. Acknowledge yourself and yourinner being spiritually with a namasté.3. TOUCHINGBegin touching yourself Tantrically slowly all over as if you’ve never done this before.Don’t avoid anywhere you can reach.4. EROTIC ZONESAs you glide around your skin and hair, notice what feels best and start zooming inon what gives the most pleasure.5. OBSERVEAs you turn yourself on, watch the changes that occur in the skin color, texture, andshape of your body, especially your breasts, nipples, and yoni. Notice your breathing,motions, and muscle tension and other changes like lubrication.6. MAPPINGExperiment to find what’s most sensitive. What kind of stroke, pressure, and speed ismost erotic for each pleasure spot? What feels neutral or numb? What’s uncomfortable,tense, painful?7. ORGASMIC BREATHINGAlso experiment with using Orgasmic Breathing to use your erogenous zones togenerate and spread sexual energy.8. SELF-PLEASURINGAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 80Bolster your self-love and your acceptance of the truth that your body and itspleasures are divine gifts. Energize this reality by connecting the erotic zones generatingKundalini with your heart and spiritual centers in the head. For example, put one handon yoni and the other on your third eye. Use this step to reframe self-pleasuring in yourmind as a sacred ritual.9. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space by giving yourself a namasté and doing whatever works foryou to give thanks for the pleasure your body brings you.Yoni-DoSome women care for their pubic hairdo just as they do their head hair. Some tidy, somecreate a heart or other design over their mons, some shave completely naked down to yoni’sopening. We honor all manifestations of the Goddess.Do you have a yoni-do? Have you ever shaved down there? We don’t urge one form overanother, but we do suggest you consider your preferences. Begin to take personal pride in theappearance of your most sacred grotto. This isn’t preparation for a sojourn at a nudist camp. It’srevering your most sacred of spaces for your own pride.What would look best to you? What feels best with tight pants and during sex? What doesyour partner prefer? Experiment and find your pubic hair identity. We know couples whobestow the responsibility for jewel hairdos on their partner. It takes a lot of trust in your partnerand yourself to allow another to take razor or trimmer to such a delicate place.Somraj’s vajra doesn’t like the bristle of a growing yoni bush, both on the giving andreceiving side. He trims around vajra’s base every month or so to keep the wildest hairs at bayand out of the way when open access is desired. Jeffre routinely dipilitates yoni’s environs, andthrough trimming leaves short softer hairs on her outer lips. That’s what works for us. Whatworks best for you?PRACTICE: Partner ShavingDiscuss with your partner some of the options you’ve considered. Find out what sheor he might like. Discuss the possibility of your partner shaving you. This can be quite aturn on. If you’re willing, go for it.LipsYoni is protected by two soft folds of skin commonly called lips. Yoni’s lips are two verticalflaps of tissue medically known as labia. The longer, larger outer lips, the labia majora, extendfrom the mons to below yoni’s opening. Pubic hair typically grows from the mons down theouter lips, sometimes on the inside too.At rest, the outer lips cover the entire yoni. Which is of course their divine job, to protectand serve. When aroused, they flatten against the sides of yoni, opening and exposing the softsensitive often moist inner lips and surrounding tissues.The inner lips, labia minora, surround yoni’s opening. At the top near the mons they meet toform a hood that covers and protects the highly sensitive head of clio.At rest, the inner lips are normally closed as well. When excited, they swell, lengthen, andthicken until the protrude well past the outer lips. As a woman approaches orgasm, they canbecome red or even wine colored.Both sets of lips are sensitive to rubbing, brushing, blowing, and licking. Don’t be deterredby any pubic hair your lover chooses to retain. Pulling on it gently and swirling it betweenAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 81fingers or tongue is pleasurable. Just be sure use ample lubricant so that you don’t tug or abradethe skin.WetnessYoni and Sacred Gate massage feel much more luxurious when accompanied by amplewetness. Yet, not every woman always lubricates enough naturally for smooth gliding over allher sensitive tissues.This is not a measurement of your sexiness or your lover’s skill. It’s just a physical realitylike the changing of the seasons or the ebb and flow of ocean tides. Not every woman getstotally wet all the time. Using latex gloves or condoms tends to dry lubrication faster than skinon-skin play. Especially as a woman approaches menopause, natural wetness decreases.To learn to float in the Supreme Bliss of Sacred Gate ecstasy, both giver and receiver mustdevelop sensitivity to lubrication in each moment. Learn what brings on your natural flow andwhat sensual products you prefer to use for assistance.By the way, don’t hold out for the coming Female Ejaculation Chapter. Amrita, the fluidexpelled during female orgasm, isn’t thick enough to provide enough slipperiness. When Jeffreis in a gushing mood, we have to replenish our preferred lubricant every few moments. Haveyou heard the phrase “the price of doing business?” It’s just a reality we’ve learned to accept andenjoy.LubricantsSo what can you add to your sacred play if you need to bolster natural wetness? There arereally two ways to go: oil and water. And you’re right, inside yoni they don’t mix.Because they don’t dry out quickly, we sometimes use massage oil or thicker oil-basedproducts on clio and yoni’s external lips. Our favorite is a makeup remover found at many d**gstores called Abolene.We’re extra careful not to introduce any of this type of products inside. We do that byavoiding the yoni’s mouth at first and wiping carefully on a towel or Baby Wipe beforepenetration.The environment of inner yoni is a carefully balanced one, easily disturbed by introducingunnatural substances. That includes digestibles like Vaseline, oil, fruit jelly, whip cream,chocolate sauce, honey, or many feminine hygiene and spermicide products. One physicianfriend is so zealous about this that he urges women to never put anything inside yoni that isn’tpure water or skin.Friendly bacteria, lactobacilli, like what’s in yogurt, live in harmony with yoni’s wet darkenvironment and keep yeast, candida, at bay. If you introduce undesirable substances, it canthrow yoni’s pH balance out of whack. If the yeast takes over, the consequences areuncomfortable, sometimes painful, as she strives to regain her delicate floral balance.Spermicide on many condoms and some lubricants, nonoxynol, is awfully strong. Somestudies have shown it’s so abrasive that its use irritates the skin and makes it more likely totransmit STD bacteria and viruses so we recommend avoiding it. Further, did you know thatoil-based products are known to slowly deteriorate latex? That makes them unsafe forprotection against STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) when you’re using condoms.Water Water Everywhere And So Much Fun To DrinkThere are many advantages to using water-based lubricants, as well as a few drawbacks.They tend to be more natural and more absorbent. They merge with a woman’s inherentsecretions better. But they tend to dry out as the water evaporates. And some have ingredientsthat overly sensitive yonis can do without.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 82Though it’s not as thick and long-lasting as many commercial products, saliva is the mostnatural, plentiful, and inexpensive. Our ebook on Tantric Oral Sex will give you all the tips andtechniques you’ll ever need to carefully apply saliva to yoni.There are lots of non-saliva choices on the market today. Wet, Astroglide, Probe, Liquid Silk,and KY are some of the more commonly used ones. Jeffre used to prefer the light version ofWet, but her favorite now is Probe. It has a natural fruit-based preservative and is largelytasteless, but some of our friends find it too thick. Others prefer Liquid Silk, but it doesn’t tastevery great. Which is best for you? Who knows, you lucky soul, you get to experiment.Where to get them? d**g stores carry a limited, often less-than-natural selection. Adultbookstores and sex shops have the best variety, but then you have brave the seamy steamyenvironment of most of them. We buy ours on-line. Good Vibrations, goodvibes.com, awonderful employee-owned sex-positive women-staffed vendor that offers a sample pack ofsmall amounts of most popular ones. Also our friend Gary at DoctorG.com has a wonderfulsupply. There are lots of other choices on the internet.If the wetness from your yoni and mouth provides enough slipperiness for all kinds ofexternal and internal play, then enjoy your natural lubrication. If not or if you’re curious, weencourage you to explore different kinds of substances that you can use in different situations.For instance, anal play always requires additional water-based lubrication.PRACTICE: Partner Awakening Outer YoniDescriptionLet’s take this opportunity to see what most pleases yoni and what kind of lubricationhelps. See the notes to the giver in the Play Doctor practice.PurposeTo relax, open, and awaken outer yoni’s unique energy while showing a partner howto touch you and build intimacy.1. PREPARATIONSBegin by tidying up, heating your room, taking a ritual bath, and arranging the spaceso you can lean back against a backjack or pile of pillows with legs spread. Often pillowsunder knees make it more comfortable for extended play. Be sure to have drinking waterand various lubricants handy for experimenting. Use soft towels or absorbent padsunderneath to eliminate any self-consciousness about your fluids wetting the bed.2. SACRED SPACEUse whatever ritual actions and props help you make your play space sacred,including erotic music. Acknowledge each other spiritually with a Heart Salutation andsweet words of love and honoring. Discuss the Partnering Questions — desires, concerns,and boundaries — before you actually begin.3. TOUCHINGHave your lover begin by slowly caressing, arousing, and touching you Tantrically.Ask them to start at the perimeter and circle towards yoni: legs, thighs, face, neck,tummy, breasts. Make sure you both take your time and enjoy. It’s your job to relax,breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’re feeling. A good partner willremind you of these ways to be present, responsive, and appreciative.4. OUTER YONIAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 83Ask your lover to touch outer yoni with a gentle loving Tantric touch. (A goodpartner would never approach yoni without permission.) Giver, try circling around theperimeter and gradually coming closer and closer. Squeeze her outer lips betweenthumb and forefinger, then gently rubbing the outer lips together.5. EXPERIMENTAs yoni begins to warm and open, ask your lover to use one of your samplelubricants with different strokes. You can try oil on the outside as long as your partner iscareful not to get any inside yoni. Always ask for what you want and give gentle lovingfeedback using the Feedback Sandwich (compliment, change, acknowledge). If you don’tknow what you want most, ask for different strokes at different speeds and pressures.6. STROKESGiver, use a well-lubricated finger up and down the outside of yoni’s outer lips. Youcan turn this into circles by swiveling around to the other side at top and bottom.Gradually move your strokes and circles to the inside of her outer lips. Circle aroundclio and her inner lips as well. Just be careful not to make direct contact with clio toosoon.7. TURN-ONIf you want, after learning together you can switch your attention to pleasure andenjoy yourself to the max. Use Orgasmic Breathing to intensify and spread sexual energyaround your body. Your partner can help by reminding you to breathe if necessary.Though orgasm isn’t necessary, if you want to end with one, enjoy yourself.8. COOL DOWNWhen you’re ready to stop, be sure your partner knows to follow your lead. Do youwant gradual slowing or simply holding still? Whatever you prefer, ask your lover notto abruptly break contact. Instead, have them cup and hold yoni with their palm, whilethe other hand is on your heart. Look in each other’s eyes and breathe together.9. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space by talking about what happened, giving each other a HeartSalutation, and giving thanks for the trust and intimacy you shared and the pleasureyour body brings you.AfterthoughtsFor now, see what you can learn and how turned on you can get by exterior play.After we concentrate on clio and her unique needs, we’ll cover the unique qualitiesinside yoni.5.4 Clio SectionClioClio is an extensive band of highly excitable erectile tissue whose head peeks out of theupper end of a woman’s outer yoni (vulva) just below the meeting of the inner lips (labia).Many consider clio, known medically as the clitoris, the crown jewel of female anatomy. She’sunique because, unlike every other part of the body, she has no other purpose but pleasure.The good news, which you’re probably aware of, is that this spongy erectile tissue is rich inblood vessels and nerve endings that makes it swell with arousal and get firm, almost like alittle vajra (Tantric for penis).Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 84Clios vary considerably in size from woman to woman, just as vajra length and girth do formen. Clio’s tip, called the glans, is located at the apex, the top, of the inner yoni lips (labiaminora). The glans is the part most sensitive to touch and averages about the size of pencileraser.Clio’s HoodThe intersection of the inner lips creates a hood that covers the glans and protects clio undermost conditions. This is fortunate since she’s the most sensitive erogenous zone for mostwomen. Why? Because she has the highest concentration of nerve endings in the female body.We’ve heard as many as 8000 in that tiny little glans, more than any other part of the humanbody. That’s why clio is so hypersensitive. Before sufficient arousal, direct contact with her headis too much, even painful, for most women.If you pull back clio’s hood, you may or may not see her. Some clios just aren’t visible untilthey swell with enough excitement. An erect clio often causes the hood to smooth out. Whenaroused, some women’s clios double in size.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 85When a woman nears orgasm, clio typically retracts inward and downward toward yoni’sopening, hiding under the hood. But don’t worry, she’ll reappear when arousal decreases.Clio’s Deep RecessesClio has a shaft under the skin that extends up towards the pubic bone and belly before itturns down toward inner yoni. When clio is aroused and swollen, the shaft becomes rigid andsinks deeper inside the body.The downward extensions of clio’s shaft spread further towards inner yoni. Some believeclio’s erectile tissue extends deeper connecting with the urethral sponge, the labia, and theperineum, nearly surrounding inner yoni. Though this premise hasn’t been proven, it wouldexplain the sensitivity of these erogenous zones in and around yoni.What has been medically accepted are clio’s legs, called crura. The two crura continue downdeeper for about 3 inches (8 centimeters) towards the Sacred Gate, one on either side of inneryoni. Have you ever noticed the pleasurable sensation from two fingers pressing into the softtissue on either side of yoni’s opening? This is one of Jeffre’s favorite warm-ups.Clio’s ResponsesThe deeper extensions of clio’s anatomy may explain why Masters & Johnson’s hypothesisthat only clio causes female orgasm was accepted for so long. Vajra penetration may very wellstimulate clio’s legs. If the man moves upwards during missionary position intercourse orgrinds the woman’s pubic bone at the end of the in-stroke, clio can receive significantexcitement.Clio’s physiology can help lovers understand some of the unique aspects of female sexualresponse. The tip of clio is fed by the pudendal nerve as are yoni’s lips and opening, theperineum (the tissue between yoni and the anus), and the anus itself.By the way, “pudenda” is a fancy out-of-date term for external human genitals.Clio’s shaft and legs (as well as inner yoni and the G-Spot) are fed by the pelvic nervedeeper inside. This possibly explains why orgasms feel different when triggered by the innerand outer erogenous zones. Much more about this later in the Ecstatic States Chapter abouthigher levels of ecstasy.By the way, when we refer to clio, we usually mean clio’s glans. If we mean any of her innerparts, we’ll be specific.How to Stimulate ClioRemember the distinction between Yin, the nurturing female approach, and Yang, thestronger more forceful male approach? If you’re not very experienced giving clios exactly whatthey crave, pay careful attention to the difference.Because clio is hypersensitive, a yin start is essential for most women. Begin by awakeningthe rest of her body. As she warms and you approach yoni, be careful not to directly touch clio’sglans initially. Use a light, slow, gentle caress at first on clio’s sides and shaft. A smooth limpfinger or tongue works great. Circling around clio feels great too. Be sure you have amplelubrication from yoni, your mouth, or a commercial product. If the giver has really roughhands, you might like to try latex gloves. It makes the fingers incredibly smooth.As the woman’s excitement grows, you can gradually approach clio more directly in a yangway. Lightly at first, your straight or circular strokes can stray towards the glans. As feedbacktells you she’s getting more turned-on, little by little increase your speed or pressure and ask forfeedback from the Goddess.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 86As excitement builds, many women like a hand rubbing over clio and her environs. Somelike flicking with a finger or tongue. If you’re using your mouth, you can try sucking an erectclio as well.When highly aroused, many women like super yang clio stimulation. That is, hard, fast, anddeep pressure.Clio During Maithuna (Sexual Union)We’ve found that too many women simply don’t know what kinds of loveplay they like anddon’t like. And those who do know are often too inhibited to talk about it or just don’t knowhow to describe it.Whether you’re an expert of clio’s preferences or not, we encourage you to explore exactlywhat she likes. See our Tantric LovePlay and Ecstatic States Chapters for ideas and practices.And while we’re on the subject of loving clio, consider how she’s contacted duringmaithuna.We learned during our Native American sacred sexuality training (Quodoushka) that onlyabout 10% of women’s clios are close enough to yoni’s opening to be easily orgasmic fromtypical vajra penetration. Unfortunately, straight pumping misses most clios entirely.By adjusting angle and stroking, the average clio doesn’t have to be completely ignoredduring sexual union. The in-and-out motion may pull the external yoni tissue therebymassaging clio. And of course a hard vajra can apply pleasurable pressure to clio’s crura oneither side of inner yoni. Even better is a lover who knows how to grind his pubic bone on herson the in-stroke. These are some of the ways clio can participate actively and appreciatemaithuna.EXERCISE: Clio Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to use for reflecting, journalling, or talking…• How sensitive is clio?• How close is clio to yoni’s mouth?• What does she want more of?• What does she want less of?5.5 Inner Yoni SectionInner YoniEven if you don’t remember, at one time you were intimately connected with the sacredgarden we refer to as inner yoni. We’re sure you know the facts of life whether you recall thedetails of your birth or not.c***dbirth, intercourse, menstruation — it seems yoni was designed with the reproduction ofthe species as a first priority. We give thanks to the divine powers and ancient Tantrikas whoteach us how yoni offers unlimited pleasure as another sacred opportunity.Inner yoni is a deeply folded, highly muscular, expandable canal lined with mucousmembranes. From its outside opening between the inner lips, yoni curves up towards the bellyand cervix, the entrance to the womb or uterus.Normally the channel is collapsed upon itself so there’s no space between its touching walls.When first aroused, the membranes that cover yoni’s insides lubricate. As she gets morearoused, yoni opens and lengthens.Yoni’s deeper two-thirds have smoother walls with fewer nerve endings than the outwardthird. Consequently, this inward area responds less to touch and more to pressure, like thatproduced from a firm, hot, cylinder of flesh. What an amazing design!Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 87The outward third of yoni, the part closest to the mouth, is different in character than theinward two-thirds. Because it’s dense with nerve endings, the walls of yoni’s outward third arehighly responsive to touch. Of course, you already knew that, right? These tissues are coveredwith ridges and furrows, especially around the urethra that transports urine out of the bladder.UrethraThe bladder is above the top inward end of yoni. The urethra is the medical name for theslender tube that runs along the top or front side of inner yoni and conducts urine from thebladder to the urethral opening near yoni’s inner lips.The average urethra is about 1.5 inches (4 centimeters) long, which is much shorter than thesimilar canal in a man’s vajra. Because it’s so short, women are much more susceptible tourinary tract and bladder infections. That’s because germs don’t have as far to travel inside,especially after deep and extensive sexual play.But don’t worry, it’s easy to prevent this. Just be sure to drink lots of water before, during,and after sex of any kind. And remember to empty your bladder as soon after play as you can tocleanse the canal.The opening of the urethra is technically called the meatus. It lies below clio within yoni’sinner lips and near the top side of her opening. Some women’s meatus is just inside the top sideof inner yoni. For many women, the meatus is especially sensitive to stimulation since it’ssurrounded by the beginning of the urethral sponge.Urethral SpongeThere are a number of glands and tissues around yoni that can create delicious sensationswith specific kinds of massage. The tissue along yoni’s front or upper wall is colloquially calledthe G-Spot.The entire urethra is surrounded by spongy erectile tissue under the upper surface of yoniwhich is called the urethral sponge. The sponge is composed of up to 40 little glands and ductsreferred to as paraurethral since “para” means beside or near.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 88Some call the paraurethral glands the Skene’s glands after the physician, Alexander Skene,who discovered and drew them in 1880.Dr. Milan Zaviacic, a medical professor at Comenius University in Slovakia, has beenstudying women’s urethral sponges since the early 80s. He’s clearly demonstrated that thetissue secretes the same chemicals produced by male prostates. Since these organs also developfrom the same tissue in men and women, he and many other sexologists now use the termfemale prostate for the glands and ducts that surround the urethra.With sexual arousal and firm pressure, the urethral sponge swells with fluid. Though theexact physiology has yet to be completely understood, it’s clear that female ejaculate comesfrom the urethral sponge/female prostate at least in part.Natural vaginal lubrication emanates from another source. This thicker, slippery fluidcomes from the Bartholin glands, two small organs located on each side of yoni’s mouth.The perineum is the sensitive tissue between yoni and rosetta (anus). Many women findstimulation of this area highly pleasurable because of its rich nerve endings and erectile nature.Plus it’s close to another one of the most sensitive organs in the body, the anus. Maybeproximity to the perineum and rosetta is why some women find the back wall of yoni near heropening so sensitive.EXERCISE: Prostate Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to use for reflecting, journalling, or talking…• How familiar are you with the parts of your or your partner’s female prostate?Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 89• What parts are most sensitive?• What does each part prefer?PC MuscleThe outward third of yoni is surrounded by the PC muscle. Medically, PC stands forpubococcygeus. We have discussed this somewhat in the Kundalini Energy Chapter.As you might expect from its initials, this muscle is connected in front to the bottom of thepubic bone and in the back to the bottom of the spine, the coccyx. If you’ve ever tried tointerrupt peeing, you know how to locate your PC muscle from the inside. It snakes aroundyour yoni (or vajra and testicles for men) and rosetta in a double figure eight along the floor ofyour pelvis.Yoni and her muscle tone are inextricably connected to the strength of a woman’s PC. Witha strong PC muscle, not only is yoni healthier and more apt to produce pleasure, but a womancan grasp, grip, and massage a visiting vajra strongly. With a weak PC muscle, urine morelikely to leak from the bladder through the urethra, and sexual pleasure is diminished.Many women’s PC muscles are continually tense, often the result of emotional andpsychological issues resulting from negative sexual encounters. Not only is this unhealthy forthis vital part the body, but chronically tense PCs can radically impair a woman’s ability toorgasm and ejaculate.Your PC, like clio’s tip and the outward part of yoni, are fed by the pudendal nerve. It’slikely that with a strong pumping PC muscle you’re stimulating clio’s deeper extensions andyoni’s dense array of nerve endings and erectile tissue.If you want to truly heighten your ecstatic experience, a strong PC muscle is vital. Werecommend exercises, especially done with the KegelMaster 2000.PRACTICE: Solo Inner Yoni MassagePurposeTo examine and experiment with inner yoni’s unique structures, tissues, andsensations by yourself.DescriptionThis practice builds on the earlier one called “Explore Yoni Solo.” This new one is agreat way to discover more of the inner details you’ve just read about. I you and yonineed to become closer and more intimate, this practice session was designed for you.If you have a speculum, use it. If not, we suggest you buy one. Women areundoubtedly familiar with this plastic device gynecologists use for yoni exams. Guysmay not realize that a speculum is an instrument used for dilating and lighting certainpassages of the body to facilitate examination.Reaching inside yoni with your fingers may be awkward for extended periods oftime. To prevent this from happening, we encourage you to experiment with sex toyslike dildos and vibrators at this point. One of our favorites is the Crystal Wand. It’s an”S” shaped piece of clear plastic that’s easy to hold and manipulate while you insert theother end inside yoni. For more information, click here….1. PREPARATIONSBegin by tidying up, heating your room, taking a ritual bath, and arranging yourselfleaning back against a backjack or pile of pillows with legs spread. Often pillows underknees make it more comfortable for extended play. Props you may want to collect are aAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 90speculum, mirror, flashlight, lubricant, towels, vibrator, and Crystal Wand or dildo. Usea soft towel or absorbent pad underneath to eliminate any self-consciousness of fluidswetting the bed.2. SACRED SPACEUse whatever ritual actions and props help you make your play space sacred.Carefully choose soothing sensuous music. Acknowledge yourself and your inner beingspiritually with a namasté.3. BODYBegin by slowly touching, caressing, and arousing yourself. Start at the perimeter andcircle towards yoni: legs, thighs, face, neck, tummy, breasts. Take your time and enjoy.Be sure to relax, breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’re feeling.4. OUTER YONITouch outer yoni gently and lovingly. As she begins to warm and open, addwhatever lubricant you prefer. Some women prefer clio stimulation before yonipenetration. As you turn yourself on, follow your own guidance.5. INNER VIEWINGIf you have a speculum, this is a good time to lubricate and insert it and examine thedifferent surfaces and glands within. Even if you don’t, you can spread your inner lipsand see into the outward third of yoni. Examine the membranes and see if you canidentify any of the different types of glands that surround yoni.6. INSIDE YONILick or lubricate a finger and slowly circle it as far as your hand will turn aroundyoni’s opening in both directions from 12 o’clock (the top side) to 6 o’clock (the bottomside). Do you feel different sensations at any clock position? Does your finger feel anydifferences in texture or shape?7. DEEPERWith gentle Tantric touch, insert your finger another inch and repeat the circlingmotions, continuing to feel inside and out. Go deeper an inch at a time as far as you canwhile discovering different feelings and sensations. Combine in and out with circlingmotions as you go descend. Also, tighten your PC muscle and feel the pressure on yourfinger in different positions. If your hand or finger gets too tired, remove it and shakeout the tension before continuing. Whenever you decide the time is right, feel free toswitch to using a toy like the Crystal Wand.8. TURN-ONTo really learn what’s most sensitive, switch your focus from exploring to pleasure.Use Orgasmic Breathing to intensify and spread Kundalini energy around your body.Though orgasm isn’t necessary, if you get swept away by a big explosion — or reallywant to end with one — enjoy yourself.9. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space by giving yourself a namasté and doing whatever works foryou to give thanks for the pleasure your body brings you.PRACTICE: Partner Inner Yoni MassageDescriptionAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 91We hope you enjoyed discovering new things that please yoni while bringingyourself exquisite pleasure. Now that you’ve mapped yoni’s special zones and identifiedhow prefers to be massaged, you can share these findings with your partner.You secret garden is a divine place. Sharing yoni’s secrets is a sacred gift. Enter intothis practice as a way to build intimacy, not with any strong expectations or discreetgoals. Continue the spirit of the Play Doctor Practice earlier in this chapter.Some notes to the giver: Approach this practice as a sacred trust. This kind ofexposure makes a woman highly vulnerable. Tell her what you plan to do before you doit. Get permission for major changes. Maintain eye contact as much as possible. Givereassurance. If you’re not sure of something, ask a question. Feedback and dialogue aregreat as long as you don’t extend that to distracting sidetalk. Above all, show your loveand respect.PurposeTo guide a partner to explore inner yoni’s unique character and energy so you canrelax, open, and awaken to build intimacy and lovemaking skill.1. PREPARATIONSBegin by tidying up, heating your room, taking a ritual bath, and arranging spaceleaning back against a backjack or pile of pillows with legs spread. Often pillows underknees make it more comfortable for extended play. Props you may want to collect are aspeculum, mirror, flashlight, lubricant, towels, vibrator, and Crystal Wand or other sextoy. Use a soft towel or absorbent pad underneath to eliminate any self-consciousness offluids wetting the bed.2. SACRED SPACEUse whatever ritual actions and props help you make your play space sacred.Carefully choose soothing sensuous music. Acknowledge each other spiritually with aHeart Salutation. Discuss the Partnering Questions — desires, concerns, boundaries –before you actually begin.3. TOUCHHave your lover begin by slowly touching, caressing, and arousing you. Ask them tostart at the perimeter and circle towards yoni: legs, thighs, face, neck, tummy, breasts.Take your time and enjoy. Be sure to relax, breathe deeply, and make sounds thatexpress what you’re feeling. A good partner will remind you of these ways to be morepresent and enjoy more.4. OUTER YONIAsk your lover to touch outer yoni with a gentle loving Tantric touch. (A goodpartner would never approach yoni without permission.) Giver, try circling around theperimeter and gradually coming closer and closer. Squeeze her outer lips betweenthumb and forefinger, then gently rubbing the outer lips together.5. INNER VIEWINGIf you have a speculum and you’re willing, let your partner view the differentsurfaces and glands within yoni. Even if you don’t, you can spread your inner lips toreveal the outward third of yoni. Ask your partner to examine the membranes andidentify any of the different types of glands that surround yoni.6. INSIDE YONIAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 92Ask your partner to lick or lubricate a finger and slowly circle it as far as their handwill turn around yoni’s opening in both directions from 12 o’clock (the top side) to 6o’clock (the bottom side). Do they feel different sensations at any clock position? Doestheir finger feel any differences in texture or shape?7. DEEPERWith gentle Tantric touch, ask your partner to insert a finger another inch and repeatthe circling motions, continuing to feel inside and out. Guide your partner to go deeperone inch at a time as far as possible discovering different feelings and sensations. Havethem combine in and out with circling strokes while descending. Also, tighten your PCmuscle so your partner can feel the pressure on their finger in different positions. If theirhand or finger gets too tired, encourage them to remove it and shake out the tensionbefore continuing. Whenever you decide the time is right, feel free to have them switchto using a toy like the Crystal Wand.8. TURN-ONIf you want, after learning together you can switch your attention to pleasure andenjoy yourself to the max. Guide your partner to continue doing strokes that really turnyou on. Use Orgasmic Breathing to intensify and spread sexual energy around yourbody. Your partner can help by reminding you if necessary. Though orgasm isn’tnecessary, if you want to end with one, enjoy yourself.9. COOL DOWNWhen you’re ready to stop, be sure your partner knows to follow your lead. Do youwant gradual slowing or simply holding still? Whatever you prefer, ask your lover notto abruptly break contact. Instead, have them cup and hold yoni with their palm, whiletheir other hand is on your heart. Look in each other’s eyes and breathe together.10. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space by talking about what happened, giving each other a HeartSalutation and doing whatever works for you to give thanks for the pleasure your bodybrings you.5.6 Sacred Gate Section”…An erotic zone could always be demonstrated on the anterior wall of the vagina along thecourse of the urethra…which seems to be surrounded by erectile tissue.” —— ErnstGräfenberg in The Role Of Urethra In Female OrgasmIn Search Of The Mysterious G-SpotJust like us, we hope you’ve repeated the previous practices multiple times with great fun,pleasure, and learning. If you have, you’ve most likely discovered the Sacred Gate to SupremeBliss.Of course, we’re referring to the female G-Spot, the erectile tissue inside yoni under thelining of the belly-side wall. We call this yoni’s “front” surface since it’s the inner side closest to alover on top or in front.You know that, when aroused, erectile tissues fill with blood by getting “engorged.” Did youknow that erectile tissues get even more sensitive when swollen? We bet you did. Besides GSpots,nipples and clios enjoy this divine gift. Guys carry one great little expandable example oferectile tissue between their legs.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 93Sorry, guys, we mean BIG example.Conflicting InstructionsWhere is the G-Spot? Because it’s a slang term, that’s a difficult question to answer exactly.First, there are many conflicting teachings about the size of the G-Spot out there. Some sayit’s the size of a pea, some a bean, some say a silver dollar (2.5 cm if you’re unfamiliar with U.S.currency). Actually, the truth is that some are bigger and some are smaller.Some say it’s one to two inches inside yoni, or near the urethral opening. Gräfenberg, whomthe spot is named after, highlighted the area near the bladder at yoni’s top end. Others directyou mid-way between the cervix at yoni’s end and the pubic bone. There’s some truth in allthese conflicting descriptions as we’ll explain below.Much of the confusion and difficulty stems from that fact that this powerful “orgasmictrigger” isn’t one well-defined organ like a male prostate gland or a female ovary.Taking Aim At A Moving TargetWhat we call the Sacred Gate or G “Spot” is in reality the female prostate or urethral sponge.That’s comprised of the 40 or so little paraurethral glands with their accompanying ducts andblood vessels surrounding the urethra. The urethra and its spongy insulation run along thefront wall of yoni.Some believe the biological purpose of the sponge is to protect the fragile urinary canal froma hard thrusting vajra when it gets engorged. Makes sense, huh?Again, here’s the good news. The female prostate, AKA urethral sponge, is erectile. So whenyou excite it, it swells under the surface of yoni’s skin. You feel the hard “bean” under yoni’slining.This explains why many lovers have trouble finding the G-Spot and enjoying stimulation.Because it’s under the lining of yoni’s front wall, it’s not particularly sensitive or even noticeablewithout a high level of excitement. Many women report little or no feeling at first. Some evenfeel initial discomfort that obviously discourages further play.As every conscious lover knows, each woman is different. Each woman folk prefersdifferent strokes at different times. So unless you tune in to her unique formula in the moment,you may not feel her Sacred Gate at all.Different KindsFurther, it’s hard to find the G-Spot because there are four different kinds of femaleprostates. In 1999, Zaviacic published his scientific findings that illustrated how the distributionof the paraurethral glands and ducts varies from woman to woman.In most women, he discovered the greatest density of female prostate glands was locatednear the urethral opening. Here are the percentages of women he found with different kinds ofprostates…% Of Women Location Of Glands & Ducts70% near meatus urethral opening by yoni’s mouth15% near the bladder at yoni’s top end7% mid-way back between yoni’s mouth and cervix8% had minimal glands and ducts.What this means is that your partner’s most erectile Sacred Gate tissue is likely nearer yoni’smouth. Even so, the deeper little “tail” of the meatus-type female prostate can be highlysensitive.Of course, the Sacred Gate of 30% of women follows a different pattern. There’s a realchance it could deeper inside, or not very excitable without long dedicated arousal.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 94So Where Is It Exactly?With the “G-Spot” better defined, can we now explain exactly where it is? Well, yes and no.Additionally, different parts of the urethral sponge can be aroused at different times. Thatmakes it seem that the G-Spot moves from time to time, even within one lovemaking session.Visualize a clock superimposed over yoni’s mouth while a woman is lying on her back. Weknow the Sacred Gate appears most often at the 12 o’clock position. But sometimes it’s found at11 or 1 o’clock. Most sex manuals instruct us to curl a finger upward toward yoni’s front andreach around behind the pubic bone to find the area of the urethral sponge that’s particularlyexcitable. We now know this doesn’t contact the bulk of the G-Spot for most women, although itmay make its deep tail feel real good.If you don’t know which bone we’re talking about, just slide your hand from your bellybutton down toward your jewels. (This works for men as well.) If you press inward, you’ll feelthe soft give of your tummy until somewhere around your pubic hair. When you feel the hardstructure near the surface, that’s your pubic bone. From within, you can feel the underside ofthis floating bone by pressing up towards your belly through yoni’s front wall.The good news is that there’s a surefire way to find the Sacred Gate. Usually the tissuecovering the erect part of the sponge becomes rough and wrinkly, like a cat’s tongue. This is thedirect result of the urethral sponge getting engorged with blood. Search for the corduroy andyou’ll increase your chances of zooming in quickly. Couple that with searching under yoni’slining for the little swollen glands that sometimes feel like a bean and you’ve got it.Just remember not to rest on your laurels and keep sensing with your fingertips in case itmoves.EXERCISE: G-Spot Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to use for reflecting, journalling, or talking…• How easily can you find your G-Spot?• What kind of female prostate do you or your partner have?• What makes your or your partner’s G-Spot swell the most?What’s In A Name?Since it’s not really a fixed point, the term “G-Spot” isn’t really very accurate. Dr. John D.Perry, one of the original authors of the 1982 best-selling “The G-Spot” book, still believes it’s thebest compromise amongst the available poor choices.As we’ve said, many sexologists use G-Area, G-Crest, or urethral sponge as well asparaurethral or Skene’s glands. The term “female prostate,” once quite common, is becomingmore accepted again. Many Tantrikas use the ancient term “sacred spot.”As you’ve seen, we prefer to call the G-Spot the “Sacred Gate.” This term reminds us that theerectile tissue of the urethral sponge/female prostate is a doorway to sensational sexualpleasure, deep intimacy, amazing ecstasy, emotional connection, and Supreme Bliss.Why Don’t More Women Know Where It Is?Why haven’t more women discovered the pleasure accessible through their Sacred Gatethemselves?Well, not everyone believes it’s there. Many don’t know where and how to find it. It’s hardfor many to reach even if they had a map and detailed instructions. Each woman’s uniquephysique may require a different body position. Also, it’s smaller in post menopausal womenand therefore harder to locate.Every woman knows the location of her lips, breasts, and clio without searching. Let’s notforget that how strongly females, as well as males, are conditioned against self-pleasuring. EvenAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 95if a woman overcomes these taboos to search for her own G-Spot, she might miss it withoutsufficient turn-on beforehand.Remember, it’s erectile, under yoni’s lining, and therefore virtually undetectable withoutadequate stimulation. Further, the Sacred Gate gets larger and more easily erect with repeatedstimulation. When you’re searching initially, it’s more likely to hide than come out to play rightaway.No Luck With An Urgent ProblemAs you’ve read, without proper stimulation, Sacred Gate play is often unremarkable,uncomfortable, or even painful at first.Initial pressure on the Sacred Gate often creates what the medical world calls “urgency,” thefeeling that you need to pee. For obvious reasons, our name for this sensation is the P-Signal.We believe women get the P-Signal when their engorged urethral sponge presses on the neck oftheir bladder and urethra. Even when empty, this feels identical to the pressure caused by a fullbladder.The anatomy connection makes this clearer. Remember that clio’s tip and most of the PCmuscle are fed by the pudendal nerve. The bladder, uterus, and G-Spot, as well as the inner partof the PC muscle, are serviced by the pelvic nerve. It makes sense that this deeper nervepathway is harder to arouse sexually. But when it is, the sensations are felt deeper in thebladder and uterus. A woman untrained in the ways of Sacred Gate massage and femaleejaculation most likely interprets these P-Signals incorrectly.In a later chapter, Ecstatic States, we’ll explore different kinds of orgasms from differentkinds of stimulation. At this point we’ll just leave you with this message: Sacred Gate Orgasmscreate a deeper kind of pleasure than most clio orgasms can ever account for.Begone That Messy Wet Spot!Learning to handle the P-Signal is a vital gauntlet all women need to pass through to enjoySacred Gate Orgasm and female ejaculation. Now that we’ve launched our initial campaign torelax you about your fluid emanations, let us add a really valuable tip.No one should have to sleep in a wet spot after sex. No one should have to hold back duringsex for fear of dousing the bed, rug, or furniture by ejaculating. No one should have to avoidsex because it’s that time of the month. Don’t you agree?Which is why our friend Karen Fowler created Luv Liners and Luv Linens. These are superabsorbent,waterproof pads designed to keep your lovemaking space clean and dry during sex.Luv Liners are soft and disposable while Luv Linens are washable and reusable. Now you haveoptions! And they’re really inexpensive.Karen created these big soft coverings so that people everywhere can have the luxury ofenjoying the wettest sex ever without worrying about the mess. Why sleep on a towel or get upto change the sheets after a good nights lovin’ if you don’t have to?Luv Linens & Luv LinersSure, you can buy little ugly incontinence protectors at the d**g store (or chemist shop inthe UK). We just really prefer the much larger, colorful, and patterned ones Karen has speciallymade for gushy lovers like her and us.Luv Liners and Luv Linens provide protection and peace of mind for love’s most slipperymoments. They give you permission to enjoy the wettest sex ever and let your love flowwithout hesitation. Luv Linens are the ultimate “christening blanket” allowing you to beadventurous and enjoy sex wherever you desire.Let’s face it a bunched-up towel doesn’t quite do the job does it?Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 96Using Luv Linens gives you the freedom to take your love life to a whole new level. Imaginehow free you’ll feel to relax and let your love flow orgasm after orgasm after orgasm when youknow your bed, sofa, tablecloth, or rug will be clean and dry no matter how much passion youenjoy.Now, there’s no need to hold back. No sheets to change, no more ruined towels, sheets. ormattresses. No more wet spots to endure. How awesome is that!For more information and ordering, please click here….PRACTICE: Solo Sacred Gate DiscoveryDescriptionFor reassurance, it’s a good idea for a woman to empty her bladder before this kind ofplay. And while you’re preparing, grab a couple of thick towels to lie on for that extrasense of security, just in case you ejaculate. More about that soon.As we’ve said, getting your fingers inside yoni with enough pressure on your G-Spotmay be awkward for extended periods of time. We suggest you try your best this way atfirst. But also have available a Crystal Wand, curved dildo, or vibrator able to reacharound behind your pubic bone.PurposeTo locate your Sacred Gate and begin getting in touch with how different stimulationfeels.1. PREPARATIONSBegin by tidying up, heating your room, taking a ritual bath, putting on erotic music,and creating a Sacred Space with a namasté and leaning back against a backjack or pileof pillows with legs spread. Do this in front of a mirror if you like. Once aroused, you’llprobably have to get up on your feet or knees to reach your Sacred Gate. Props you maywant to collect are water, lubricant, towels, and Crystal Wand or other sex toy. Use a softtowel or absorbent pad underneath to eliminate any self-consciousness of fluids wettingthe bed. Be sure your bladder is empty before you begin.2. TOUCHBegin by slowly touching, caressing, and arousing yourself from the perimeter andcircle towards yoni. Caress outer yoni and clio with your preferred lubricant to get themboth real hot. Use fantasy if you’d like. Then lick or lubricate a finger and slowly circlearound yoni’s opening gradually going deeper inside with an in and out stroke. Takeyour time and enjoy because your G-Spot may not come out to play unless you’re reallyturned on. Be sure to relax, breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’refeeling.3. LOCATEWhen you’re aroused enough, you’ll begin to feel some places on yoni’s upper walllining become rougher and more wrinkly like corduroy. You might feel the prostateharden like a bean beneath the surface somewhere between yoni’s inside end andmeatus near her mouth. You won’t be sure which kind of prostate you have until youthoroughly massage and excite the whole extent of your urethral sponge. With a fewminutes of continued stroking, your Sacred Gate will swell, get larger, and harden in thesame way that a clio and vajra do.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 974. SQUATIf you find you can’t reach deep enough inside or your muscles start protesting,continue on your knees or by squatting. Sometimes some experimenting is necessary tofind the most comfortable position for G-Spot access.5. PRESSUREGradually increase the pressure on the rough and hard spots on the upper wall within and out strokes about once per second. Curl your finger around the pubic bone whenfully inserted, making a come hither motion as you pull out.6. DON’T STOPAs your Sacred Gate gets more engorged, you may feel P-Signals, that convince youthat you have to pee. This means you’re really getting there. Simply breathe andcontinue. If you relax into it, the sensation will pass quickly. Remember, you justemptied your bladder. If you believe it’s full again, go to the toilet to make sure and thencome back and resume.7. TOYWhenever you decide the time is right, feel free to switch to a vibrator or dildo. This iswhere the Crystal Wand really shines, giving you leverage to apply strong pressurearound behind your pubic bone. Find out what kind of pressure you like.8. GO FOR ITUse Orgasmic Breathing to intensify and spread sexual energy around your body.Though it’s not necessary, enjoy one or more powerful Sacred Gate Orgasms if youwant. If you do, instead of stopping abruptly, be sure to cover yoni as you graduallycool down.9. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space by giving yourself a namasté and doing whatever works foryou to give thanks for the pleasure your body brings you.How To Find It And What To Do When You DoWe love sexual union with vajra inside yoni. But for many women, it’s difficult to get goodSacred Gate stimulation from a pumping vajra. Students of the Kama Sutra know that certainunique sexual positions work best for different body type combinations as our later chaptershows.The anatomy of the Sacred Gate is why. Providing enough pressure on yoni’s upper wallaround behind the pubic bone is necessary. This is nearly impossible with the all-too-popularstandard missionary position.For many women’s bodies, it’s easier for a partner to locate and awaken their Sacred Gatewith fingers. Trained fingers most often work much better than vajras for G-Spot play.If sex to you has been limited to the old in-an-out, here is a wonderful opportunity to dropyour old beliefs and start experimenting with what works uniquely for you. Like defining sex asanything that makes your body feel good.Which explains the intent of the next, the final practice, in this chapter.PRACTICE: Partner Sacred Gate DiscoveryDescriptionFor a partner to find your Sacred Gate with their fingers requires that you guide themto the right place with your preferred strokes. Which is why, even if your lover knowsAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 98where and how to look for a your G-Spot, the perennial challenges of sexualcommunication can get in the way.If you approach this kind of play as conscious Tantric Sex however, you’ll growthrough these kinds of problems. With the right attitude, guidance, and experience, youcan easily teach a lover to stimulate the best place at each moment. Goddess, rememberto guide your partner lovingly and often.The following practice offers a great chance to practice. It’s instructions closely mirrorthe solo practice above.Don’t forget, you, the Goddess, must be quite aroused before your partner can evenfind the Sacred Gate.PurposeTo help your lover locate your Sacred Gate and begin learning how to pleasure it.1. PREPARATIONSBegin by tidying up, heating your room, taking a ritual bath, putting on erotic music,and creating a Sacred Space with a Heart Salutation. Arrange your body so you can leanback against a backjack or pile of pillows with legs spread. Props you may want tocollect are water, lubricant, towels, and Crystal Wand or other sex toy. Use a soft towelor absorbent pad underneath to eliminate any self-consciousness of fluids wetting thebed. Be sure to discuss the Partnering Questions – desires, concerns, boundaries – andempty your bladder before you actually begin.2. TOUCHBegin by asking your lover to slowly touch, caress, and arouse your body from theperimeter and circle towards yoni. Have your partner massage outer yoni and clio withyour preferred lubricant to get them both real hot. Use fantasy if you’d like. When you’reready, ask your lover to lick or lubricate a finger and slowly circle around yoni’s openinggradually going deeper inside with an in and out stroke. Guide them to take their timebecause your G-Spot may not come out to play unless you’re really turned on. Be sure torelax, breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’re feeling.3. LOCATEWhen you’re aroused enough, guide your lover to explore yoni’s front wall lining,feeling for where it’s rougher and more wrinkly like corduroy. They might feel theprostate harden like a bean beneath the surface somewhere between yoni’s inside endand meatus near her mouth. Guide your partner to thoroughly massage and excite thearea of your urethral sponge that most responded during solo play. With a few minutesof continued stroking, your Sacred Gate will swell, get larger, and harden much like clioand vajra do.4. PRESSUREAsk your lover to gradually increase the pressure on the rough and hard spots on theupper wall with in and out strokes about once per second. Have them curl a fingeraround the pubic bone when fully inserted, making a come hither motion as they pullout.5. DON’T STOPAs your Sacred Gate gets more engorged, you may feel P-Signals, convincing you thatyou have to pee. This means you’re really getting there. Simply breathe and continueAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 99and the feeling will pass quickly. Remember, you just emptied your bladder. If you’reconvinced it’s full again, go to the toilet to make sure and then come back and resume.6. TOYIf you liked it during solo play, feel free to ask your lover to switch to using a vibratoror dildo. The Crystal Wand really shines with partner play as well, giving leverage toapply strong pressure around behind your pubic bone. If you discovered where andhow you really like strong pressure, now is a good time to guide your lover to give it toyou.7. GO FOR ITUse Orgasmic Breathing to intensify and spread sexual energy around your body.Though it’s not necessary, feel free to enjoy one or more powerful Sacred Gate Orgasmsif you want.8. COOL DOWNWhen you’re ready to stop, be sure your partner knows to follow your lead. Do youwant gradual slowing or simply holding still? Whatever you prefer, ask your lover notto abruptly break contact. Instead, have them cup and hold yoni with their palm, whilethe other hand is on your heart. Look in each other’s eyes and breathe together.9. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space by talking about what happened, giving each other a HeartSalutation, and doing whatever works for the two of you to give thanks for the pleasureyou’ve created together.5.7 Closing SectionThe anatomy of the Goddess is truly wondrous and all the elements are so artisticallyintertwined.You learned about clio, yoni, both inside and outside. You practiced different ways toexplore and talk about what you feel with different kinds of stimulation.You now know the latest information available about the nature of the G-Spot, the SacredGate to Supreme Bliss, its idiosyncrasies and its delights. Look for much more about pleasuringthe Sacred Gate in the next Sacred Gate Massage Chapter, and later ones on Ecstatic States andFemale Ejaculation.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 100Chapter 6: Sacred Gate Massage”Don’t let another day go by without the magic touch.”—– Neil Young from sleeps With Angels6.1 Opening SectionPurposesThe purposes of this chapter are to…• Understand how to be a Tantric lover.• Practice the basic strokes of Sacred Gate massage.• Use Sacred Gate massage for maximum pleasure.Giving Shakti PleasureThere are many ways to give ultimate pleasure to Shakti (a woman’s) Sacred Gate. You’veprobably stumbled upon that perfect moment when your thrusts hit just the right spot.Maybe you were conscious of what worked and then you tried to reproduce it. SinceShakti’s arousal is changeable, what worked once might not have worked the same way thenext time. All too often we can’t recreate the exact circumstances for that fantastic sexual high.But we can create new ones.In this chapter, we’re going to dispel the mystery about giving a woman pleasure. Hereyou’re going to learn the art and science of Sacred Gate massage. We’re primarily talking aboutusing your fingers, though we’ll include some guidance about using sex toys for giving to apartner as well as to yourself.By the end, you’ll know all the options. We can’t promise you’ll never be confused or knowexactly the perfect thing to do in every moment in every situation. Female stimulation is amoving target. But when you’re done, you’ll know everything there is to know about how togive and receive Sacred Gate pleasure, and how to react to unique circumstances.Practices AheadOnce you’ve determined the pleasure formula for a specific Goddess in a specificlovemaking session, Sacred Gate massage is essentially simple. There are just a lot of options tochoose from getting to that point. So this chapter breaks down G-Spot pleasure into a series ofpractices of increasing complication and increasing stimulation.You’ll probably want to rush ahead to the juicier bits and push for a resounding orgasmsooner rather than later. We understand these innate urges to seek rapid rewards. We think it’sa better idea to read the whole chapter before beginning intensive practice.Playing spontaneously, full out, with wild abandon is great. We just suggest you do it later,in later practices, in a few days or weeks. If you’ve been making love for 1, 10, or 30 yearswithout these techniques, what’s another few weeks to gradually incorporate Sacred Gate playinto your repertoire.Remember, the Tantric way is to slowly savor each morsel of new delight and draw out thepleasure as long as you can.When To Start Sacred Gate PlayIf you’ve read the previous chapters on Tantric LovePlay and Sacred Landscape, you’velearned that the Sacred Gate only comes out to play when sufficiently excited.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 101How will you know when she’s aroused enough for intense G-Spot stimulation? The morearoused she is, the more her Sacred Gate becomes engorged with blood. It swells like a crest,protruding down from the concave front wall of inner yoni, making it convex.Until you’re sure, continue with loveplay. Here’s a not-so-subtle warm-up reminder:whisper sweet everythings, kiss softly and deeply, caress everywhere, use Kama Sutra”embraces,” and titillate yoni endlessly. Don’t dive right for the Sacred Gate until you’ve gottena clear signal that she’s really hot.One vital cue is yoni engorgement — pink, wet, and swollen with blood. You can easily tell ayoni with erect tissues because her lips open of their own accord and become very red. Formany women, lengthy clio play is an essential prerequisite. Some prefer touching and kissingon yoni’s lips, opening, and entryway first. For some, emotional closeness, intimacy, andfantasy is enough to engorge the Sacred Gate.Learn the pattern of arousal of the woman you aim to pleasure. Whatever her needs, be sureto dwell amply on awakening physical and energetic arousal before heading for her SacredGate.6.2 Giver Role SectionThe Attitude Of The Tantric LoverSince it’s a highly conscious, sacred experience, Tantric lovers approach sex in a unique way.Approaching the Sacred Gate for maximum healing and pleasure requires an attitude andcommitment that respects Shakti’s divine nature. It demands that a lover is fully available tomeet her needs.We like to describe this exacting but highly satisfying role with the 6 P’s…• Privilege• Presence• Patience• Partner• Pilgrim• Permission.Take these six guidelines to heart before you begin any yoni play. This applies to womengiving to women as much as men giving to women.You’re Privileged To Be Invited WithinEntering a woman’s yoni and reaching for her spirit through her Sacred Gate only workswhen the giver recognizes the trust being placed in them. Truly, it’s an awesome privilege andresponsibility. Approach with Feeling awe with the such intimacy is the perfect mindset.We mean you should think of your partner or yourself as a manifestation of all that’s goodand wondrous about the female. Revere the grace, power, and life energy of the feminine. If youact at all times in complete service of your queen, your Shakti, your offerings will be welcomedwith an unending outpouring of love, desire, and appreciation.If you want to know more about this reverent attitude, consult the Sacred Tantric SexualityChapter.Your Presence Is Your Greatest GiftMore than anything you might do during Sacred Gate play, being present is your mostimportant aim.We don’t just mean physically with your hands inside her. We mean mentally here now,emotionally accessible, and spiritually conscious. Listening fully with all your senses open isAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 102your foundation and a powerful way to say “I love you.” This is what women want more thananything else. It thoroughly turns them on.How do you show presence? Well, tuning out, daydreaming, and looking off into thedistance isn’t it. Interrupting her process and disappearing in the midst of a breakthroughcertainly disqualifies you.Rather, tune in so you notice what she’s experiencing in every moment. Tell her “I’m here foryou.” Respond directly to her every comment and request. And above all, maintain eye contactwhen she is available. She will close her eyes at times, but needs to know you aren’t checkingout.Just letting her know you’re there with her is almost enough.Be Patient, All Good Things Comes To Those Who WaitA big part of being here now is patience. Nowhere to go, nowhere to be, nothing else to dobut what you’re doing.As we’ve explained, it’s essential for both the receiver and the giver to drop any goals of asupreme experience or cosmic orgasm. The Goddess will likely experience amazing things, butpushing for them can easily block her ascending to new heights.Just let whatever is going to happen unfold of its own accord. Let nature take its coursewithout fighting the current. Face it, it takes as long as it takes, and there’s little you can do tospeed it up.Let sweet and gentle be your watchwords. Follow the Goddess and she’ll tell you when tobe strong.Support Your Partner, You’re Both In This TogetherContrary to cultural sexual patterns or beliefs drummed into us about what it means to be agood lover and how a “good girl “is supposed to act in bed, good sex is a joint effort. Both needto be active partners. One being passive while the other “does” them isn’t it.Every time you connect, agree where you both want to go together using the threePartnering Questions (desires, concerns, boundaries). Look after yourself and let your partnerknow how it’s going so they can support you. Communicate about what’s happening in themoment. Respond to what’s going on with your partner. Work together, no correct that, playtogether.Remember, you’re the two musketeers. All for one and one for all.As a giver, you want to reassure and comfort your partner. Be a full-time helper duringSacred Gate experiences. When she’s open to it, offer her guidance. When she thinks she knowswhat she wants, let her be in control. If she’s struggling, assure her that she doesn’t have to do itall by herself and that you’re there for her.When she’s having a powerful experience, feel it yourself and enjoy it. When pleasure isyour goal, not orgasm, you can only get it right and never get it wrong.Above all, encourage her to fully receive and absorb all you’re giving. In the spirit of truepartnership, you know you’ll get yours eventually.Just A Pilgrim Searching For The Promised LandWho can always accurately predict a Shakti’s reactions? Not even she, most of the time.It’s best if a giver of Sacred Gate massage acts like an explorer, discovering unchartedterritory. Be a pilgrim searching for hidden secrets with little in the way of maps. Stay in awe ofthe wonders you stumble upon.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 103You won’t really know what she wants in this exact moment until it turns her on. Stay alertto her breathing, sounds, and movements. When she moves towards you and presses on yourfinger, she wants more. When she withdraws and pulls away, she wants less.Be prepared for anything to happen. Your hands might be rocked violently by a buckingbronco in the throws of orgasm. You might run headlong into a hysterical outburst. You mightget sprayed with female nectar. Or it may seem from the outside that nothing is happening.You just have to accept that you don’t know it all and can’t predict the future. Ego is one ofthe primary enemies of sacred sexuality. What worked yesterday may fall flat today. Whathasn’t worked for months may suddenly become the key that unlocks huge recesses ofKundalini energy. What she thought was just OK previously is all she wants you to do fromnow on.Always stay tuned for late breaking news and you’ll do fine.Ask Permission Before Entering The Promised LandIf the G-Spot is the gate to the sacred joys of untold pleasure, the yoni is assuredly thesacred garden. You don’t enter such a temple without permission. A Tantric lover alwaysshows how deeply they embrace the earlier five P’s by asking before moving forward andinward.You can be straightforward, “I’m going to put a finger inside you now, OK?” Or you can beTantric and romantic, “May I enter your sacred garden, oh, sweet beloved, of my dreams?” Beserious or make it lighthearted, but don’t forget. Above all else, asking before penetrating is theheight of respect.Whether or not you buy the flowery talk of the Goddess’s divine presence within a woman’syoni, this is one guideline every man needs to take to heart. Maybe this is one of the reasonssome women prefer the touch of other women. They instinctively know what they’re riskingwhen they open themselves this way.Even if you’ve been in relationship a long time, ask before penetrating. It puts the Goddessin power when she most needs the security of knowing it’s her call to say yes or no at any time.If she wants to play out a fantasy sometime where you take her without asking, we thinkthat’s fine. Just recognize, she gave you permission at the beginning of your encounter. That’sdifferent than blanket permission where she gives her power away. We advise against that. Ifyou want a Tantric partnership, encourage her to make her own decisions in every moment.Maybe it goes without saying, but we’ll say it anyway. When she asks you to depart,graciously and gently withdraw. You’re inside yoni by invitation only. Respect the privilegeand you’re likely to be invited again soon for more divine play.EXERCISE: 5 Tantric P’s Discussion QuestionsHere are some statements to complete by reflecting, journalling, or talking with yourpartner about…• Describe the Tantric attitude and what you will do to make it part of yourlovemaking…• Review the 5 Tantric P’s. Describe what each means to you…• Privilege…• Presence…• Patience…• Partner…• Pilgrim…• Permission…Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 104• Evaluate yourself on each of the 6 P’s.• Describe what difficulties you’ve had with each…• Describe what you plan to do about each…6.3 Receiver Prerequisites SectionAt Disneyland, you need an “E” ticket for the best rides. To ride the wave of bliss whenreceiving G-Spot massage, you need six “E” tickets. The six basic receiver prerequisites todelightful Sacred Gate play are…• Relaxation• Communication• Arousal• Empty Bladder• Lube• Drop Expectations.Learn To RelaxShakti, if you’re too tense, your Sacred Gate may not be fully open to receiving visitors.Tension can prevent you from getting sufficiently aroused to enjoy the intense stimulation ofSacred Gate play.If you want to become more relaxed, look back at the Kundalini Energy, Tantric LovePlay,and Sacred Landscape Chapters. Build your sexual muscles so they have the tone to easily relax.Spend more time practicing with Orgasmic Breathing. Do more solo exploration of your yoniinside and out. Learn to enjoy sexual pleasure through self-pleasuring as a sacred ritual.If relaxation in sexual situations doesn’t come easily to you, you might want to look into thisfirst. Ask yourself where does this sexual stress that blocks excitement come from?It could be a lack of intimacy and trust with your partner. It could be that you’re puttingpressure on yourself to perform. Perhaps you’re conflicted about sex in general as a result ofconscious or u*********s social judgments and moral taboos. It could be that past abuse andwounds are creating too much anxiety for you to relax. We address these issues extensively inthe Yoni grandbetting güvenilirmi Healing Chapter.In the meantime, we can only suggest you go slowly, breathe, and take heed of how theother receiver prerequisites can help you relax.Lots Of Open Two-Way CommunicationThe more you talk about sex in general and Sacred Gate play in specific, the more pleasureyou’ll have sooner. Especially while you’re learning, communicate about your desires, concerns,and boundaries before you begin each session.Ask for what you want in each moment, or as much as you know in each moment. Givefeedback supportively. Ask anytime you’re unsure. If something is on your mind, let it go bytalking about it. Otherwise the inner distraction may prevent you from relaxing into pleasurewhen you most want to.When you’re beginning Sacred Gate play, don’t worry that speaking up may interrupt themood. That sensitivity is more appropriate later as you get grooved in. Instead, use the c***dlikespirit of “Playing Doctor” to approach these practices in a fresh, innocent, new way. Drop anyshyness, inhibitions, judgments you’ve carried about sex. Remember, it’s a divine gift fromGod/Goddess.As a receiver, be as responsive to loveplay as you can and use non-verbal communication toshow it. The more you practice the four cornerstones of Supreme Bliss — breath, sound,Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 105movement, and presence — the more you’ll partner will know what’s going on with you withoutwords. You can always use the Feedback Sandwich from the Tantric LovePlay Chapter whenyou want something adjusted.Be sure to compliment anything and everything that your partner does during you sexualantics. Since your lover will want to give you more of what you like, don’t be careful aboutasking, be out there and go for it. At first, you probably won’t recognize all your feelings andreactions in the moment. So it helps, after each session, to openly talk about what was best,what you’d like to be different, and things to play with next time.Get Highly Aroused FirstAs you’ve heard many times already, many lovers — both givers and receivers — have beenbewildered about Sacred Gate stimulation. Certainly, that’s because it’s not a fixed spot, itmoves, and because it often hides until awakened. Even more, we think many try to push thisexciting orgasmic trigger before getting highly aroused.We wonder how many women have found their G-Spot but didn’t like the sensations itproduced because they weren’t turned on enough.Shakti, embed one clear thought in your mind as you approach Sacred Gate play, especiallywith a new lover: yoni must be thoroughly and deliciously engorged first. The front wall of theinner yoni won’t engorge without sufficient loveplay. Until this happens, any kind of touch,especially hard and fast strokes, will probably be uncomfortable, even painful, before yourSacred Gate is fully open.If you read the previous section about permission, you’ll understand why we’re telling youthis. You are responsible for your own pleasure. Even if you’re flat on your back with your legsup, you’re in the driver’s seat. If you want the zenith of sexual pleasure, you have to steer.You’ve learned what your body likes, right? You know how to communicate about yourpreferences, right? If so, tell your partner. If not, we suggest you go back to the CommunicationSection of our Tantric LovePlay Chapter.Empty Your Bladder FirstEmpty your bladder before G-Spot play. A full bladder makes it more difficult to relax. Notonly is this sensation distracting, but there’s that worry about letting go at the wrong time andmaking a mess.Hopefully, you’ve read about the P-Signal, the feeling that you need to pee that occurs withSacred Gate engorgement. If you don’t know about this and are worried that your bladder isn’tempty, you might keep your PC muscle clamped down tight. All by itself, this might stop yourpleasure, your orgasm, and your delightful ejaculation.Shakti, if you’re confident that your bladder is empty and you understand that the P-Signalis normal, it will be easier for you to relax and let things go. Resting on a couple of soft towelsand an absorbent pad can help free your mind of calamities, too. Which is why we’veintroduced you to Luv Liners and Luv Linens. For more information, click here….Use Lots Of LubricationWe must face one of the inalienable truths of Sacred Gate play: dry scratching is not any fun.Which explains our next entry reminder: get wet and stay wet.Just like guys who tie up much of their self-image in their erections and stamina, somewomen connect their desirability with how much their yoni lubricates during arousal. Wouldn’tit be great to always live in the fantasy of romance novels that seeing just the right bulge,Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 106hearing just the right words, or being caressed just the right way will make your yoni flowcopiously?When we’re young and horny or separated from our beloved for too long, it’s often the case.But let’s face reality. Age, health, physical condition, diet, and medication — not to mentionmenopause — all affect a woman’s natural sexual lubrication. Fantasy is great when you reallyexperience it. But we don’t always.So? Our response, as always, is the Tantric one — no big deal. Our only interest is pleasure.Not giving a performance of any kind. Not living up to any mental image. Not competing withanyone.Simply make sure you introduce lots of lubricant. Saliva is a great “wetifier.” That’s one ofthe reasons why, in our Tantric LovePlay Chapter, we encourage oral romping for the longesttime before Sacred Gate play.If oral play isn’t your cup of tea or saliva doesn’t last long enough, never fear. There aremany commercial varieties of personal lubricants available. Remember only to use water-basedlubricants inside yoni. Some examples are Probe, Wet Light, Astroglide, Liquid Silk, and KYJelly or KY Liquid, but there are lots more. We don’t recommend you introduce oil or petroleumbased products into the delicate natural balance of the yoni’s flora.You can find them at sex shops all over the world. Try small samples to see what you prefer.Your local d**g store probably stocks several kinds. Or if that’s too embarrassing for you, tryone of the adult sex product websites in the resources section of our website at….Who’s in charge of making sure you’re wet enough? You both are! But as a receiver, you’llprobably know that you need more first. Ask for more, or keep a bottle near you and douseyourself.Drop ExpectationsSacred Gate play is a doorway to an exalted universe of pleasure, ecstasy, and alteredconsciousness. Those aren’t measurable, programmable qualities. If you enter any kind ofloveplay with orgasm, ejaculation, or spiritual enlightenment as a goal, you can well block theflow of energy that will propel you higher.Supreme Bliss happens in the moment. Expectations take you out of it, into the future.The most common goal lovers set is orgasm. This can put performance pressure on you aswell as the giver. If you’re worried about whether or not you will orgasm, you can produceperformance anxiety. Trying to reproduce the excitement of a previous encounter can distractyou also, whether giver or receiver. All get in the way of enjoyment.Instead, learn to enjoy pleasure right now. Learn to bask in your vibrations and those ofyour partner. Appreciate the pleasure coursing through you now. Accept that it may stop at anymoment and that you’ll be complete, whatever happens. Make what you’re feeling in thismoment enough. Since arousal is often a moving target, tune in to “que sera sera,” whatever willbe, will be. Flow spontaneously, responding to cues, signals, and intuitions.What’s the ultimate prescription for opening the Sacred Gate to supreme pleasure? Forgetthe past and the future. Focus on what’s happening now.EXERCISE: Receiver Prerequisites Discussion Questions• Consider or discuss the six receiver prerequisites…• Relaxation…• Communication…• Arousal…Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 107• Empty Bladder…• Lubricants…• Drop Expectations…• What does each mean?• What are your feelings, thoughts, & reactions to each?• Do you have a problem with any that might interfere with your Sacred Gate play?• Is there an alternative both of you can agree on?6.4 Sacred Gate Massage Positions SectionWhile there are limited ways to reach your own G-Spot, there are several positions we’llshare with your here that Shakti can assume during partner play. Comfort is essential for bothgiver and receiver. Tension in the giver’s body telegraphs quickly and can close down theGoddess’s energy channels. This can also happen in Shakti’s own body while self-pleasuring.The Tantric approach, as we’ve made clear, is not simply to get off, but to enjoy everydelicacy of sensation thoroughly. That requires the learning curve of discovering what worksbest for your bodies. We recommend you experiment with the following positions before youget into serious Sacred Gate play. Then you’ll know which to use, how to adjust them, andwhich to eliminate.Once you get going on the partner G-Spot massage, we urge you to speak up immediately ifyou find a leg going to sleep, a back spasming, or a finger cramping. Even if you’re on the vergeof something great happening, welcome your partner taking responsibility for their comfort.There are six basic positions we’ve used for easy access to the Sacred Gate. The first two canwork well for self-pleasuring.On Back With Legs SpreadThe most likely way for you to reach your own Sacred Gate is on your back with your legsspread. Try leaning against a bed’s headboard, an upside down backjack, or other comfortableprop. Though you probably can’t maintain it for long, the best access often comes with your legsin the air or your knees pressed up against your chest.Take a lesson here from the Kama Sutra. One of the reasons you see so many pillows inKama Sutra artwork is to provide support needed for lengthy play. Prop up your back, neck,and head if needed. Put throw pillows under your knees.One benefit of leaning against an upside-down backjack or throw pillows is you can arrangeyour Sacred Space in front of a mirror for self-pleasuring. If watching erotic scenes has anyaffect on you, watching yourself pleasure your special places can be a real boost.This woman-on-back position also allows easy yoni access and viewing for a giver sittingbetween her legs. If you move up as close as possible, you don’t have to lean over or stretchyour arms too far in front of your body. This is great for eye contact, also.To make this position work for both giver and receiver, you’ll need to deal with yourintersecting legs. The giver can put both under, both over, or one over and one under thewoman’s. As givers, we always lean against an upright backjack and prop pillows under kneesfor continuing comfort and minimum physical stress. You may be in this position for a while.Sitting Underneath One Of Her LegsWrist strain is a common physical problem when we’re giving G-Spot massage to a receiveron her back. While sitting between her legs and facing yoni directly, our palm-up hand oftengets cocked unnaturally towards the thumb. Sometimes we turn our body at an angle tocompensate. But this complicates the conflux of legs.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 108To adjust even more, you can move outside the woman’s legs. Have her leg rest over yourlap. By sitting underneath one her legs, you can adjust your hand’s angle of yoni entry to beperfectly straight ahead. Again, move as close as possible to reduce long-term strain.You see why we suggest you practice before you really get into it?Lying By Her SideAnother variation of the woman on her back position places the giver lying or sitting by herside. As before, the receiver is free to use pillows and props for maximum comfort. The giverreaches a hand over her hips and belly to yoni. To avoid arm and hand strain that can be aproblem in this position, rest the heel of the hand on her pubic bone. For many women, thispressure is arousing and may even stimulate yoni from the outside.A great advantage of this arrangement is the closeness and intimacy it creates. It allows forkissing, eye gazing, and much easier communication without interrupting the flow of SacredGate stimulation.Sitting By The BedThis variant of lying by her side is more comfortable for some. The woman lies comfortablyon the edge of the bed with whatever cushions are comfortable for her. She can lay flat or leanback against the headboard.The giver sits in a small chair, preferably without arms, next to the bed. If the giver’s armsare long enough to comfortably reach the receiver’s yoni for long periods of time, this positiongives maximum comfort for both giver and receiver.Woman Upright On KneesThe woman upright on her knees works for self-pleasuring as well as with a partner. Whenself-pleasuring this way, she can lean forward and bend over to reach inside. She has completefreedom to sway, gyrate, and dance as the spirit — and fingers — move her.This stance works well for a giver seated in front of her, with pillows or backjack forsupport. Because it allows such easy palm-up access, it’s probably the best for Sacred Gatediscovery practices.Of course, the downside is the fatigue that may develop by balancing upright for too long.Woman SquattingIf the receiver can comfortably squat long enough on her feet with knees bent, she providesthe most open access to inner yoni. Again, the giver sits in front of her, leaning against a couchor backjack if desired. Alternately, the woman can sit on the side of the giver’s lap by restingone of her butt cheeks on one of the giver’s legs. This lap variation also allows easy access to heropen yoni.Woman Hands & KneesDoggie-style lovemaking has a certain appeal to many lovers, maybe because that’s howa****ls do it. Whatever the motivation, some prefer the woman on her hands and knees withthe giver seated behind. Of course, in this position the Sacred Gate is on the bottom of the yoniso the giver’s hand needs to be palm-down.Spreading her weight on four limbs instead of two tends to be easier for a long-termpleasuring session. And this position allows the woman to move more freely than when prone.Variations on this theme place the receiver on a pile of pillows under her torso for the samekind of rear entry. Then she doesn’t need to support herself on her hands and knees. SomeGoddesses are comfortable completely flat on lying on their front, but this makes most giver’spalm-down reach more awkward.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 109PRACTICE: Experimenting With Sacred Gate Massage PositionsPurposeInstead of thinking about what would work best and debating at length, werecommend you try all the possible positions for a while and listen to your body’scomfort or strain.1. READTogether read over the previous section about finding the most comfortable positionfor Sacred Gate massage.2. PROPSCollect up pillows, cushions, towels, Luv Liners, and any available props likebackjacks so you’ll be ready for nearly anything.3. FIRST POSITIONHelp the receiver arrange herself most comfortably in the “On Back With LegsSpread” position. Then help the giver get into a comfortable supported place with onehand resting near the receiver’s yoni palm-up and the other resting palm-down lightlyon her belly.4. TALK ABOUT ITNow, spend a few minutes (5 or 10 minimum) talking about how it feels. If you want,continue discussing what you’re learning about Sacred Gate massage, sexual pleasure,and Tantric energy.5. ADJUSTIf you develop some strain, adjust your body and limbs to find a more comfortablevariation.6. OTHER POSITIONSWhen you’ve demonstrated how well the first position works for both of you, try theothers one at a time. Be patient. It took Somraj and Jeffre weeks to figure out what wasmost comfortable and most effective.7. FEEDBACKWhen you’ve tried them all, talk about what worked best for both of you for vision,access, and comfort for both long and short sessions.6.5 The Four Basic Strokes SectionThe four basic strokes of Sacred Gate massage are…• In-&-Out• Holding• Circling• Come-Hither.They all mean exactly what they say. If you don’t know the term, Come-Hither meanscrooking one or more fingers back towards your palm as if you were beckoning someone tocome towards you.When we refer to the giver’s fingers, we use these terms…• First Finger, the index finger or forefinger closest to the thumb.• Second Finger, the middle finger.• Third Finger, the ring finger.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 110• Fourth Finger, the little finger or pinkie.All of these strokes can be done with one or more fingers. Because most women like yoni tobe penetrated gradually, it’s often good to enter first with a smaller finger, say for example,your third or fourth finger. When she’s opened up and you want to go deeper, you can switchto your first or second finger.Two fingers at a time is popular with many experienced women. Some prefer three, four, oreven a whole fist. When you use two fingers, try both the first-second and second-thirdcombinations to see what your partner prefers and what is most comfortable for the giver. Withthe proper position and fortunate combination of anatomy, sometimes a thumb works well too.After practicing each stroke later in this section with one and two fingers, you’ll learn tovary these basic strokes by adjusting pressure and speed. Then we’ll show you how to interruptyour rhythm by tapping, vibrating, milking, and withdrawing to create different patterns withthe arousing element of surprise.Here is a description of the four basic strokes. As you’re reading, practice with one and twofingers on your other hand, simulating the entrance to a yoni. Hold the other hand palm-downand make a circle by touching the tips of your thumb and first finger together.By going through these motions while reading about the strokes, you’ll create neuronalpathways in your body so they’ll stay with you and become more instinctual.In-&-OutThe in-&-out stroke is where you’ll start Sacred Gate massage. In-&-out is simply insertingone or more straight fingers into a wet or well-lubricated yoni. It probably needs littleintroduction, most resembling the familiar and sought-after repeated motion of vajra’spenetration of yoni.Remember, giver, always warm up your partner, ask permission, and lubricate your fingerbefore any kind of insertion. At first, tease the inner lips, possibly rotating around the clock,with just one soft fingertip. Experiment with your first, second, and third fingers.Once yoni is completely wet and sucking your finger inside from your lengthy andelaborate introductory loveplay, slowly insert one finger joint and withdraw it gently. Withouta thought of rushing towards any destination, go deeper at a snail’s pace to two joints for thelongest time, then three as deep as you can reach.Try slowly rotating your finger left and right as far as your arm’s flexibility allows. Withyour palm up, feel all along yoni’s front wall with your finger. Can you feel the Sacred Gatecresting? Run your finger along its middle, sides, and gutters. Can you feel the corduroy? Focusyour strokes where it’s most rough.After a long slow sojourn of one-finger in-&-out, you can insert a second one, replaying thesame deepening progression. Try spreading two fingers apart so they slide along each side orgutter of the arched crest of the Sacred Gate.If Shakti can accommodate more and desires it, continue on with three and then fourfingers, and even your entire fist. Fisting a hot juicy yoni is an experience you’ll never forget.While you were reading, did you try in-&-out gently on your other hand? Later on, we’llexperiment with stronger pressures, faster speeds, and different cycles for some astonishingeffects.HoldingHolding means simply keeping your hand and fingers still while contacting the G-Spotarea. You can hold inside the yoni with one finger, two, or more if space allows.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 111Holding can be done by pressing your fingertips or with the finger pads where yourfingerprints are. Or you can press with the entire length of your fingers. Also, you can hold bycurving your fingers behind the pubic bone, just like the come-hither stroke except you remainstill against the front wall of yoni.Because it’s the gentlest maneuver, holding is a wonderful way to help a woman relax andopen to the intense flow of orgasmic Kundalini energy. This is vital early in a Sacred Gatemassage experience. If your partner is tense, nervous, or uncertain, be sure to hold for 10 to 30seconds each time you enter deeper with initial in-&-out strokes. Wait for signs of relaxation orarousal before moving on.A very comforting variation of the holding stroke is to cup yoni with your hand. This worksbest when the giver is in the lying-by-her-side position, resting the palm on clio and the mons.Occasionally give a gentle squeeze to reassure your partner you’re with her.Holding with stronger pressure or vibration can be extremely exciting as you’ll read shortly.Holding is essential when the energy becomes almost too extreme to tolerate, for example justafter an orgasm.Did you try the holding stroke on your other hand? If not, play with it now for a momentbefore continuing.CirclingStop your in-&-out motion and move your entire finger from side to side in a crescentshapedmotion over a sensitive area like a windshield wiper motion. If you pull out slightly atone side and push in at the other, you’ll be circling.Try both clockwise and counter-clockwise to see if one direction feels better. You can circlewith more than one finger for continuous contact on more sensitive tissues. Of course, the fulleryoni gets, the harder this becomes. Another variation is to make circles with just your fingertipsor pads. Once the Sacred Gate is engorged, this is a great technique to increase stimulation.Adding pressure and speed to circling can create some wonderful sensations. As with allthese strokes, try them out on your own hand first.Come HitherMany women really like fingertip pressure on their swollen prostate, especially aroundbehind the public bone. That’s why so many lovers pronounce the come-hither stroke the best.In actuality, it’s a modified in-&-out stroke. Since it needs to go deep, for most givers comehitheris easiest with the longest finger, the second.To begin the come-hither stroke, use your second finger to slowly penetrate your partner asfar as you can go with your palm facing towards the top of yoni. At the top of the “in,” curl yourfinger around behind the pubic bone. Keep your finger curled during the “out” so it dragsacross the deepest part of the Sacred Gate erogenous zone. That’s one come-hither.As with the other strokes, you can add fingers to the come-hither. Just imagine what a widespectrum of awesome sensations you can create by increasing pressure, speed, and surprisestarts and stops.How did that feel practicing on your other hand? Does it make sense why we described itearlier as crooking one or more fingers back towards your palm as if you were beckoningsomeone to come towards you?EXERCISE: Strokes Discussion QuestionsJournal or share the answers to the following questions with one another…• What are the four basic strokes?Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 112• Do you have any questions, doubts or anxieties before actually beginning the practiceof Sacred Gate Massage?• How are you feeling right now?• Are you ready to go for it?6.6 Practicing The Four Basic Strokes SectionSelf Sacred Gate MassageWe’re going to recommend the easiest way to play with the four basic strokes with yourfingers.We suggest you start with self-pleasuring since these techniques are by their very nature abit demanding. When you’re working with a partner, you have lots of other things toconcentrate on at the same time. Not to mention relationship dynamics of pressure,expectations, differing agendas, and the like. Once you master your G-Spot solo, we’ll provideample opportunity to bring a partner in and teach them what you’ve learned about yourself.If easily reaching inside is a challenge for you, you have several options…1) Practice for short periods of time and when you begin to feel muscle tension, take abreak and stretch.2) Practice using sex toys. More about this shortly.3) Practice with an amenable female friend.Oh my, we must sound really off the deep end here.Alternatives With FriendsA great way to learn about the Sacred Gate is by exploring another’s. It’s imperative that thereceiver opens her senses and reaches out with her consciousness, staying in touch what herpartner is doing while learning about her own body. But a giver learns much as well. If awoman has enjoyed intimate sexual play with another woman or is willing to experiment (all inthe interests of scientific discovery, of course), doing the practices in this chapter with anotherwoman will be a great learning.No, we’re not encouraging you to become bi-sexual or a lesbian. We just know thatfamiliarity with the territory is essential to fully opening your sexual channels. We don’t judgepeople for their pleasure-seeking desires and their conscious choices. We don’t hang labels onpeople who experiment for good reason, or just on a lark for that matter.So if you have a close girlfriend who’s open minded you could consider buying her a copyof this ebook for her birthday, or your birthday, or a full moon or whatever, and ask her forhelp. You might be surprised at your friend’s willingness to play doctor with you.5 Tantric S’sHave you noticed that we’ve been reminding you about including the appropriatebits of Tantric ritual whenever you enter practice sessions? We hope so. And we hopeyou’ve been heeding these reminders. Tantric Sex is more than physical technique. It’sabout intimate communion and spiritual connection.But we don’t want to nag and make practice instructions longer than they need to be.So here’s our proposal. In one place below we’ve included all the preparations we’vesuggested to create a Sacred Space and make yourselves ready. Fortunately, each stepstarts with an “S” so we call them the 5 Tantric S’s.Print this page out for handy reference. This will help you remember to do them anytime you enter into Tantric LovePlay of any kind. From here on out, we’ll simply start allAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 113our instructions with the 5 Tantric S’s that are…Supplies, Showering, Setting, Settling, &Stretching.1. SUPPLIESBefore you begin, be sure to collect…• pillows,• props,• water-based lubricant,• massage oil,• sex toys,• condoms & other latex barriers,• tissues,• handiwipes,• towels or absorbent pads under Shakti,• drinking water,• finger-food snacks,• music & remote control, and• anything else you think you might need.A Crystal Wand is a valuable addition that allows the giver to reach deeperwithin yoni and apply the right pressure to the Sacred Gate. Luv Liners andLuv Linens which keep your sheets clean and dry provide the kind of peace ofmind that aids in relaxation. For information and easy access to these and othervaluable supplies, click here….Keep a copy of these directions nearby to refresh your memory if needed.2. SHOWERING• Take a long languorous bath or shower to relax you, freshen your skin, andcleanse your body and energy.• Clean and trim your nails. If your hands (giver) are rough, plan to wear latexgloves for any kind of penetration.• Empty your bladders and bowels.• Beautify yourselves, dress seductively, and adorn yourselves with loosesensuous clothing and jewelry, even if you’re alone.3. SETTING• Schedule ample time without a tight schedule.• Insure privacy and quiet, free from possible distractions and interruptions.Turn off the phones, and lock the door.• Make sure the room is well heated.• Beautify your room by decorating with art, wall-hangings, sarongs, flowers,incense, soft lighting, candles, power objects, altar, etc.• Put on some soft, sensuous, or erotic music as you prefer.• Arrange your bodies to be comfortable, visible, and open to loveplay. Shaktishould resist on one or more towels or pads, especially if she’s concerned aboutejaculating.• Create a Sacred Space as you practiced earlier.4. STRETCHINGAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 114• Do a little stretching or any yoga postures you know that create flexibility andpromote the flow of energy.• A nice way to connect intimately with a partner at this point is to stretch out ina spooning position with the receiver on the inside. Then breathe togetherseveral times into each of the chakras.5. SETTLING• Use whatever spiritual practice best calms and centers you for a few moments.• Sit quietly, meditate, gaze into each other’s or your own eyes in the mirror,share affirmations of love and affection, recall times and places of pure joy, oranything else that makes you feel good.• Ritually undress each other, whispering endearments and compliments as eachpart of the body is revealed.PRACTICE: Solo Sacred Gate StrokesDescriptionInstead of approaching self-exploration in a clinical detached way, we recommendyou enter into the ritual space of honoring yourself, your body, and your spirit in asensual way. You’re about to discover divine secrets hidden for too long.You’ve already searched for your G-Spot area. If not, do the Solo Sacred GateDiscovery Practice first from Section 5.6 or incorporate it into the following steps. If youcan’t make any position work this way, skip to the sex toys practice that follows.You do realize that your only aim here is to feel pleasure, right? Orgasm isn’t the goal.Total healing in one session is not the point. Expecting mind-blowing fireworks everytime is not your purpose. Remember, if you feel any physical strain, emotional tension,or strong resistance, only go as far as is comfortable, take a break, and relax.PurposeTo experiment with the four basic Sacred Gate massage strokes to discover what youprefer.1. PREPARE WITH 5 TANTRIC S’sSupplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, & Settling.Arrange yourself in front of a mirror for this solo practice if you can.2. STIMULATINGCaress your own or your partner’s whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if shewants. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As Shakti heats up,concentrate more on her breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Don’t forgetto ask permission before touching yoni and clio. Be sure to use your communicationskills to stay in touch and flow together. Continue stimulation until Shakti is highlyaroused and wet.3. IN & OUT & HOLDUsing one finger, begin the in-&-out stroke slowly and gently, gradually goingdeeper. Each time you penetrate a little further, stop and hold until you’re ready tocontinue. If you pay careful attention, you’ll know to move on when you sense you’verelaxed, become more present and sensitive, or feel more strongly. As your Sacred Gateswells, explore its center, sides, gutters, and tail. Experiment with two or more fingers tosee what you prefer.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 1154. CIRCLINGAfter you’ve reached as deeply inside your yoni as you can with in-&-out strokes andholding, begin circling. Try windshield wipers first, then circles near the opening, thenmore and more deeply. Experiment with small and larger circles until you can tellwhat’s best for you.5. COME-HITHERNow practice the come-hither stroke. Try different finger bends, depths, and angles.Try shallow, deep, short, and long strokes. Use one, two, or more fingers. See what youprefer.6. ENJOYIf you’re getting turned on and still comfortable, continue and enjoy yourself withoutagenda. We urge you not to press harder and speed up yet. Simply appreciate the longslow sensual excitement you’re creating. But if you want to go for it after enough subtlestimulation, wonderful. Celebrate any new highs, peaks, and orgasms you give yourself.7. CLOSINGWhen you decide to end your session, slowly relax and slow your movements down.We really like the energy connection of one hand on yoni, one hand on your heart at thispoint. Simply feel your body, mind, emotions, and spirit. Reflect what was best, whatyou discovered, what you want more of, what less of. Close your Sacred Space with abow, hug, or silent or even verbal acknowledgment to yourself.AfterthoughtsYou may want to repeat this practice again or many times. One of the beautifuladvantages of Tantric practice is how repeated pleasure heals and reveals newsensations. If you find you can only feel pleasure so far in your first self-ritual, honorwhere you’re at. Come back repeatedly to self-pleasuring and you may well discoveryour inhibitions and negative energies dissipating all by themselves.Adding Sex Toys To Your RepertoireUsing sex toys is an option that helps many women learn more easily about their SacredGate. Yes, dildos and the like. Again, we’re not trying to make your sex life totally kinky, but ifit heads that way, enjoy! It’s just that using a simulated vajra, a specially curved wand, or avibrator may accelerate the awakening of this most powerful orgasmic trigger.If you don’t own an appropriate sex toy, you might be worrying about how to acquire onewith minimal embarrassment. Here are some ideas…• Maybe you have a friend who’s sexually open who could advise you what to buy andwhere.• If you’re really close with a sexually free friend, she might loan you some of her toys.The good ones are non-absorbent so a good washing makes them safe for sharing.Some you can even boil, although we don’t recommend that. We still recommendusing a condom when sharing for extra protection against STDs and the peace ofmind that comes from being careful.• You could visit one of the new breed of women-friendly adult stores. There you cantalk openly to experienced women about your unique and private wants. Our favoriteis Good Vibrations in Northern California but we’ve heard of similar ones that caterto female needs in other major cities.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 116• Use the internet. Good Vibrations has a great website as do other well-stocked cyberstores. The good ones will have email addresses you can use and phone numbers youcan call anonymously for advice.Using Sex Toys to Find and Play with Your Sacred GateWhen you choose a dildo, you’ll want one that’s long enough to reach your G-Spot area.Some are designed with a bend to reach behind your pubic bone. Some are flexible and you canbend them into just the right come-hither angle. Some come with vibrators as well.Today you can find sex toys in all colors and materials. Be sure they’re washable and yougive them a good scrubbing with soap before and after each use. The soft ones that simulateskin feel more natural. Just be sure you don’t get one with an absorbent surface. If you do, you’llneed to use a fresh condom for each use so bacteria don’t seep deep into the material.You probably don’t want a Steve Young version. Jeffre named her thickest dildo after herfavorite San Francisco 49er quarterback. You can hardly get your hand around him. Whoops,we mean “it.” The point we’re trying to make is that you many not be able to angle and aim adildo that’s too thick to reach all the nooks and crannies you want to massage inside.Maybe the best appliance for Sacred Gate massage is the Crystal Wand. This is a strongtransparent 10-inch piece of Lucite plastic in a shallow S-shape with the ends bent open. TheCrystal Wand has been specifically designed to easily reach and stimulate your own oranother’s G-Spot. If you don’t have your own yet, click here fordetails….Vibrator LoreThere are some things to consider about vibrators. They come in all shapes, sizes, andstrengths. That begins with erect vajras, wands, and eggs. You can choose from a wide varietyof small battery-powered ones to those with a small wire to a battery pack. We prefer the kindthat has a handle or flared bottom so you’re in no danger of losing them inside.By the way, we don’t recommend the big industrial-strength appliances with cords that pluginto the wall. They produce more stimulation than you need. Those that are too strong for yourparticular appetite may just give too much intense sensation or numb you out just when youwant to feel more. Best if you can find variable speed battery-operated ones to adjust to yourpersonal level of sensitivity and changing desire as you get more turned on.The choice of shape and design are totally dependent on personal preference. You mayprefer a little one on clio like Jeffre does sometimes. You may want some vibration around yoururethral opening, or definitely not. Pulsing on your G-Spot may be super hot for you, or donothing.While vibrators for internal or external sexual stimulation can help you connect with thepower of your Sacred Gate, our primary concern is that you don’t get dependent on mechanicalstimulation. Sure, it’s great sometimes to relax and let electrical energy do the work. But theultimate pleasures result from you learning comfortably and easily to create the kind of celestialpleasure that only comes from inner Kundalini energy.PRACTICE: Sex Toy Strokes Self-PleasuringPurposeTo repeat the Solo Sacred Gate Strokes Practice using and experimenting with sextoys.DescriptionAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 117If you had trouble experimenting with the four basic strokes with your fingers, westrongly urge you to try them with a sex toy. Even if you succeeded manually, why notgo for it? Get yourself a couple of sex toys to play with, and see what new things youcan discover.Remember, your purpose here is whatever pleasure you can experience in themoment. If you feel any physical strain, emotional tension, or strong resistance, only goas far as is comfortable, take a break, and relax.1. PREPARE WITH 5 TANTRIC S’sSupplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, & Settling.Arrange yourself in front of a mirror for this practice if you can.A Crystal Wand is a valuable addition that allows the giver to reach deeper withinyoni and apply pressure to the Sacred Gate.2. STIMULATINGCaress your own or your partner’s whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if shewants. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As Shakti heats up,concentrate more on her breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Don’t forgetto ask permission before touching yoni and clio. Be sure to use your communicationskills to stay in touch and flow together. Continue stimulation until Shakti is highlyaroused and wet.3. IN & OUT & HOLDUsing your chosen sex toy without vibration, begin using the in-&-out stroke slowlyand gently, gradually going deeper. Every time you penetrate a little further, simplystop and hold, resting your hand on the new tissue with just a little pressure before youbegin moving again. It’s like a gentle introduction so there’s no shock, no surprise, noassault. If you pay careful attention, you’ll know to move on when you sense you’verelaxed, become more present and sensitive, or feel more strongly. Don’t hesitate to addmore lubricant any time you feel any dryness or pulling. If you have several dildos anda Crystal Wand, experiment with them, varying speed and depth, to see what youprefer.4. CIRCLINGAfter you’ve reached as deeply inside your yoni as you can with in-&-out strokes andholding, begin circling. Try both clockwise and counter-clockwise, first near theopening, then more and more deeply. Experiment with small, larger circles, and thewindshield wiper stroke until you can tell what’s best for you.5. COME-HITHERIf your equipment allows, now practice with the come-hither stroke. This is where theCrystal Wand’s curved shape excels because it gives you leverage to reach aroundbehind your pubic bone and drag all the way out. Try different entries, depths, andangles. Try shallow, deep, short, and long strokes. If you have a bendable dildo,experiment with various bends. See what you prefer.6. ENJOYIf you’re getting turned on and still comfortable, continue and enjoy yourself withoutagenda. We urge you not to press harder, speed up, or include vibration just yet. Simplyappreciate the long slow sensual excitement you’re creating. But if you want to go for itAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 118after enough subtle stimulation, wonderful. Celebrate any new highs, peaks, andorgasms you give yourself.7. CLOSINGWhen you decide to end your session, slowly relax and slow your movements down.We really like the energy connection of one hand on yoni, one hand on your heart at thispoint. Simply feel your body, mind, emotions, and spirit. Reflect what was best, whatyou discovered, what you want more of, what less of. Close with a bow, hug, or silent oreven verbal acknowledgment to yourself.AfterthoughtsWe’ll repeat what we pointed out before because it’s so vital. You may want to repeatthis practice several times. One of the beautiful advantages of Tantric practice is howrepeated pleasure heals. If you find you can only feel pleasure so far in your first selfritual,honor where you’re at. Come back repeatedly to self-pleasuring and you’ll maywell discover your inhibitions and negative energies are dissipating all by themselves.Partner Sacred Gate MassageNow is the time for a partner to practice the four basic Sacred Gate massage strokes. If thereceiver relaxes and opens her senses as much as possible, great learning will probably occur forboth of you. To help you achieve this we offer some reminders for both of you…Giver RemindersGivers, do whatever you can to make your partner feel safe. Build intimacy and trustthrough a laid-back supportive attitude, going slowly, and maintaining lots of eye contact.Givers, be aware that women will know how good something feels but they probably won’tknow what strokes you’re doing inside their yoni. Explain what you’re about to do and whatyou’re doing in each moment. Then you’ll help your Shakti learn about her own turn-ons. Ifyou’re not sure how something feels, ask yes or no questions. Adjust based on her guidance.Tantra is all about raising consciousness. Here’s your chance to assist that personal process.Pay special attention to the cleanliness of your hands at all times. Trim your fingernailsshort and make sure they’re smooth. If your hands are rough and callused, use absorbent handcream or even latex gloves. Be sure to get the ones without talcum powder so that yoni staysfree of irritants. You can also get latex finger cots, like the fingers of a glove, to cover sores orcalluses.Especially with latex, remember to use copious amounts of natural or bottle-born lubricant.And you won’t forget to ask permission before inserting anything in yoni, right? Alertingher when you intend to change strokes is a part of this.Reminders For the Woman ReceivingStay alert, open your senses, and communicate. Let your partner know what you’re feeling,good, bad, or indifferent, and what you want. If you’re not sure, experiment. You can’t get itwrong.You’ll see lots of references to deciding what you like best. But it’s fine if you likeeverything. As you practice more and more, you’ll become more aware of what’s happeninginside, what feels which way, and what occurs to you would feel good in the moment.If you’re not sure about something, say so and, if you’re willing, agree to experiment. Usethe Feedback Sandwich (“I like what’s happening now, let’s try this, ooooh that’s great!”) if youwant something changed. Be sure to use much more positive feedback and expressions of turnonthan corrections. You don’t want your giver to get discouraged, right?Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 119Reminders For BothWe urge you to both read the preamble and step-by-step directions before you start anypractice in this ebook. It’s a great idea to go over the steps together too.Remember, there’s no other goal than pleasure. Your purpose here is to create good feelingsas you experience the moment. If either of you experience any physical strain, adjust yourposition until you’re comfortable. Cramped muscles for either giver or receiver can block theenergy flow you’re trying to create.If the receiver runs into any emotional tension or strong resistance, only go as far as you canwithout having to push. Instead, take a break, and relax. Discomfort may signal the need formore repeated Yoni Healing practices. Or it just may be that you, the receiver, prefers babysteps while awakening new territory.PRACTICE: Partner Sacred Gate StrokesPurposeTo share what you learned about using basic Sacred Gate massage strokes with yourpartner so they can learn to give you want you like.DescriptionIf two women do this practice together, you’ll have the chance to learn as both giverand receiver.After your first practice, take a short break, talk about what you experienced, andstart afresh. Don’t expect the same things to happen after you switch roles.1. PREPARE WITH 5 TANTRIC S’sSupplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, & Settling.Open your Sacred Space with a Heart Salutation.For us long-term Tantric lovers, discussing the Partnering Questions are always agiven before beginning any practice, whether you’ve done it before or not. Alwaysdiscuss desires, concerns, and boundaries in the moment before beginning.Continue stimulation until she’s wet and highly aroused. Remember, withoutsufficient turn-on, her Sacred Gate may remain quiet and submerged. If it’s notengorged enough, the giver may not be able to feel it.2. STIMULATINGCaress your own or your partner’s whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if shewants. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As Shakti heats up,concentrate more on her breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Don’t forgetto ask permission before touching yoni and clio. Be sure to use your communicationskills to stay in touch and flow together. Continue stimulation until Shakti is highlyaroused and wet.3. BEGIN IN-&-OUT & HOLDINGAfter asking permission to enter yoni, dear giver, use one finger to begin the in-&-outstroke slowly and gently, gradually going deeper. Each time you penetrate a littlefurther, stop and hold until she’s ready for you to continue. This is a great method ofenergetically connecting with the often untouched recesses of her Goddess cave. Checkin verbally as often as needed to stay in sync. If you pay careful attention, even withoutwords you’ll know when to move on by sensing her relaxation, heightened sensitivity,or increased arousal. After asking, experiment with two or more fingers to see what sheAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 120likes the best. And remember to add more of her chosen lubricant when there’s any hintof friction or dryness or if she requests it.4. CIRCLINGAfter you’ve reached as deeply inside yoni as you can with in-&-out strokes andholding, begin circling. Try both clockwise and counter-clockwise, first near theopening, then more and more deeply. Experiment with small, larger circles, and thewindshield wiper stroke until you can tell what she prefers, if anything. Verbalize to herwhat you are doing. She’ll want to know.5. COME-HITHERNow practice with the come-hither stroke. Try different finger bends, depths, andangles. Try shallow, deep, short, and long strokes. Use one, two, or more fingers. Askher to tell you which area or stroke is most intense. Again, always let her know whatyou are doing.6. ENJOYIf she’s getting turned on and is still comfortable, continue pleasuring her withoutagenda. Gauge giving more or less stimulation based on her moving towards or awayfrom you. We urge you not to press harder and speed up yet. Simply appreciate the longslow sensual excitement you’re creating. But if you want to go for it after enough subtlestimulation, wonderful. Celebrate any new highs, peaks, and orgasms you createtogether.7. COOL DOWNWhen she decides to end your session, slow your movements down gradually.Connect her inner flute with one hand on yoni, one hand on her heart. Just let her feelher body, mind, emotions, and spirit.8. CLOSINGTalk about what was best, what was discovered, what she wants more of, what less.Close your Sacred Space, and then end with a Heart Salutation, bow, hug, kiss, or verbalacknowledgment.6.7 Variations On The Theme SectionMake Love Like An Artist, Not An AccountantThe four strokes — in-&-out, holding, circling, and come-hither — are the basis for everythingwe know that yonis like. Except of course for vajra stroking which we’ll get to later. With thenearly endless variations on these basic themes, it can seem a bit overwhelming to lovers new tothe joys of Sacred Gate play.Think of it this way. You’re a painter who wants to capture the feminine form on canvas.The variables you can employ for your creation are style, lighting, size, proportion, and color,just to name a few. But you know the basic tools of your craft, the primary colors, the way lightplays on the hip and breast, the artistic modes to choose from. With so many potentialcombinations in your mind, you can never decide analytically. So you choose to go with theflow and let the creative process sweep you along intuitively.In much the same way, now both giver and receiver are going to focus on the differentvariations you can use with the basic strokes:1. pressure,2. speed,Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 1213. pattern.Although she may have specific requests, let the Goddess’s turn-on be your guide. That’spartly why it’s so vital for the receiver to employ the four cornerstones of Supreme Bliss –breath, sound, movement, and presence. Then the receiver has ample cues to gauge theresponse to what’s being done in each moment.Increasing Pressure & Speed DescriptionRemember from the Sacred Landscape Chapter that yoni’s deeper insides respond more topressure than friction? That’s why now we’ll start with increasing pressure with the four basicstrokes. Slowly try a little more pressure with each stroke. Let the receiver guide how muchpressure she enjoys at each level of arousal.What’s painful when she’s just warming up can often feel quite light when she’s raring to gofor it.Many women find extremely strong pressure highly pleasurable when they’re super turnedon.Just think of how much force a big man with a strongly thrusting vajra exerts. Some womenhave been known to get off on that kind of thing, haven’t they?Next, we’ll play with increasing the speed of your basic strokes. As with pressure, ramp upgradually. Though there’s a place for sudden shocks and surprises during lovemaking, whichwe’ll get to soon, you need to get to a consensual place together first. So speed up slowly,gauging your partner’s reaction.The fantasy of romantic novels suggests that good sex is losing control and being sweptaway. When first coupling, when long separated, when really needing a blow out — sure, thereare times to go fast. But exploding all your sexual energy at once works against the Tantricavenue to higher states of ecstasy. Generating, conserving, recycling, exchanging energy, that’sthe prescription for long life-altering sacred lovemaking.Teasing, Tantalizing, Or Going For ItInstead of always pushing to give our partner maximum excitement in every moment, weuse lots of variety to expand and extend our energy. We rise to peak after higher peak, stoppingwith each rise to deeply feel the vibrations coursing through our bodies.It’s not so much teasing as it is savoring. Like sipping a fine wine versus gulping Gatoradeafter an intense workout. When we want to go for it, our primary groundrule for lovemaking isto find something that’s highly arousing and don’t change a thing — not stroke, not pressure, notspeed. So an essential Tantric lover skill is to keep doing what you’re doing when you getstrong positive feedback.As a giver, you want to please. So it’s only natural that you want to go faster and harderwhen you see and hear how great what you’re doing is making her feel. But then you’vechanged what was working. We think too many women have trouble orgasming because theirwell meaning partners push for it just when they find the trigger. Instead of coming, theirpartner numbs out. By going too fast and hard for what a woman wants at that moment, shemay get numb, sore, or turned-off.So givers, your basic guideline during the coming practices is: notice what your partner isloving and keep doing it the same way until she asks for a change. You can always ask her ifshe wants a change.PRACTICE: Increasing Pressure & SpeedPurposeAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 122Here’s your opportunity to play with increasing the pressure and speed of the fourbasic strokes.DescriptionThis practice assumes you will do these steps with a partner. If you don’t have onehandy or prefer experimenting solo, by all means try this out yourself first.We’ll also expect that you know to add more of your chosen lubricant when there’sany hint of friction or dryness without further reminders from us. If at any time whileyou’re increasing speed and pressure, she experiences burning, painful, or numb areas,make a mental note and back off.Our aim here is pleasure from Sacred Gate massage. But this may mean you need oneor more sessions of sexual healing as described in the Yoni Healing Chapter before youcan complete this practice with complete satisfaction.1. PREPARE WITH 5 TANTRIC S’sSupplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, & Settling.Open your Sacred Space with a Heart Salutation.Discuss the Partnering Questions — desires, concerns, boundaries — in the momentbefore beginning.Continue stimulation until she’s wet and highly aroused.2. STIMULATINGCaress your own or your partner’s whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if shewants. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As Shakti heats up,concentrate more on her breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Don’t forgetto ask permission before touching yoni and clio. Be sure to use your communicationskills to stay in touch and flow together. Continue stimulation until Shakti is highlyaroused and wet.3. USE ALL 4 BASIC STROKESBegin as you did in the previous practice with the four basic strokes. After askingpermission to enter yoni, use the one finger in-&-out stroke slowly and gently, graduallygoing deeper. Each time you penetrate a little further, stop and hold until she’s ready foryou to continue. Warn her as you transition to circling her Sacred Gate first and thenusing come-hither at the same slow speed and gentle pressure.4. INCREASE PRESSUREWhen you feel her Sacred Gate swell more, cycle through the four basic strokes againbut this time with a little more upward pressure. Explain before you change strokes eachtime, and be sure to check in verbally as often as needed so you stay in sync. You canexperiment with two or more fingers to see what she likes best with harder pressure.5. INCREASE SPEEDReturn to a gentler pressure with one finger and cycle through the four basic strokesagain but this time a little faster. Explain before you change strokes each time, and besure to check in verbally as often as needed so you stay in sync. You can experimentwith two or more fingers to see what she likes best with a faster cadence.6. INCREASE BOTH PRESSURE & SPEEDNow that you’ve played with all the basics, use your creativity to experiment usingincreased pressure and speed with the basic strokes. With warning, try differentAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 123combinations using one, two, or more fingers. Watch carefully to see what she likes andwhat she doesn’t. Keep your communication channel open and flowing completely.Though a lot of talking may distract from her pleasure, remember that you’re stillexploring. Soon you’ll have the tools to be synchronized and go for maximum turn-on.7. COOL DOWNWhen she decides to end your session, slow your movements down gradually.Connect her inner flute with one hand on yoni, one hand on her heart. Just let her feelher body, mind, emotions, and spirit.8. FEEDBACKDiscuss how the practice went for both of you. What did you both learn? Whatworked best? What did you learn to look out for? Did you find any sensitive areas thatneed healing before she can be thoroughly open? What does she really really want moreof? What suggestions does the Goddess have for the giver?9. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space, and then end with a Heart Salutation, bow, hug, kiss, orverbal acknowledgment.Additional VariablesBesides adjusting pressure and speed, there are many more ways to vary the basic G-Spotmassage strokes. Variables in Sacred Gate massage include different ways to start, change, andend the pattern of stroking you’re using. We call them stopping, vibrating, tapping, milking,and withdrawing.StoppingStopping simply means to cease whatever motion you’re doing and hold. It’s s not pullingout, it’s simply halting your motions and holding steady in one place.For example, you’re sliding in-&-out with a fair pace and pressure when she suddenly startsshaking all over. Don’t be alarmed, she’s just having an energy orgasm. If you stop once she’sabsorbed in her peak, she’ll simply focus on her inner sensations. You don’t want to distract herfrom running the energy all over her body so she can learn to full-body orgasm.Stopping is helpful if you sense you’ve sped up too quickly, see her grimacing from strongpressure, or feel her numbing out from too much, too fast. It helps her ground, absorb, andspread the energy that she’s created, increasing her capacity to feel pleasure.VibratingVibrating is moving your hand or fingers a very short distance extremely fast while stayingconnected with one wall of yoni. It’s an exciting stimulus for any erogenous zone because itsimulates the quivering in the nervous system that occurs during and after orgasm.You can vibrate up and down by putting and interrupting pressure on the G-Spot. You canvibrate side to side over the rough tissue. You can vibrate just one finger slightly, or move yourwhole hand and arm to vibrate the entire yoni. And you can use two or more fingers to spreadthe shaking sensation more widely. There are lots of variations of speed and pressure you canuse for vibrating. Try them all and see what lights her fuse at different times.After some intense excitement, stopping, holding, and gently vibrating the Sacred Gate is agreat change of pace.TappingAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 124Tapping means lifting up off the Sacred Gate and rapidly coming back down on the tissueagain with some force. Tapping is most often done with fingertips but can also be done with theflat of the fingers. Though there’s a whole spectrum of speeds and pressures for tapping, doingit intensely is remarkable.MilkingYou can “milk” engorged tissue with rhythmic deep pressure. Hold your fingers in a comehitherposition curled around the Sacred Gate behind the pubic bone. Squeeze upwards tightlyas if you’re trying to make a fist with your fingers. Then release and relax. This is even moreintense when your palm is curled up over her clio and mons. As with other strokes, vary speedand pressure for different sensations.WithdrawingThe final version of interrupting your strokes is withdrawing your fingers suddenly. Thecontrast of intense stroking followed by emptiness is very exciting for some women. Don’tcompletely disconnect when you withdraw. Keeping one hand covering yoni is a comfortingway to stay plugged in energetically.Pulling out at the onset of orgasm often precipitates female ejaculation. We believe this isbecause withdrawal relieves the pressure from the channel where the fluid erupts, while at thesame time simulating the push-out of the vaginal muscles that accompany gushing.PRACTICE: Practice Varying Your StrokesPurposeTo give you a chance to experiment with all the possible variations of the four basicSacred Gate massage strokes.DescriptionDo we have to keep reminding you to ask permission, alert her to changes, and checkin if you’re not sure how you’re doing? We hope not. We’ll trust you on this one fromnow on. Since she’s reading these directions along with you before you start, whatyou’re planning to do won’t be a surprise.But to add in the element of surprise, explain to her that there’s two actions that workmuch better without warning: stopping and withdrawing. If it’s OK with her before youstart to throw these in unexpectedly, you’ve got all the permission you need.1. PREPARE WITH 5 TANTRIC S’sSupplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, & Settling.Open your Sacred Space with a Heart Salutation.Discuss the Partnering Questions — desires, concerns, boundaries.Continue stimulation until she’s wet and highly aroused.2. STIMULATINGCaress your own or your partner’s whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if shewants. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As Shakti heats up,concentrate more on her breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Don’t forgetto ask permission before touching yoni and clio. Be sure to use your communicationskills to stay in touch and flow together. Continue stimulation until Shakti is highlyaroused and wet.3. VARY THE 4 BASIC STROKESAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 125Begin as you did in the previous practice with the four basic strokes. Use in-&-out,holding, circling, and come-hither with one or more fingers at different speeds andpressures. Include everything you’ve practiced so far according to your developingjudgment and your partner’s responses.4. PRACTICE STOPPINGWhen you sense she needs to take a breath or bask in a peak of sensation, stop allmotion without warning her. With her OK, after a brief pause resume what you weredoing before the hiatus.5. PRACTICE VIBRATINGExperiment vibrating one finger, two fingers, and your whole hand with differentfrequencies and momentum.6. PRACTICE TAPPINGTry tapping in different places with one fingertip gently at first. Add more pressureand more surfaces while getting feedback about what turns her on and off.7. PRACTICE MILKINGAt a point of peak excitement, grab her Sacred Gate and milk it. Watch for herreaction and respond to her guidance about how fast, hard, and deep it feels good. Ifshe’s really excited when you hit the perfect combination, don’t be surprised if herwaters flow.8. PRACTICE WITHDRAWINGIf you sense internal contractions or an impending wave of energy, draw your handout suddenly. After experimenting in response to different signals you should get anidea about what pattern works best for her, if any.9. FEEDBACKDuring your standard cool down steps, discuss how the practice went for both of you.So what did you both learn? What worked best? What did you learn to look out for? Didyou find any sensitive areas that need healing before she can be thoroughly open? Whatdoes she really really want more of?10. CLOSINGClose your Sacred Space, and then end with a Heart Salutation, bow, hug, kiss, orverbal acknowledgment.Ramping Up ScenarioUp to now you’ve both been learning the notes, scales, and chords of this new form ofmusic. We certainly hope you resonate with it as much as we do. Now that your apprenticeshipis over, it’s time to create beautiful music together with this new instrument you’ve mastered,the female G-Spot.Whereas before your primary intent was to learn the strokes and variations, now you’regoing to use them for maximum pleasure. Remember, in Tantra, orgasm isn’t our goal. If you’vehad one or more already, wonderful. If not, don’t sweat it.Seek to use your newfound skill and awareness to create as much pleasure as you can for aslong as you can. During this new stage of Sacred Gate play, you may or may not come in theclassic sense. Orgasm still isn’t your goal. Pleasure and ecstasy is. But if orgasm sweeps youaway on this climb of its own accord, enjoy it. Just keep going. If you find yourself comingmultiple times, so much the better.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 126Just keep your consciousness focused on the whole rainbow, not any specific pot of gold. Byusing Sacred Gate massage to generate vast amounts of orgasmic energy, you’ll discover newstates. And undoubtedly experience profound healing along the way.Climbing The Orgasmic LadderMany women move up the orgasmic ladder in stages. They build some excitement, and thenrelax and enjoy it before going higher. Givers, you can tell when your partner wants to level off.Her motions, moans, and breath will slow down. She may even pull away from your finger.If you sense this leveling, lighten your pressure and slow your strokes. Wait until shedemonstrates that she wants more by heating up again or asking for it. This climbing/levelingpattern may repeat multiple times. Just stay alert, hang on, and enjoy the ride.Should you as a giver intentionally tease your partner? Well, it might look that way to theoutside observer. But what’s really going on is helping your lover create and flow Kundalinienergy without an agenda. For example, as strong inner convulsions begin to sweep throughher, you recognize this and don’t change a thing until she needs to relax into the powerful forcesinside her.To assist her ramping up higher and higher, we suggest the giver takes on the role of ecstasycoach, reminding her as needed about breathing slowly, relaxing while aroused, movingerotically, and staying focused. Strong attention to the four cornerstones of Supreme Bliss –breath, sound, movement, and presence — will help her peak, plateau, and hover on the vergeso she’ll reach higher and higher levels of ecstasy.By the way, givers, we suggest you also use the four cornerstones yourself. Not only will itturn your partner on if you breathe and sound with her, but you’ll find you have much greatersensitivity to her energy. It’s a wonderful win-win if you feel the powerful orgasmic forcesyou’re helping create in your partner simultaneously surge through your body.Chill Out, It Takes Time To Shift Lifelong PatternsThe final Sacred Gate massage practices employ all the strokes and variations you’vepracticed so far. Your intent is to repeat them over and over and ultimately make them anintegral part of your lovemaking. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. The more you talkwith your lover about things and learn from each encounter, the more pleasure you’ll have. Themore open and flexible you are, the more sexual power and healing you’ll experience.As your Sacred Gate play becomes more freeform, it becomes increasingly vital to use thePartnering Questions before each encounter. Use what you learn during each session as aspringboard for exploring new dimensions next time. Thorough feedback after cooling downeach time is essential.Then before the next encounter, you can discuss new and continuing desires, concerns fromthe previous sessions, and any boundaries you want to set, at least for the start. Remember,establishing desires works best when you reach for general intentions like “I want to be able torelax more and absorb more sensation,” not setting specific goals like “I want to have the biggestorgasm ever within 15 minutes.” Otherwise you get hung up focusing on expectations for thefuture instead of fully experiencing the moment.You’re attempting to shift lifelong sexual momentum so don’t push for instant gratification.Celebrate progress with each little baby step.Also, explorers sometimes find themselves taking wrong turns, heading up blind canyons,and having to backtrack. Here’s a good place to take the new age maxim to heart: enjoy everystep of the journey. The destination is always a varied landscape.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 127If the woman becomes uncomfortable, sore, or distracted, accept it. Ease off what you’redoing, decreasing speed, pressure, or intensity of your stimulation. If needed, switch to otherforms of loveplay such as sensual massage, oral play with clio, or maithuna. Come back to theSacred Gate later when she’s interested.Two Versions Of The PracticeTwo versions of the Maximum Pleasure practice follow. One is designed to help the giverdevelop heightened sensitivity to their partner’s subtle energies and non-verbal signals. We callit the intuition guided practice.It’s a major challenge for many lovers, men as well as women, to find out what they like.They simply don’t know what turns them on, how to go about discovering it, or how to describeit once they figure it out. To ask for maximum pleasure in the moment can really stretch eventhose of us who think we know ourselves well.So during the second version, the receiver leads. The aim here is for her to guide theproceedings towards what turns her on when. This is a fantastic growth step for women whoare used to being passive and subservient. If they exercise the power to lead the entire sexualencounter, they embrace a whole new energy stance and mindset.This receiver-leading version is a chance to truly live the Tantric maxim that we are eachtotally responsible for our own pleasure. If the giver hasn’t yet developed a great love offollowing and being in service to the Goddess, this version is a wonderful opportunity to learnultimate surrender.Which version should you start with and concentrate on? Though we’ve listed the intuitionone first, we really can’t say. If you’re not sure where to start, begin by alternating and decidewhich is better for you at this point. Each time, be sure you’re especially explicit about whichversion of the practice you’re doing.You’re not just learning techniques you are changing your sexual experience with everybreath, every time.PRACTICE: Following Intuition To Maximum PleasurePurposeTo reach maximum pleasure through Sacred Gate massage while the giver developsand follows their own intuition.1. PREPARE WITH 5 TANTRIC S’sSupplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, & Settling.Open your Sacred Space with a Heart Salutation.Discuss the Partnering Questions — desires, concerns, boundaries. Be especially clearabout what direction you want this experience to move in. Check out what changes thereceiver wants you to ask permission before doing.2. STIMULATINGCaress your own or your partner’s whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if shewants. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As Shakti heats up,concentrate more on her breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Don’t forgetto ask permission before touching yoni and clio. Be sure to use your communicationskills to stay in touch and flow together. Continue stimulation until Shakti is highlyaroused and wet.3. USE THE 4 BASIC STROKES & VARIATIONSAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 128Giver, according to the likes and dislikes of the receiver, employ in-&-out, holding,circling, and come-hither along with a variety of pressures, speeds, and fingers.4. RISE TO HIGHER LEVELS OF PLEASUREAs your partner heats up and her Sacred Gate swells, giver, use the completespectrum of moves you’ve learned to guide her to higher and higher plateaus ofpleasure using pressure, speed, and interruptions.5. LISTEN TO YOUR OWN INTUITIONGiver, reach out with your senses to finely hone your intuition. Listen to your owninner signals about what she’s feeling, what she wants, and what would feel best now.At first, check them out with her. As the messages inside become clearer, you can beginto flow spontaneously without much thought.6. RESPOND TO HER SIGNALSGiver, stay carefully tuned in to her breathe, sounds, and movement. Breathe, move,and make sounds in rhythm with her to feel her energy in your body. If she forgets anyof the four cornerstones, gently remind her by saying things like “Breathe, breathe” or”Relax and dance with me.” If she asks for something, certainly comply.7. DON’T CHANGE WHAT’S WORKINGOnce she’s reached a high level of arousal, giver, pay careful attention to not changingwhat’s working. If she wants something different, she’ll ask or calm down. If that doesn’thappen, when she’s responding strongly to a stroke, move, or pattern, keep it going.Avoid the natural tendency to speed up with more pressure to make her come. More isnot always better.8. IF SHE ORGASMSIf she comes of her own accord, enjoy it. As she begins to calm down, hold still. She’llbe extremely sensitive for a few moments afterward. If she wants to continue, mirror hermovement when she starts moving. Or you can ask “would you like more?” and proceedaccordingly.9. CLOSINGAlong with the sweet routine of maintaining physical contact, curling up together,and breathing in unison until your metabolisms return to normal, be sure to fullydiscuss both of your experiences. Make sure you decide what you want to do more of,less of, and practice next time.Close your Sacred Space, and then end with a Heart Salutation, bow, hug, kiss, orverbal acknowledgment.PRACTICE: Receiver Leads To Maximum PleasureDescriptionThese directions are very similar to the previous practice with one major adjustment.Givers, don’t do anything at all unless you’re asked. If she asks for something,immediately comply. If you’re uncertain, ask yes/no questions to decide what to do ifanything.Contrary to earlier practice, these directions are written to the receiver.PurposeAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 129To guide your lover to help you reach maximum pleasure through Sacred Gatemassage.1. PREPARE WITH 5 TANTRIC S’sSupplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, Settling, & Stimulating.Open your Sacred Space with a Heart Salutation.Discuss the Partnering Questions — desires, concerns, boundaries. Be especially clearabout the direction you want this experience to move in. Tell your partner not to actwithout your specific instructions.2. USE THE 4 BASIC STROKES & VARIATIONSGuide your partner to employ in-&-out, holding, circling, and come-hither along witha variety of pressures, speeds, and fingers.3. RISE TO HIGHER LEVELS OF PLEASUREUsing the entire range of moves you’ve discovered you enjoy, ask for differentstrokes, fingers, pressures, speeds, and interruptions according to what feels best in eachmoment to rise to higher and higher plateaus of pleasure.4. COMMUNICATECommunicate as much as your state of arousal allows. Use one-word sentences,sounds, and movements to guide your giver. If you get to the place where wordsdistract you, you can give your partner permission to follow your breath, sounds, andmovements. Just be sure you don’t abdicate control with a blanket “do whatever youwant.” Instead, give a focus or direction to your partner with statements like “Follow medeeper and deeper” or “Speed up as I speed up.”5. BE RESPONSIVE & GIVE AMPLE SIGNALSUse the four cornerstones of breath, sound, movement, and mental focus tocontinuously expand your pleasure and give ample cues to your giver. If you want, askyour coach to breathe, move, and make sounds in rhythm with you to feel YOUR energyin THEIR body. Let them know if you want gentle reminders if you forget any of thefour cornerstones.6. FOLLOW YOUR OWN INTUITIONBe open to whatever happens and let it be. Listen to your own inner signals aboutwhat you’re feeling, what you want, and what would feel best now. Play, test, andexperiment with whatever occurs to you to your heart’s (and body’s) content. As themessages inside become clearer, you will begin to guide and flow spontaneouslywithout much thought.7. DON’T CHANGE WHAT’S WORKINGOnce you’ve reached a high level of arousal, pay careful attention to not changingwhat’s working. When something is really turning you on, see how much sensation youcan absorb and appreciate. Remind your partner and yourself to avoid the naturaltendency to speed up with more pressure when something produces a really strongreaction.8. IF YOU ORGASMIf you orgasm, enjoy it. Though a higher level of pleasure is your aim here, you can’tget it wrong whether you do or not. If you do orgasm, hold still at least for a momentafter you go over the top to judge if you want to continue. You’ll probably be extremelyAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 130sensitive for a few moments, but continued stimulation may be something new youwant to experience. If you do, go for it!9. CLOSINGAlong with the sweet routine of maintaining physical contact, curling up together,and breathing in unison until your metabolisms return to normal, be sure to fullydiscuss both of your experiences. Make sure you decide what you want to do more of,less of, and practice next time.Close your Sacred Space, and then end with a Heart Salutation, bow, hug, kiss, orverbal acknowledgment.6.8 Closing SectionWe learned that pleasurable Sacred Gate Massage is dependent on some prerequisites forboth the Goddess who’s receiving and the giver.The Goddess needs…• Relaxation• Communication• Arousal• Empty Bladder• Lube• Drop Expectations.The giver needs…• Privilege• Presence• Patience• Partner support• Pilgrim• PermissionYou learned about the positions for receiving Sacred Gate massage…• On back with legs spread*• Sitting underneath one of her legs• Lying beside her• Sitting by the bed• Shakti upright on her knees• Squatting*• Shakti on hands and knees*These are generally best for self-pleasuring.You learned the importance of using fingers for G-Spot play. It’s definitely the place to startas you gain confidence in both of your abilities to find the Sacred Gate and gain great pleasurefrom it.In addition you had a chance to practice the 4 strokes…• In-&-out• Holding• Circling• Come Hither.We hope you have talked extensively about the ways the Goddess prefers these strokes.And perhaps you have enjoyed the experimentation with a sex toy to aid in both self-pleasuringby the Goddess as well as exploring the Sacred Gate with a partner.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 131As you, the giver, increase your skills, you may be finding that you are feeling more of anartist with your beloved partner as the canvas. We encourage that you branch out into multiplevariations such as the speed and pressure, as well as stopping, vibrating, tapping, milking andwithdrawing.We sincerely want you to sense the never-ending variety of sacred sexuality and SacredGate play. As you integrate the attitudes of “pleasure in the moment” and “self-love as areflection of the divine,” we guarantee you’ll never have a boring moment of sex play, everagain.And finally, the first of the advanced practices tests the giver’s intuition and ability to flowwith Shakti’s energy and signals. The second focuses on the ability of Shakti to verbalize herwants and needs, explicitly and convincingly. Both of the these practices may challenge yourold way of knowing about sex. We hope so.Tantra is a journey. There is no destination. The only goal is pleasure expressed, orgasmicenergy and ecstasy. You are a c***d of the Divine. Enjoy all of who you are and all that you feel.Celebrate.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 132Chapter 7: Yoni Healing”Our sexuality is not only something that can be used for the enhancement of an intimaterelationship, for physical pleasure or for procreation. It can also be used for personaltransformation, physical and emotional healing, self-realization and spiritual growth, and as away to learn about all of life and death. That is the intention of this massage.” —– AnnieSprinkle, porn star turned sex educator7.1 Opening SectionPurposesThe purposes of this chapter are to…• Understand how Tantric healing works.• Choose parts of your sexuality that need to be cleansed and renewed.• Experience at least one yoni healing massage.• Decide how repeated yoni healing can help.Why A Chapter On Yoni Healing?Sex is natural. Sex is healthy. Your mind, body, and soul can link up to create untold sexualecstasy and Supreme Bliss.Yet, few of us live an ecstatic life. Which is partly why we so strongly advocate sacredsexuality. The practice of Tantric sex by itself serves as a gradual healing, cleansing, and freeingforce. The more you make love sacredly, the closer you can reach your innate blissful nature.As you’ve read, focusing on pleasure is the Tantric way of living. Once you accept this pathand practice routinely, your life and love will be transformed. But this can be a long slowprocess for those who carry sexual baggage everywhere they go.Yoni healing, the target of this chapter, is for those women whose sexuality is blocked. Ifyou or your partner isn’t interested, reacts negatively, doesn’t feel much, can’t orgasm easily, orruns into difficulty while reaching for Sacred Gate pleasure, this chapter is for you.Your Tantric NatureTantra believes that your essential make-up is love and that your true nature isblissful. Inside each of you is a spontaneous, joyous, playful, c***dlike spirit whowants to be free to savor everything and love everyone.Your body is the vehicle of your soul, sexual pleasure a divine gift, and ecstasyyour birthright. Nature’s way is to live with the ebb and flow of breathing in andout, imbibing and eliminating, sleeping and waking, exercising and resting.Sexuality is another one of those innate tides. And we’re not trying to makeanother in and out joke. We all naturally build up sexual energy, and it’s healthy toregularly exercise and release it. How wonderful that something that’s so good foryou is also great fun.Somewhere along the way, most of us lost that easygoing balance with sex like we havewith breathing, eating, and moving. We believe that this lack of sexual wholeness contributes tothe difficulties of enjoying Sacred Gate play, Tantric Orgasm, and female ejaculation.What Went WrongAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 133″When these three things are attained – body purified of repressions, senses freed from dullness,mind liberated from obsessive thinking – a vision arises in you free from all illusion. That is theTantra Vision.”—-OSHOHow did we lose our basic nature of playfulness and sexual ecstasy?Unfortunately, modern Western upbringing doesn’t teach us the Tantric valuesof loving ourselves and enjoying life.Instead, we’re made to feel and live unnaturally by social conditioning and moralcodes that don’t serve our inherent make-up. All the do’s and don’ts of humansociety produce inner struggles against our basic desires.Growing up in our sexually immature and repressed society, none of us can avoidaccumulating energetic sexual blocks. We’re lectured to, corrected, and made wrong for ourinstincts and proclivities.At young and vulnerable ages, we wade into the scary arena of sexuality largelyunprepared and uneducated. In other words, ignorant.We’re peppered with learning taboos, injunctions, and the multifariousdefinitions of the sins of the flesh. Often it’s religious imprinting that creates thesehuge inhibitions and enormous loads of guilt and shame.Women and men who’ve been sexually exploited, abused, and wounded may carry evenmore baggage. This negative energy is held in the Sacred Gate. For too many, carrying thisbaggage gets in the way of enjoyment, orgasm, and ejaculation.Don’t Run Or Hide, Play!• Do you want to become sexually whole?• Do you hope to experience more and more sexual pleasure?• Do you look forward to higher and higher peaks of sexual ecstasy?Then we welcome you on the path we’ve been joyously treading for some years now.• How do you shed the social conventions that bring you down and release thebrainwashing that doesn’t serve you?• How do you release the guilt that keeps you boxed in?• How do you heal old wounding and move past your resulting sexual contraction?To fully open to the joys of sacred sexuality requires clearing for all of us. It can be done. Somany of our friends, lovers, and clients confirm this, as does our personal experience.EXERCISE: Opening Discussion QuestionsHere are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about with your partner…• What do you feel is your basic nature?• Do you remember when you felt fully open and alive? How old were you?• What did you learn that helped you shut down to that c***dlike playfulness?7.2 Sexual Resistance Section”But social conditioning, sex-repressive teachings, moralizing, they have done a deep harm. Youare disjoined from your sex center. Really, our image of our real selves excludes the sex center.”—– OSHO from The Book Of The SecretsThose Awfully Common ScenariosAlong the path in pursuit of pleasure, we all run into blockages.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 134Tantra wasn’t designed as therapy for our sexual hang-ups and limitations, but gladly itoften turns out that way. When we relax, exercise our erogenous zones, and enjoy our bodies,we often run into the old baggage that blocks our excitement and our pleasure.We’ve all been through one or another of these scenarios…• You meet someone you’re really attracted to. You finally get to the big moment inbed, and either your energy isn’t there, or your new lover’s desire goes flat. Whathappened?• You’ve been thinking about sex for days and now you finally find the opportunity.But then you have an argument or some heated words, and sex and communionbecome the last things you want.• You’re a hot sexy lover and you fall for this wonderful guy or gal. You absolutelyadore oral sex, but he won’t touch your yoni (vulva) or she won’t touch your vajra(penis) with her mouth for anything. Now what do you do?• At last, you’ve fallen for your dream lover. The first six months are fabulous: juicydays, hot sex anytime, hotter long nights. Then, for no apparent reason, she’s nolonger interested in sex or his erections take a vacation.• Even sadder is when one of you marries, knowing your spouse doesn’t have much ofa sex drive. You’re hoping it’s going to change, or trying to believe it doesn’t reallymatter that much. Too often it doesn’t change, and in the long run, it does matter,doesn’t it?What do all of these situations have in common? Resistance is rearing its ugly head.What Is Resistance?Resistance is anything that gets in the way of your natural flows of life force energy.That’s why we coined the phrase “liquid mind, liquid body.” From a Tantric point of view,life force energy (orgasmic energy) simply flows if you let it. We’re sure you know what we’rereferring to. Remember a time you felt vibrant, alive, eager, and joyful about every little thing.Your life force was flowing then. We use this innate force in Tantra to feed our health andgrowth.When you’re feeling good, which is your basic nature, energy flows continuously.Sexual pleasure, orgasm especially, is a prime example. When your energetic juices areflowing, your emotions are upbeat, your body is dynamic, your mind is clear, and your spiritsoars.When it’s inhibited, you don’t. Resistance is happening, there’s a blockage.When there’s resistance, you feel turned off, repulsed, angry, irritated, frustrated, hopeless,or depressed. In fact, you can define your own resistance by the very times you feel these socallednegative feelings.Issues In The TissuesOf course, you’re aware that upsets, disappointments, and other negative emotions cancome back to haunt you. Did you know that these old emotions settle in your body? Did youknow that pains, wounds, and trauma are stored deep in your tissues? We often call this, bodymemory.You want to feel pleasure, you want to enjoy the sunset, you want to shower your belovedwith affection, but something gets in the way. Sometimes the very attempt to flow positiveenergy restimulates your old sad stories creating resistance.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 135That’s partly why we’re all so starved for touch. It’s why massage and sexual dalliance feelso good. These are natural soothing mechanisms that strive to relieve the stress and tensionburied in our bodies.In short, resistance comes from energy blocked in the body that inhibits love, joy, pleasure,sexual abandon, and even orgasm.Where Does Resistance Come From?Resistance comes from internal conflict. Psychologically, it’s caused by thoughts, beliefs, andfeelings that are in conflict with what you want. These inner inhibitions may block you frombeing sexual, giving and receiving love, or making a relationship commitment. You might justfeel uncomfortable about something, or you may experience some form of fear, anxiety, or eveninexplicable anger. Either way, it’s not a liquid mental state.Why would someone inhibit their own natural desires?• Maybe you’re feeling down about not having what you want or what you thing youshould have.• Maybe you have high standards and expect more of yourself and others.• Maybe you feel there’s something wrong with what you want.• Maybe your pushing to achieve some goal and doubt your ability to succeed.• Maybe you feel there’s something wrong with YOU, making you believe anythingyou might want is dirty, bad, or evil.When we’re working with Tantric clients who want to move into a more joyful relationship,life, and sexual experience, they often run into internal resistance. It usually stems from deeplyinternalized rules about enjoying life and sex that get the way of pleasure. Sadly, society as awhole seems ganged up against us leading ecstatic lives.Blocking The Sexual Stimulation PathwayHow does this work, or better said, not work? It’s all about the most powerful sex organ inyour body. No, not down there. Up there, your brain.When everything is functioning properly, energy is flowing. You have a desire, from love,lust, image, touch, fantasy. In response, the automatic mechanisms of your body create arousal.As you begin to experience good feelings, the autonomic nervous system carries thosemessages back to the pleasure centers of the brain creating a feedback loop. In other words,when you get turned on, you get more and more turned on without much effort. This works inarenas other than sex, as wellOf course, this assumes that your conscious mind isn’t interfering in any way and lets yourbody take over. When you welcome the desire, your energy flow creates passion.When you have some built-in resistance, your beliefs and feelings conflict with this blessedhuman process of arousal. Consciously or u*********sly you’re thinking “nice girls don’t” or “Ishouldn’t” or “it’s not right” or something similar. The vibrations of these resistant beliefs blockthe natural flow of messages to and from the brain. The feedback loop is stopped in its tracksand your excitement wanes.If this pattern isn’t modified, your pleasure channels shut down. The old maxim “use it orlose it” applies more to sexuality than other parts of life.When you aren’t really conscious of the resistance mechanism at work, these confusingmixed messages can make both giver and receiver crazy. You might feel nervous, anxious,afraid, angry, or withdrawn without any logical explanation. Your old emotional baggage isleading.Awakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 136Ever wonder why sometimes we inexplicably find ourselves laughing, crying, swooning, orscreaming during sex? We’ve touched a nerve from some past wound.Flow With The StreamTo grasp the dynamics of inside resistance, picture a flowing mountain stream. In midsummer,it runs quietly along the rocks, banks, and bottom it’s smoothed for eons. Come springflood, the force of the water causes deep turbulence. Rocks, logs, and the very banks themselvesare battered and often swept away.That’s what internal resistance to energy flow is like, obstacles in the path of an immovablestream — your life force. Doesn’t it feel like you’re getting emotionally battered? Churned up bystress? Pushed around by conflicting tides?Your health responds much the same way. When something throws your system off balance– germs, toxins, poor nutrition, even life setbacks — your body acts against these stresses as bestit can. You feel poorly while attempting to heal. Which is a window into understanding whyregular sex is good for your health and little sex isn’t.Energetic resistance can produce the same kind of downward cycle. When you’re pushingpsychically against something in your life, your immune system can easily go out of whack andyou become vulnerable to disease. Instead of liquid and flowing, your resistant mind is makingyour body struggle.Flow With The StreamYou can soften the brunt of resistance by choosing to mute your desire for living, ignoreyour senses, and avoid pleasure. Then there’s less force battering the stream bed. But you’llslowly die. You’ll create less and less of the enjoyment that is part and parcel of your life force.We don’t recommend hiding away in a cave, sticking your head in the sand, or avoiding what’sbugging you.By the way, this explains why a high stress lifestyle can inhibit your sexual desire and yoursexual performance over time. You wouldn’t want that now, would you? The stress you feelwithin is just another form of resistance. For example, if you place high expectations on yourself(although it may feel like others are doing this), you may have trouble living up to your owndemands.Many of those suffering from sexual resistance distract themselves by total immersion inwork, family, investments, etc. A high stress lifestyle can be just another manifestation ofresistance, sucking a person dry of any energy or time they could use to experience pleasure.If you accept the Tantric premise that pleasure rules and nothing is more important thanfeeling good, you may be able to change these negative imprints consciously. But all too oftenthe issues in your tissues command insidiously below your level of awareness. Which meansyou can’t will these thoughts away.Fortunately, Tantra offers some workable alternatives.Specific Causes of ResistanceThough you’re probably all too aware of many of the resistances in your life, we’vecompiled a short list to broaden your understanding of the possible ways your past can get inthe way of your present. Though sexual abuse and c***d m*****ation are popular news itemsthese days, there are many other ways in which men as well as women collect emotionalwounding and physical trauma.FearsAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 137What we worry about all too often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Fromembarrassing discoveries like finding our first underarm and pubic hairs, wet dreams,or menstruation to our first fumbling sexual encounters, these all have something incommon: ignorance. Without education to prepare ourselves to love and accept who weare, the outside world and our bodies seem awfully scary.Social ConditioningStrict social, religious, and cultural puritanical attitudes create injunctions,prohibitions, and taboos which conflict with our healthy impulses. When we learn themfrom authority figures like parents, teachers, religious leaders, neighbors, and friends,they carry extra weight. We end up being shamed, blamed, and accused for trying todeal with the life forces burbling inside. Even worse, victims of abuse are often madewrong or not believed. All too often we deny our own pleasure feeling it’s wrong or bad,sinful or evil.GuiltWhen we accept our elders’ beliefs about natural feelings and common explorationslike “don’t touch yourself there or you’ll go to hell,” we end up loaded with guilt. Whohasn’t been saddled with guilt by pushing too hard for sex, saying no when we meanyes, or not knowing how to satisfy a lover and feeling inadequate? The biologicalimperatives of love, lust, and intimacy drive us to act, and then we regret being human.Self-JudgmentMaybe the most damaging impact comes from judging ourselves. We explore ourbodies, play doctor with friends, and discover how to give ourselves pleasure — allinnocent explorations — and then we learn “it was wrong.” We become disgusted withour bodies and their natural secretions. We condemn our own jewels (genitals) as sinful,dirty, or base. And these unfair negative self-judgments may get deeply repressedunderground.Painful IncidentsWhen we experience physical ailments in our sensitive areas, they leave lastingimprints. The pains of parental punishments, abusive relationships, infidelities, severelosses, and other violent incidents go deep. We all dread the stories of sexual v******elike **** and i****t, but even common life experiences like c***dbirth, abortion,miscarriage, and insensitive gynecological exams contribute too.Unwanted SexIf it wasn’t bad enough growing up with all these pains, power trips, and mind gamesthat society lays on us, who hasn’t experienced some kind of harassment in our sexuallydistorted world? How many innocents have been mistreated, exploited, used, orviolated? Who hasn’t been pressured, forced, or overpowered to do something theydidn’t want to? Or agreed to make love when they didn’t feel like it or did any of theabove things to another?This is just a brief survey of the many ways our sexually repressive cultures end upcontributing to the resistance we carry around with us. But remember, the outside events,however damaging, can’t produce harmful energetic scar tissue unless you store them deepwithin, never letting the light shine on them.EXERCISE: Resistance Discussion QuestionsAwakening The Sacred Gate June 2003Copyright © 2003 Tantra At Tahoe 138With your partner or in your journal….• Review the ways your resistance shows itself in your life and in your sexualrelationship.• What was your family’s attitude toward sex and sexual play when you were growingup? (Not talking about it is an attitude with a loud and clear message.)• Do you think it has anything to do with the issues in your sex life now? If so, whatmight be the connection?ArmoringWhen past traumatic experiences are lodged in the body’s muscles, they tighten and thesurrounding tissues harden. Some call this “armoring.”Armoring is an attempt to prevent pain. We tighten and contract to avoid discomfort andprotect ourselves. But the energy generated by the experience gets trapped inside. Our bodies